Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

My Sam Heughan encounter April 20, 2015

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A true story.

Back in the summer of 2013, there was a lot of excitement over Ron Moore starting the process of casting for Outlander.  When Sam Heughan was cast in July, he and author Diana Gabaldon started tweeting a lot, and it was fun to be part of the delight and anticipation.  Diana teased him a LOT, and he gave as good as he got.

On August 2, Sam tweeted that he was going to Canada.  I expected him to be going to Ontario, because when people talk Canada, I know they’re not usually thinking of us here in the West. The next thing we knew, Sam had posted an Instagram selfie of himself beside a lake.  I looked at the photo and posted on Facebook, “That looks suspiciously like he’s in the Okanagan…”  i.e. my home town of Kelowna.  I tweeted him and offered to take him out for coffee.  So far, Sam hadn’t had any ‘Outlander fan’ meetings,’ and it would have been fun to meet him, say hi, chat about the books, and the adventure he was about to embark upon.  I know Diana from writing conferences, so she could vouch that I wasn’t anyone creepy (See PPPS, below 🙂 ).  Sam did not reply.  (Not that I was surprised at that; you know the adage: nothing ventured, nothing gained!)

He posted assorted photos from around our region, including one of a relation and a beat up old pick up that they were travelling around in.  August 7 he posted a photo of himself in the Rockies that sounded like he was leaving the country.  I presumed he had made it to Calgary and gone back to Scotland.

August 8, I headed across the Rockies to a writing conference in Calgary  (When Words Collide- a very entertaining Sci-Fi/Fantasy event).  I was on my own in my cute lime green bug, Sheila.  Along the way, I saw a couple of young men standing beside a vaguely familiar old pick up on the side of the TransCanada Highway.  The guys were looking scruffy in shorts and Tshirts.  I glanced over as I drove by; one of the scruffy young men met my eyes.  I always wish I could stop in these situations, but as a woman travelling alone, without mechanical skill, I do not.  I tried to look sympathetic as I gave him a smile, but alone in my cute little Bug, I didn’t stop.BugcovercropTwitter

I got to Calgary, checked into my hotel and about 9 pm that night, logged into Twitter to read that Sam Heughan had been stranded on the side of the TransCanada Highway for 4 hours that afternoon.  The truck had broken down on the way to Calgary.

The truck I passed.

I met Sam Heughan’s

eyes.

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PS>

Sam *does* drive around all the time in my Bug, in the guise of a ‘Pocket Jamie’ tucked behind the bud vase.  When I picked up Diana Gabaldon at the airport last year, she climbed into the passenger seat, caught sight of him, pulled out her phone to take a picture and laughingly said, “Pocket Jamie sure gets around!” 😉

PPS>

In the interest of complete honesty… There were 2 young men.  One was at the front of the truck, looking down, like at a phone; one was walking around the box and he looked up and met my eyes.  I think the one whose eyes I met, was actually Sam’s relation, and Sam was the one at the front, busy with his phone, not noticing me go by at all.  But that is not nearly as fun a tale, and so I apply literary licence.  I like to think that if Sam had looked up, I would have actually recognized him, and ‘knowing’ him, would have stopped.  Right?  (cough).  So it’s his own fault he was stranded so long.  If he’d been paying better attention to cute bugs driving by, he could have be rescued far sooner!  😉   At any rate, I definitely saw Sam.  It’s just 50/50 whether he saw me! 😉  Though you’d think he’d at least remember a car that looks like this, wouldn’t you?

PPPS>

In looking for the links to Sam’s tweets for this post, I came across this whole hilarious conversation between Diana and me that happened through the wee hours of August 4-5.  The poem she refers to is http://www.shawnbird.com/poem-dear-Sam-Heughan (which she helped me write, the traitor).  🙂  Perhaps in consolation, Diana dedicated her daily lines to me on August 5th.   Fair trade, really.  😉  Summer 2013 was full to ->bursting<- with Outlander magic.

 

poem-searches October 9, 2014

WordPress says, seekers came to my blog wondering

‘how tall is Sam Heughan?’

