Shawn L. Bird

The fat girl is crying inside tears under  her laughter.

She bounces ’round the school yard and wants to be what boys are after.

Such a shame that she’s so fat

She might be pretty under that.

They never look at her that way, because they are superficial,

She weeps into pillow then decides to make it official.

Such a shame that she’s so fat

She could be pretty under that.

If boys can’t see how sweet she is beneath her layers of fat

She’ll be alone unless she drops the weight and that is that.

She spends some time and works a bit on losing what she can

She drops a few that thin her face and now she’ll snare her man.

Such a shame that she was fat

She’s mighty  pretty under that.

She lies in wait for just the one Who doesn’t know her past

Before he can imagine what’s ahead she’ll snag him tightly fast.

Such a shame she’s been so fat

Everyone knows it’s under that.

And so it  was, a handsome man came looking for a mate

A wedding day and he is snared not knowing what’s his fate.

Such a shame that she was fat

He sees a beauty under that.

The joy of having kids to love can’t quite remove the loathing

she feels when she looks in the mirror and soon she stops her doting.

Such a shame that she’s so fat

and rather bitchy on top of that.

Her handsome man becomes a source of constant humiliation

She wants to be what she can not Her bitterness infuses frustation.

Such a shame that she’s so fat

She should be jolly under that.

Because she can’t accept herself, she compensates with work

She wants everyone to admire her wherever she should lurk.

With strength of will she bends all ears to make them see her side

They buy from her and sing her praise while hubby sees her lies.

Such a shame that she’s so fat

Her husband loves her under that.

From time to time a program comes along and she drops pounds

The success makes her elated and she tells everyone around.

She is trapped in self-disgust in her body that is fat.

Because inevitably it all comes back and more on top of that

There’s only one success in life she’s nothing if not thin

She desperate now to be the girl who always gets to win.

Such a shame that she’s so fat

She’s sure successful  besides that.

.

No matter if she has success and earns a lot of money

The truth of who she really is is certainly not funny.

Inside’s the little fat girl who is self-absorbed and cruel

She’s so desperate for admiration that it only serves to fuel

Control o’er all who come to her thinking she is kind and true

But watch yourself, she’ll take all you’ve got ’til there’s nothing left of you.

Such a shame that she’s like that

No heart is left beneath the fat.

.

.

This poem is rooted in that aphorism “Wherever you go, there you are.”  Some people blame a lot of things for their sense of unfulfillment– their weight, their race, their spouse, their circumstances, having kids, not having kids, etc.  Although we all have challenges to overcome, it’s always our own life, and our character is revealed in how we deal with those challenges.  So here is a narrative of a woman who was obsessed by the needy fat child within her and how  she lets that child run her life.  It’s an extended metaphor.  It is a cautionary tale.   Those inner children should not be allowed to run amok!  They are like Stephenie Meyer’s Immortal Children in Breaking Dawn– they destroy all around them, while the creators lose everything in the fight to save them.  Sometimes we have to destroy the inner child in order to save ourselves and our relationships.