Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

poem- dubious June 10, 2015

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 3:36 pm
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secretly

you scribble,

hiding words,

worshipping

silently.

.

.

.

So many kids constantly writing, but not handing in their work!  Arg! 

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poem- 3 things March 25, 2015

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 11:07 am
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On her blog @SarahDoughty prompted:

Tell me a story covering three things:

  1. a promise
  2. why you write
  3. a passion

This was my response.  Not exactly a story, but you know, brevity is an art! 🙂  What’s your response?  Go check out her blog and leave a thought.

.

I do; I do
release the stories,
my dreams of you.

.

POETRY LESSON:

I feel like I need to take this moment to point out what is going on in this poem, because while there are only 3 lines and eleven words, they are woven tightly using a variety of poetic technique.  First, while each line responds in order to Sarah’s 3 prompts, they also read as one sentence, so there are overlapping meanings.  Secondly, there is a pattern of 4-3-4 words.  Thirdly, repetition in the first line is quite emphatic, but provides a rhyme that tightens the ending with you.  

Fourthly, I get seriously carried away with the sound devices assonance and consonance, binding each component of the words to their fellows.  There are three vowels sounds repeated, the only out-lier is the ‘o’ in stories. e.g. I, I, my; do, do, you; release, stories, dreams; the, of.  (Reminder: assonance is repetition of a vowel sound, NOT a letter).  The consonant sounds also repeat with do, do, dreams; release, stories, dreams; release, stories, dreams; my dreams.  The the and of  are both *fricatives, and so while not exactly the same sound, the brain hears them as ‘close enough.’

Finally, that leaves  only the ‘l’ is without a partner, except visually–because I,I,l look the same, don’t they?  And of course, the lonely o from stories, visually matches the o’s in do.  In other words, every component of each word is tied somehow to the rest of the poem.  Absolutely everything fits like a tight puzzle.

Did I do any of this intentionally?  No, actually.  I just responded to the prompt, tidied it up until I liked it, and then when I copied it here, I noticed how tight it was.

*Fricatives in English are f,v, s (both s/z sounds), th (both θ and ð).

 

poem- down January 13, 2015

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 1:23 pm
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And so you’re down

set horizontal

breath burbling

waiting.

 

poem-sliding October 17, 2014

Filed under: OUTLANDERishness,Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:06 am
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Gentle sliding

Pearl draped tenderness

Rocking horse

heaven.

.

.

.

Another #Outlander inspired poem…

(ep 7 is rather inspiring)

 

poem- done September 19, 2014

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:21 pm
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It

is

done.

I

am

done.

We

are

done.

What

is

beginning

?

 

poem- help September 18, 2014

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 2:15 am
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Everything

is easier when somebody

helps you.

 

poem-torn September 17, 2014

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 1:43 am
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The fabric

of my complacency

is torn.

 

 
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