As previously posted, Sam Heughan has been cast to play the character of Jamie Fraser in Ron Moore’s TV series Outlander based on the book series by Diana Gabaldon. Here is a bit of friendly advice for him.
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Dear Sam
I am
afraid that the Jamie-philes
will compile more
scary photo-shopped dreams.
It seems that in face of
the depraved
you are as brave
as your homeland.
So lad,
be glad
of this career boost
But go canny, aye?
They’ll grab that manly thigh
and try to catch your eye,
tear kilt askew
aim for the dagger hilt of you,
and hurdle for the spurtle, too!
Are you up for the ride?
For jokes aside,
Jamie is seriously adored,
these books explored
they touch a chord
with inflamed hordes of fans.
They’ll give you fame
but give them James
Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser
Give them frenzied pleasure.
Be the man the fans adore
and they’ll be yours forever more,
those fanatical fannying fans galore.
Thanks Sam.
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Sincerely,
Fan.
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A little advice for actor Sam Heughan as the devoted fans of Outlander take over his life (and his Twitter feed)
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August 1. 2013 Note:
This poem was the subject of much hilarity and edification on the Twitter feed when it was posted at about 2 a.m. July 31st. The line following, “Go canny, aye” was originally about a fan reaching for ‘fanny and thigh.’ Diana Gabaldon tweeted almost immediately to let me know that fanny didn’t mean the same thing in UK as it does in North America, specifically that ‘men don’t have one.’ Then the Scots started posting about their amusement of American usage of the term i.e. falling on your fanny is difficult. I was sent photos of the beverage called Fanny, which confused me a great deal, because if fanny means vagina, why would you name a carbonated beverage that? (answer: “Scots humour”). Diana also added that there is the term “fannying around” and that was explained to me by various eager tutors as meaning being silly or goofing off (rather than whoring, which might be the more logical assumption). So obviously I had to alter a few lines of the poem. Forgetting that the key was rhyming ‘canny, aye?’ (likely due to the posting of Diana’s infamous Jamie butt pumpkin that evening as well) most tried to think of euphemisms for bum. This was not helpful at all, but was highly entertaining. With a few keystrokes, the fanny and thighs became ‘manly thighs’ and the ‘fannying fans’ were added to reflect my new knowledge. By about 5 a.m. Heulighans from the American Eastern seaboard were waking up, and the responses to the Twitter conversation and the poem went wild. I update this to honour a wonderful night of giggling over the keyboard with Diana and my fellow fans of her work around the globe.
This post received a remarkable number of visitors- over 450 in the day with many, many lovely comments left for me on Twitter and Facebook. I thank you all. I consider myself thoroughly educated and well entertained as well.
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If that wasn’t enough awesomeness,
(see Shawn swooning in astonishment) Read those hashtags:
#ThisOnesForShawnLBird
#poetess
That’s pretty fantastic support for anyone, don’t you think? She saw some craziness happening, and this was her response. I am so glad to know her, to have her support, and to learn how to handle social media hysteria by following her example. “The words get into their heads and drive them mad.” Yup. Glad I have friends in high places! With Diana on my side, I feel almost invincible.
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Shawn L. Bird 