I rolled my tongue across my front teeth the other day and for the first time since I was twelve, it was a smooth path. No lump. No left front tooth jutting diagonally over top the right front tooth. All smooth. Wow.
It felt weird. I looked in the mirror and my mouth was different. It was an odd sensation, like a part of me had altered in a way that would never return. That is the point, of course. I didn’t begin the process of getting Invisalign braces with the idea of my teeth remaining the same, and yet here I am, only six weeks into the process and my front teeth are completely changed.
I was surprised at the way it challenged my visual self-image. If something as simple as a straightened tooth can cause this re-alignment of my self-awareness, what happens to someone who re-builds her nose or sculpts a new chin? How do people take the image they’ve always seen in the mirror and equate the new person they see there? Can they even really see the new person or is the image altered by expectation of what has always been before? How about people who have been heavy their entire life, after they lose 100 lbs? What about someone who has had facial reconstruction after an accident? What about a burn victim?
How does the new person in the mirror become ‘me’ for these people? Do they ever feel like the outside and the inside don’t match anymore? Do they doubt the sincerity of the people they meet? Do they live in terror that someone will figure out the ‘real’ them isn’t the person that is visible in the mirror? Or is it just the opposite: the mirror finally matches the person they knew they were inside?
A re-alignment of teeth is a pretty minor adjustment really, and yet it’s altering my perspective. I’d love to hear from others who’ve gone through some altering of their perspective on themselves. Is it as difficult a process as I imagine?
© Shawn Bird 2010
Shawn L. Bird 