Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

rewards September 11, 2012

Filed under: anecdotes — Shawn L. Bird @ 11:48 pm
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This is a true story…  I am required not to give out any names.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who wasn’t a very good reader.  She could read all the words, but she couldn’t make sense of sentences.  She was convinced she couldn’t read.  One day, her school decided to have a read-a-thon to raise money for their new playground.  They would give prizes for the students who raise the most money and who read the most books, in primary, and in intermediate classes. The little girl, who was in primary, indicated an interest in participating in the contest.  Her mother and she sent out messages to every adult they knew, inviting them to pledge per book read.  The friends, knowing  the little girl needed encouragement in her reading, gave generously.  The little girl read as much as she could, and she raised a lot of money.

Another little girl (let’s call her B), also in primary raised more.  The girl who had earned the most in intermediate had earned less than half what our little girl had, but because the primary girl B had earned more, our girl missed a prize.  The four winning students had their pictures taken for the newspaper.

The little girl coveted the fame of appearing in the newspaper.  She determined that the next year, she would win the contest and get into the newspaper herself.

So it happened, that the contest ran the next year, and the little girl did earn the most money.  She waited for the newspaper photographer to come.

Days past.  Weeks past.

Eventually, her mom asked why she was so gloomy, and the little girl explained.  She had done all this work because she wanted to get her picture in the paper, but they weren’t going to get their pictures taken this year.  She sniffed, and a tear rolled down her sweet little cheek.

The next day, her mother phoned the principal and explained.  The principal said that they had completely forgotten about the newspaper, but that indeed, they would definitely call them to come take a picture of the winners.

And so it was that the little girl showed up in the paper, cut up many copies to send with pride to the people who had sponsored her.

Her reading phobia had disappeared, because the accomplishment had proved to her that she was a good reader.  One of the best in the school.

No one knew the real desire and motivation behind her achievement, except her mother.  Luckily, the mother was able to go behind the scenes and ensure that the desired reward was received.  The accomplishment was a big deal.  It had changed her outlook on reading, and her belief in her ability to do things.

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We all deserve to have our accomplishments recognised.  A small symbol of achievement means something, whether it’s an Olympic medal, a Girl Guide badge, or a Rotary Paul Harris Fellowship, we stand proud in knowing we have earned this status.

Playing fields are not equal.  What is a casual thing to one person can be a monumental accomplishment to someone else.  So help them celebrate!

Listen for the cues.  Try to acknowledge great achievement when you see it, even if to you, it doesn’t seem like a big deal.  Maybe it’s a much, much bigger deal than you think.  Don’t put off recognition.  If it’s not timely, you’re minimizing both the effort and the accomplishment.

 

Darwin Award star! August 31, 2012

Filed under: anecdotes — Shawn L. Bird @ 9:21 am
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I frequently use the Darwin Awards as a prompt for writing in my class room (and as object lessons for the students who may be inclined to travel similar roads).  For those of you unfamiliar with the Darwin Awards, they are given posthumously (smirk) to those who have improved the human race by checking out of the gene pool.

This one is a case in point.  This is NOT fake.  This is actual security camera footage of an impatient man removing himself from the gene pool.  Please note the clear glass inserts in the elevator doors.  Oi vay.

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light June 13, 2012

Filed under: anecdotes — Shawn L. Bird @ 2:52 pm
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I had modified a round plastic lamp shade into a bowl by putting a couple pieces of tape across the hole at the bottom.  It was sitting out where it had just served as a draw bucket for a game of charades with my drama class.

We were waiting for the bell.  Rylee picked up the lamp shade and set it on his head.

Justin looked up and said, “Hey Rylee, feeling a little light headed?”

 

Modern pict, in miniature June 11, 2012

Filed under: anecdotes,Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 9:40 pm
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NB.  Beaufort is pronounced Byoo-furt in this one.

Just a snap shot in words.

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“Beaufort T. Scott!  Is that your mama’s blue eye shadow all over your face?” Sadie looked again and rammed her hands onto her hips, elbows jutting out menacingly.  “And why on Earth are you wearing your sister’s skirt?

“It’s not a skirt!  It’s a kilt.  Kilts are for men.  Mama says so!”  He thrust his tongue out to emphasize the point.

“It’s a gingham skirt with a calico ruffle, Beaufort.”

His lower lip quivered.  “It’s a kilt!”

Joline’s kitten pounced by, narrowly missing a lucky grasshopper.  Beaufort bent over to examine it, demonstrating that he was wearing his ‘kilt’ in the traditional manner.

Sadie raised an eyebrow.  “Careful that cat doesn’t reach up and slice off your privates.”

In alarm, the little boy swooped up the cat and dangled it protectively over the privates in question.

Sadie bit back a laugh.  The poor little cat looked for all the world like a pipe major’s badger sporran hanging there, tail twitching between the little boy’s knees.

“Ah, Beaufort,” she sighed.  “You’ll be the death of me.”

 

joy in death May 11, 2012

Filed under: anecdotes,Friendship — Shawn L. Bird @ 9:38 pm
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I have heard a lot of gleeful old ladies discussing the social aspects of funerals.  Sometimes, it seems rather ghoulish, but it’s true, a good funeral is a wonderful opportunity to connect with faces you haven’t seen in years.  If  people are ‘friends of friends’ or family ‘out-laws’ they may have been part of your periphery for a period in your life, but as you move in different directions, you don’t hear of them any longer.

