Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

haiku-water park July 24, 2013

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 2:53 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

At the water park

Small children dance and shake like

robins in puddles

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10 Responses to “haiku-water park”

  1. navaara Says:

    That is exactly what it looks like at a water park.

  2. pi314chron Says:

    Very nice image but the haiku would be stronger if you can rewrite to avoid using the simile.

    -R-

  3. Adriannetu Says:

    I read your Haiku. Great imagery! Read one of mine: http://adriannetu.wordpress.com/poetry/haiku/secret/

  4. trixijinx Says:

    An excellent comparison, I love it! I was at the water park yesterday with my little niece. She ran up to me and exclaimed that she saw “so many rainbows in the water!” It was adorable.


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