I love learning. I like researching and writing papers. I like developing programs and evaluating them. I like coming up with innovative ways of doing things. I love the satisfaction of successfully meeting a challenge. In short, I’m a nerd.
This also means, I probably should have applied for grad school years ago. It was first suggested to me by a teaching assistant in a Women’s History course I did back about 1989. At the time, in a one income household with a toddler and baby, it was just something to sigh about and say, “Some day…”
I did apply for an extremely competitive Creative Writing program at an eminent university two years running. They have very, very low acceptance rate, but I figured, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” As it happened, I received the second rejection the same day I got my first royalty cheque from Grace, and somehow that told me that it didn’t matter. Most people enter that program so they can get a royalty cheque. I was ahead without them. I will continue to develop those skills working with amazing authors, attending conferences, reading, and being challenged by my editor and friend, Vikki.
I still want to learn though, and I want the credential, because it will open other opportunities. Today I dropped two grad school applications in the mail. Ideally, I’m going explore the Finnish education system and how it can be adapted for use in B.C. I’ll focus on some sort of curriculum development, either in the traditional class room or via distance learning. Both options offer all sorts of exciting prospects, so I’m eager to see where I’ll end up.
Should I confess that my biggest fear is that if I end up in a program that requires weekend study, that it will impact the May 2014 weekend when Diana Gabaldon will come to be presenter at the Shuswap Association of Writers’ Word on the Lake Festival of Writers and Readers? The grad school will have to do without me that weekend, as I’ve already booked it off! My kids aren’t allowed to get married that weekend either. I have my priorities.
And how should I celebrate this new adventure? Some would raise a drink with friends, or take their honey out for dinner. I’m celebrating with new Vogs, culled from the collection of the ultimate Vogger, Rebecca in Winnipeg.
Welcome to the family Fluevog Second Miracle Cascades… (See if you can find them in the group photo of Rebecca’s shoes, in the link above!)
Shawn L. Bird 
becoming what I mean February 25, 2013
Tags: Barbara Kruger, becoming, being, identity, love
-Barbara Kruger
I read this quote in the book Blueprints for Better Girls (which was painful to read and not about bettering anyone). The quote is interesting. I suspect that one could ruminate for a long time on all the permutations it triggers. I think it will mean something new to you almost every time you consider it.
Kruger is an artist who creates these slogans as a kind of anti-establishment declaration, meant to challenge the viewer. You can read more about her in this article from Mother Jones magazine.
My first connection to this quote was to recall a youthful romance. It could have been spoken by the young man. In reality, he did not become what he meant to me. And yet he did, because I fashioned him in the image I desired, and so he remained in memory, inviolate.
My children could say this to me. I could say it to them.
In some ways, it’s a fatalistic thought. We are bound to disappoint. In other ways, it’s a liberating thought. We are imperfect, and accepting that, we are free to be whoever we grow to be.
What does it mean to you?
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