It was sad to bid farewell to a sweet girl who has been on the edge of life for 26 years.  At her birth, the doctors didn’t expect Emily to live out the day, and most days throughout her life were tenuous.  Emily was a model of being grateful for every day, for dressing to the nines, and appreciating the close up details of things.

Amid our sadness, it was lovely see see familiar faces from the past, and appreciate the time to reconnect with them.   No one seems much changed by time, save a few pounds and some hair colour alterations.  I love that.

There is humour in those meetings, as well. A man I hadn’t seen in decades commented tonight that when he would drive through my old neighbourhood that he would wonder what I was doing now.  Ha.  Now he has the link to my blog, all the mystery will be gone.

;-P

 

spousal notes April 29, 2012

Filed under: anecdotes — Shawn L. Bird @ 2:36 pm
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Found when cleaning:

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Dear J,

You are brilliant, handsome, and buff!  I’m glad to be married to such a studly dude! ♥  😀 ♥

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Ditto!

Biking, back about 12:00

———————————————————————–

Last time I looked, you were not married to a studly dude.  Anything you need to tell me?

 

solution to the Hunger Games April 23, 2012

Filed under: anecdotes,Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 3:25 pm
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Overheard in my class room:

If I was a tribute in The Hunger Games I’d make an alliance with everyone and teach them to dance, because everyone knows you don’t murder a flash mob.

-Morgan

🙂

 

Lucky boots January 28, 2012

Filed under: anecdotes — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:02 am
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Sometimes you just get lucky.  Unexpected discoveries, simple pleasures, a wish fulfilled…

Three years ago, I started looking for the perfect pair of grey boots.

My criteria:

  • real leather
  • under $150
  • tall
  • cute

I found the Second Miracle Logan’s on Fluevog.com and drooled big time.  They met all the criteria except price.  Unfortunately they were 3X the budget, and there was no way I could talk myself into them.  >>sigh<<  Every once in a while I’d go back to the site and stare dreamily at them.  Then this fall, they were gone.  I let go the dream that those were my dream boots.  I kept searching for grey boots, but despite the odd ‘grey boots only’ shopping events, I remained empty handed..ur…bare footed?

Today, I was at the Fluevog site and clicked “Clearance.”  There were 3 items in my size, and guess what was there?  ONE pair of my Logan boots!  AND they were so discounted that with tax and shipping they STILL met budget!  My boots are in Montreal.  Fantastique.  Soon they will be here.  My quest for the perfect grey boots has finally ended.

It’s a simple pleasure to have a goal achieved.  Is this a lesson on the value of perseverence and patience?  Perhaps.  Lacing them up is definitely going to require perseverence and patience!  (No kidding- there is no zipper in these).

I decided that I can’t buy a single additional bit of footwear this month.

Good thing it’s the 31st.

No wait.  It’s the 27th!  That’s 4 days to remain new shoeless!  Wow.  That will be hard, but I will fight my base urges and restrain myself.

 

 

Buddha & ballet January 27, 2012

Filed under: anecdotes,Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:03 am
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I think, at least, that it was Buddha who said, “When the student is ready, the master appears.” It’s a good observation; however, the master will no doubt have been there all along, but until the student was ready, he had no focus to see him/her.  What if the master is ready, but no student appears?

As a kid, I took ballet lessons from the founder of the Royal Winnipeg Ballet,  Dr. Gweneth Lloyd. Not advanced, pointe work ballet, mind you. Twinkle-toe tots kind of of ballet. I think it was a complete waste of talent for her to have been teaching me. Perhaps others in the class went on to become amazing stars, but not me. Mind you, I can still do the 5 positions, but the discipline of mind and body required by ballet was definitely not mine. I am not of the “No pain, no gain” school. (My particular mantra is “No pain! No pain!” ) I remember her walking through the class, with her bright red lipstick on, stick in hand, prowling to poke at us “Move this, tighten that.” I was rather traumatized by the whole affair.

Then there was the recital. I was a swamp fairy. Unlike the cute flower fairies who got to wear pastels and tutus, the swamp fairies wore dyed khaki green waffle weave underwear. Yes. really. Undershirts and undershorts. Dyed pukey green. They made me go on stage in underwear.  Did I mention that I had a personal seamstress who’d kept me in adorable little outfits since birth?  All that work to learn a choreography only for public humiliation in underwear.  I cried.  I didn’t want to go on stage.  It was not a happy day.  I did dance, of course, because it was a stage, but plainly I’ve never gotten over it.

I did not go onto further ballet studies, which was probably for the best.

There was a master, but I was not meant to be her student.

Explain that one, Buddha.

 

huh? January 5, 2012

Filed under: anecdotes — Shawn L. Bird @ 9:59 am
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A nurse was walking my father back from the bathroom and turned to me, “You should pick up some Fixodent for him. His teeth are loose, and he’s spitting when he talks.”
I looked at her in confusion. “They make Fixodent for real teeth?”
Now it was her turn for confusion. She looked stunned. “Ninety-seven years old and he still has his teeth?”
I nodded.
“Well. He shouldn’t. They should be falling out.”
Huh?