Wafting on the cool wind
as I plow through the snow to the car
comes the heavy scent of roses.
I look for the source without success
as the air is saturated with summer
in frosty winter:
Perfumed paradox.
poem- farewell rose October 9, 2013
The leaves grow brown and fall
but between petals drenched with rain
blossoms still smell of summer sweetness.
poem- summer storm August 12, 2013
Epic battle:
light and dark.
Musket muzzles flash
Light bayonets the hills
with slashing stabs.
In the concussion of the cannonade
Houses rattle.
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So let’s discuss this poem. Despite the nice circuitous connection of battle/rattle , I think ‘houses rattle’ is the weakest line in the poem, and ending with the weakest line is never a good thing. You want a nice strong ending. I started with ‘reverberation’ in the line (no houses at that point) which is perhaps better is some ways, though I felt too obvious a choice.
Let’s workshop this. What do you think? What would you do to the last line to continue the battle metaphor, but convey the quaking ground and rattling windows?
haiku- hot dog July 28, 2013
Overheating dog
stretching out on the cool–floor’s
better than a swim.
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It’s better because I have poodles, and drying after the swim is beyond onerous! Despite the breed being named for their task of bird-dogging into puddles, I prefer mine to stay dry, and they seem of the same mind!
haiku-water park July 24, 2013
At the water park
Small children dance and shake like
robins in puddles
Poem-dropped plunder haiku July 15, 2013
On my deck, a fat
red cherry, bleeding hot juices
from beak shaped gash.
summer comes June 9, 2013
Summer comes
on breaths of
scent drenched air.
Blossoms,
beaches,
and vibrant beauty
enticing an
inhaled happiness,
beckoning the season of
freedom.
Shall I compare thee July 4, 2012
I know. School is over the year. But still, when you come across something this great, you just have to share. 🙂 The referenced poem is at the bottom, just in case you wanted it.
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SONNET 18. William Shakespeare
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
A Year in Love May 27, 2012
I have published an e-chapbook of 22 haiku poems. It is entitled A Year In Love. You can purchase it here. It’s 99c, but if you use coupon code QK59P, you can have it free, my gift to you.
Shawn L. Bird 