Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

anecdote-overheard in the classroom October 15, 2014

Filed under: anecdotes,Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 11:05 am
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“I know this guy

who chopped off all his fingers in a blender.”

What?  Was he intoxicated? drunk? high?

“Nope.”

You’re kidding.  Why would he do that?

“Well, you know, he wanted to prove he could touch

the middle of the chopping part without getting hurt.”

But he couldn’t, apparently.

Shrug.  “I guess not.”

Huh.

“Yeah. People from Calgary are stupid.”

.

.

.

Sometimes, I am very afraid for the youth of today.

 

 

Darwin Award star! August 31, 2012

Filed under: anecdotes — Shawn L. Bird @ 9:21 am
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I frequently use the Darwin Awards as a prompt for writing in my class room (and as object lessons for the students who may be inclined to travel similar roads).  For those of you unfamiliar with the Darwin Awards, they are given posthumously (smirk) to those who have improved the human race by checking out of the gene pool.

This one is a case in point.  This is NOT fake.  This is actual security camera footage of an impatient man removing himself from the gene pool.  Please note the clear glass inserts in the elevator doors.  Oi vay.

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True Crime March 2, 2012

Filed under: Commentary,OUTLANDERishness — Shawn L. Bird @ 6:43 pm
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“I greatly preferred dangerous criminals to be incompetent.”

Diana Gabaldon in The Fiery Cross.

.

Me, too!

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It may make you feel a little better about the incompetent crooks in government to read about some truly incompetent criminals who are now behind bars at the Stupid Criminals Hall of Shame.  With criminals, incompetence is good for the public.

 

 
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