They were looking for ‘Sam heughan butt’

‘Sam Heughan’

and ‘Outlander vocabulary.’

Sam is 6’3″

His butt is not here.

He is not here either

But I once passed him on the highway

and didn’t pick him up.

He was stranded four hours.

I’ll bet he used some colourful

Outlander vocabulary then!

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Seriously, I have written a popular poem about Sam, back when he was first cast as Jamie Fraser in the Outlander series.  You may enjoy it!  Diana did when she read it.

I also have a frequently visited blog post about Diana’s vocabulary in the Outlander series.  

While Sam definitely has a very nice butt, there are no visuals here, but you may find some relief in assorted Outlander poems and other writings.

About the passing him on the highway, that’s true, too!  August 2013 Sam came to BC to visit a relative near where I live.  Read the details here.

 

found poem- NY Outlander premiere July 29, 2014

Diana Gabaldon line at the Outlander panel at 33 minutes: http://www.starz.com/originals/outlander/extras/qanda

In response to the question, “What was her favourite scene in the series so far?”

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“In terms of

visceral reaction,

honesty

compels me

to add,

You have

one

fine

ass,

Sam!*

.

.

.

(She actually said, ‘man’ but she was saying it to Sam Heughan so allow poetic licence).

The buttocks in question will available for admiration August 30th, 2014, when it makes its appearance in the fourth episode of Outlander in the US.  (We have 2 more weeks to wait in Canada, theoretically).

 

poem- button (on a blue shirt) September 11, 2013

Filed under: fun,OUTLANDERishness,Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 1:22 am
Tags: , , , ,

I’m nuttin’

but a simple button.

battling the blues.

Holding fast

amid adversity

standing against stress and strain

I see you stare

I do not care.

While ripping seams are heard in dreams

accompanied by delirious screams

I’m a button with a function–

Keeping everything together

against the odds,

without applause.

For Sam, I can!

Because, madame

I do my button best

clinging lest things explode

against his chest.

.

.

.

Dedicated to the button straining on that blue shirt.  It has a Twitter account.  Seriously.

 

my first video poem- Dear Sam Heughan August 4, 2013

Filed under: OUTLANDERishness,Poetry,video — Shawn L. Bird @ 2:14 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

It took a whole lot longer than I expected, but I managed to record a video, despite the objections of the dogs, the fact that apparently there is not enough light in my house to film a video at midnight for some reason, and the fact that YouTube no longer believes I am who I am, so I had to make a new channel!

I’ve been meaning to do this for ages, so I’m feeling quite accomplished!  Today we were at a wedding, and I’m still a gilded lily, so what better time, right?

Since the most popular poem on my blog (by a LONG shot) is Dear Sam Heughan that is where I began. (If you haven’t read it you may want to.  The Twitter debate at the end is entertaining).  Anyway, here I am, in all my animated splendour!  

Oh- sorry about the hair flipping.  I didn’t realise I do that quite so much! 😉  I’ll try to tone that down next time.

Also- YouTube offered me three options of mutated zombie type versions of myself for the thumbnail you see below.  I apologize that you have to see this.  Rest assured, the other two were worse.

Addendum: Diana Gabaldon made me feel like the most honoured person on the planet when amid a fire storm of the bizarre she dedicated her Daily Lines to me on August 5th.  I read those hashtags and positively GLOW!

 

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Poem- Dear Sam Heughan July 31, 2013

As previously posted, Sam Heughan has been cast to play the character of Jamie Fraser in Ron Moore’s TV series Outlander based on the book series by Diana Gabaldon.  Here is a bit of friendly advice for him.

.

Dear Sam

I am

afraid that the Jamie-philes

will compile more

scary photo-shopped dreams.

It seems that in face of

the depraved 

you are as brave

as your homeland.

So lad,

be glad

of this career boost

But go canny, aye?

They’ll grab that manly thigh

and try to catch your eye,

tear kilt askew

aim for the dagger hilt of you,

and hurdle for the spurtle, too!

Are you up for the ride?

For jokes aside,

Jamie is seriously adored,

these books explored

they touch a chord

with inflamed hordes of fans.

