Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

poem- computer woes November 24, 2017

 

You ask me for my email address

When given, much to my distress

You claim it’s already registered.

Why yes!  I tell machine, that’s me, for sure!

You ask me for  user name and password

But when I type them, you claim I’m invalid.

Oh, you passive aggressive machine,

You’re not acting like part of this team!

Inside the circuits of your brain

you’re plotting how to cause me pain.

I can hear your fan blade snicker,

as you plot to raise blood pressure.

Oh computer, use your power for good,

and work like the techies claim you should!

.

.

(Another day, another frustrating encounter with technology!)

 

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poem- a trifle January 11, 2016

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 5:04 pm
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A trifle is an insignificant thing

but not so when set within a trifle bowl

filled to the brim with

custard, cake, whipped cream

and pudding or gelatin

Any of which is itself complete

but oxymoronically a trifle is not trifling feast.

 

poem- matchless October 15, 2015

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 2:53 pm
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“I want a wood fire,” she sighed.

“Go light a match on the porch,” he said,

“and never say I don’t support

your dreams.”

.

.

.

Oh, the sarcasm!  But since they don’t have a fireplace in their house, I guess this is the best that could be managed.

 

poem- retirement project May 5, 2015

Filed under: fun,Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 4:56 pm
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That old shell of a van

might make a fun project for you.

Just think, when it’s done

you can make out in the back with a hot chick,

or at least a chick with hot flashes.

.

 

poem- together November 2, 2014

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:52 am
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His scowl bounces off the walls

and she knows what kind of bounce he needs

but their inconvenient visitor

incites invible depression

so there is no undressing

for decompressing

As Ben Franklin would say,

“Fish and visitors stink

after three days.”

 

anecdote- colouring eyebrows October 10, 2014

Filed under: anecdotes — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:45 am
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Over heard in the staff room:

K- Even if I don’t wear any other makeup, I have to wear mascara: my lashes are white!

S- Me, too.  I use it on my eyebrows, too.

D- What!? Why don’t you just dye your brows?

S- Meh. That’d take time for an appointment and money.  Why bother, my hand’s up there doing my lashes anyway, it’s just an inch further to do a brow.

K- But mascara is so crusty!

S- So? It’s not like I want them billowing in the wind or anything.

🙂

.

.

(At work, they haven’t learned to say, “Don’t put this on your blog!” yet) 😉

 

 
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