This is absolutely delightful. Florence Baptist Temple in Burlington, Kentucky, USA sure put on a great show for their Singing Christmas Tree! These young men are quite awesome. In honour of the beginning of the Christmas season: Enjoy!
.
This is absolutely delightful. Florence Baptist Temple in Burlington, Kentucky, USA sure put on a great show for their Singing Christmas Tree! These young men are quite awesome. In honour of the beginning of the Christmas season: Enjoy!
.
You
were the stranger in the house
the sullen face across the table.
You
were the accuser in the house
certain of your imaginary world.
You
were the lost in the house
confused by our reality.
You
were in the house,
but we did not reach
You.
On a non-stop eight hour drive,
we paused for fuel.
“What?” you asked
As you intercepted smirks
passed over your head,
when you climbed into the back seat
after the gas station bathroom break.
“Nothing,” we said, as we pulled
back onto the highway.
Even though your sister had been
traumatized when I left her
standing in the driveway as we tore off to the bus stop
that time,
while you waved at her from the back seat
and waited for me to notice,
this time
when your dad slammed the car door,
buckled up,
and drove away,
destination in his mind,
she was the one who said,
“Missing anyone?”
so when you climbed into the car,
you never even knew
you’d ever been left behind.
For Max
.
They come
each year
the lesser children:
intelligence
lesser
body
lesser
behaviour
lesser
abilities
lesser
esteem
lesser
You look upon each one
and tell him
he is more
she is more
Be the best
because
you are the best!
You say it
and you mean it
and bit by bit
what was lesser
grows
and they believe
they are more
than their weaknesses
they are more
than society’s expectation
they are more
than their labels
They drink your words
lips tightly closed at first
but sip by sip they are filled
until they swim in the belief
that they can
be
their best.
They leave
greater
children
Because you
believe
they are.
At the water park
Small children dance and shake like
robins in puddles
Never,
ever,
make your
mother cry.
Never,
ever,
bring tears
to her eye.
Never,
ever,
force a
melancholy sigh
Never,
ever,
make her
sacrifices lie.
Never,
ever,
make your
mother cry.
Unless,
she’s blessed,
and tears are joy
wept dry.
I was a little surprised when a little boy arrived in my household on this day in history, many moons ago. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t had 9 months warning of the arrival, it’s just that I was expecting another girl. I didn’t quite know how to wrap my head around this foreign creature with the strange anatomy. But a baby is a baby, and he managed to wiggle into my heart without too much effort. He was pretty cute and he was a charmer from the very beginning. Who could resist a grin like this? Happy Birthday, baby boy. 
drain kids August 14, 2012
Tags: children, drain, grown, independence, kids, parenting, support, twenties
I’m thinking about grown kids and pondering some things I’ve been noticing lately.
First, it seems that a lot of twenty-somethings these days seem to expect that their parents should still be supporting them financially (and the odd estranged spouse who thinks the OTHER spouse should be supporting adult kids who have been poisoned against them). I’m kind of baffled by this concept. It seems to me that if you are no longer living at home, if you are healthy, if you are in school, or if you are in a couple, you are definitely old enough to be responsible for yourself. I observe many who seem to think they’re entitled to a nice house, a nice car, an expensive education, and a large entertainment budget, and that their parents should still be footing the bill for this.
Really?
When do they plan to grow up and be responsible for themselves?
I was married at 21. Our wedding budget was $1000. We went to school, scrimped, shopped at thrift stores, had babies, and we never moved back in with our parents. We couldn’t afford a honeymoon, or even vacations for many years. We visited our parents. Now, our parents definitely tried to help us out. They would always send us home with groceries, baking, canned goods, and even clothing. But we never would have imagined monthly financial support from them. They didn’t even help with tuition unless we were paying them back (which we did promptly).
We still earned degrees, bought progressively bigger houses, and eventually went on vacations. I know it’s possible to do this even now, and know young couples who have a mature and responsible view to their independence.
The drain children alarm me. I feel particularly for their parents, who are being manipulated by kids who won’t talk to them if they’re not forking over cash. At the same time, I recognise that parents often like to help their kids and feel good to know they’re giving them a leg up. When those kids are ungrateful, malicious, or obnoxious, I don’t think there is anything wrong with letting them live with the logical consequences and to earn their way. When they’ve been supported, helped, loved and encouraged their whole lives and then are horrible to their parents, I think that is a sign of immaturity that requires some time and distance. At some point they have to learn what mutual respect looks like. I’ve heard the, “but then I’ll lose them” argument and I wonder at what point we let our kids make their own choices? It’s like that poster from the 70s,
They can leave, and they can come back when they’ve matured a bit and learned to be responsible for their own decisions and budget. (Or more likely, when they need grandparents to help babysit.) We do the best we can as parents, but we have to let them go at some point! They have to be free to make mistakes so they can grow. They have to be pushed out of the nest even if they sit on the ground peeping frantically, convinced they can’t do it. We have to force them to learn to use their wings, or they’ll never fly.
What do you think? Are you a 20-something? Are you supported by your parents? Are you a parent? Are your kids a drain?
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