They’ll give you fame

but give them James

Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser

Give them frenzied pleasure.

Be the man the fans adore

and they’ll be yours forever more,

those fanatical fannying fans galore.

Thanks Sam.

.

Sincerely,

Fan.

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A little advice for actor Sam Heughan as the devoted fans of Outlander take over his life (and his Twitter feed)

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August 1. 2013 Note:

This poem was the subject of much hilarity and edification on the Twitter feed when it was posted at about 2 a.m. July 31st.  The line following, “Go canny, aye” was originally about a fan reaching for ‘fanny and thigh.’  Diana Gabaldon tweeted almost immediately to let me know that fanny didn’t mean the same thing in UK as it does in North America, specifically that ‘men don’t have one.’ Then the Scots started posting about their amusement of American usage of the term i.e. falling on your fanny is difficult.  I was sent photos of the beverage called Fanny, which confused me a great deal, because if fanny means vagina, why would you name a carbonated beverage that? (answer: “Scots humour”).  Diana also added that there is the term “fannying around” and that was explained to me by various eager tutors as meaning being silly or goofing off (rather than whoring, which might be the more logical assumption).  So obviously I had to alter a few lines of the poem.  Forgetting that the key was rhyming ‘canny, aye?’ (likely due to the posting of Diana’s infamous Jamie butt pumpkin that evening as well) most tried to think of euphemisms for bum.  This was not helpful at all, but was highly entertaining.  With a few keystrokes, the fanny and thighs became ‘manly thighs’ and the ‘fannying fans’ were added to reflect my new knowledge.   By about 5 a.m. Heulighans from the American Eastern seaboard were waking up, and the responses to the Twitter conversation and the poem went wild.   I update this to honour a wonderful night of giggling over the keyboard with Diana and my fellow fans of her work around the globe.

This post received a remarkable number of visitors- over 450 in the day with many, many lovely comments left for me on Twitter and Facebook.  I thank you all.  I consider myself thoroughly educated and well entertained as well.

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If that wasn’t enough awesomeness,

Diana dedicated her August 5th Daily Lines to ME!

(see Shawn swooning in astonishment)   Read those hashtags:

 #ThisOnesForShawnLBird  

#poetess 

 That’s pretty fantastic support for anyone, don’t you think?  She saw some craziness happening, and this was her response.  I am so glad to know her, to have her support, and to learn how to handle social media hysteria by following her example. “The words get into their heads and drive them mad.”  Yup.  Glad I have friends in high places!  With Diana on my side, I feel almost invincible.

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And now this poem is the subject of my very first poem video!  Click to see and hear it! 🙂

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For the #HeughansHeughligans = a Mustard Bean Pickle recipe July 16, 2013

In response to the furore racing around the Outlander world about main character Jamie Fraser being played by Sam Heughan, and the requirement that to be a #HeughansHeughligans you must like pickles (don’t ask).  I hereby humbly submit my mother-in-law’s Mustard Bean Pickle recipe.  I love these.  I haven’t made them in years, but it might just be time again!  (This is not Outlander’s Kitchen.  I am not a chef).

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5 qt cut up beans (personally, I like them left long)

2.5 c boiling water

2.5 tsp pickling salt*

Cook beans in water/salt  above until just tender.  Drain.  Reserve liquid.  In a bowl, mix

1.25 c flour

5 tsp pickling salt

3/4 c dry mustard

2.5 tsp turmeric

8 c sugar (5 brown+3 white)

with half the reserved bean liquid to make a smooth, thin paste.  Reserve.  Boil

6.5 c vinegar

2.5 tbsp celery seeds

2 c of water

Gradually add this vinegar mixture TO the paste, mixing well after each addition.  Return to the pot and cook, stirring constantly until thick- about 5 minutes.   Add beans and bring to a boil.

Pour into hot sterilized jars.  Seal.

Munch cold while enjoying Outlander starring Sam Heughan on Starz come spring 2014.

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*note= use pickling salt as the iodine in regular salt makes pickles soft.  No one wants droopy pickles.

 

 

 

 

 
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