Let a man be stimulated by poetry, established by the rules of propriety, and perfected by music. – Confucius
It makes you wonder if Confucius knew Ben, doesn’t it?
Confucius says… June 25, 2011
flaming bridges June 22, 2011
March on
there is no going back
to the poverty of that place
the weakness of spirit
the negative helplessness
that grabs and pulls at rescuers
like a frantic drowning man.
March on
to the sunrise over the hill
to the success that awaits
to the skilled craftsmen
No more wasted hours while poor work unfolded
and you bought things you didn’t need in kind charity.
No more frustration at the
self-imposed and self-declared uselessness.
March on
and shake the dust off the sandals.
♪ There will be poor always,
pathetically struggling ♪
You have done what you could
and now you are free
to stomp over the bridge
march on.
the gentle art of the critique June 20, 2011
Or it my case, the brutal crush of the criticism.
I live in a world that requires critical evaluation. Every year I have my students complete a questionnaire about their year so I can use their feedback to become a better teacher the next year. I submit my literary babies to be studied by editors whose job is finding things I did badly. When I have a harp lesson, the teacher’s job is to tell me what are the weak areas in my playing. When I am taking a dance class, the teacher’s job is to point me out in the middle of class and say, “You’re not doing that move correctly”
In every aspect of my life, I expect to be offered helpful advice. In many cases I am paying good money to be told that I stink at something. What would be the point of doing any of these things if I didn’t want to get better at them? How could I get better at them without someone showing me exactly what I’m doing wrong?
This is why I don’t understand the people who ask for advice, but spend all their time arguing or denying when the suggestions are given.
I’ve been to Author Blue Pencils where the author critiquing my work spends more time telling me that I’m free to take or leave her suggestions than actually giving me practical advice. Now I tell them straight out that I’m there to listen. Most recently, I tell them exactly what I want them to help me with. e.g. “I think this area is weak, what suggestions can you make?” or “Is this exposition clear enough?” They are always so relieved that I really want honesty and that I can ask intelligent questions to clarify what they’re telling me that I get great feedback. Even if I disagree with them, when I’ve heard their advice, I go home and look at the work and ponder. I almost always edit later taking their suggestions into account. People who are successful in your field will give you invaluable information, what kind of fool are you when you discount it?
I am okay with separating an action from my personal value. Because I don’t do a ‘half Amaya hip slide’ correctly, does not mean I’m stupid, incompetent, or bad. It means I need to spend some time working on that skill. That’s all.
Because I expect feedback and critiques in all areas of my life, I have trouble with people who get all defensive and argumentative when they are given advice. I tend to lay things out plainly and expect rational consideration. I recognise that I have all the finesse of a blunt stick at times. I don’t want to hear whining. I give my opinion. I just want them to consider what I am saying and how following my advice might improve their writing, business, or whatever.
So here is some advice for you: If someone offers you suggestions meant to help you, quit wasting your time complaining about the injustice of the comments or how the advisor is so mean to you and put your energy into thinking about the information they’ve given you. It doesn’t matter if you agree right away, but you have to start by accepting that there are other perspectives than your own and you have something to learn in studying other perspectives. If it is a professional comment, be professional in how your receive it. Thank the client for telling you. Many clients will simply smile, tell you things are great, but then they don’t return and they tell their friends what they didn’t like about your business. Be very thankful for a client who helps you improve and grow.
No one who is successful in life runs from criticism. It is the manna the feeds the improvements that they must build on.
Choose to be successful.
broken heart June 13, 2011
Topic #157: Describe the first person who broke your heart. And if you could take revenge on them now, would you? Did you ever think about it? What would you say to them now if you met them on the street?
I am sure that I am an oddity, but my heart has never been broken from a romantic attachment.
The first boy I loved remained a precious part of my life, and even though the time came when it was mutually understood there was not going to be a romantic future for us, the friendship remained strong and I can say that is probably is just as strong today though we haven’t seen each other in over a decade. If I saw him today I’d give him a big hug and prepare to start laughing at the way our lives are working out. Far from revenge, I’d be handing him a copy of Grace Awakening and challenging him to figure out all the minute memories of our real past that were the germs for the fantastic voyage that Grace experiences.
I was engaged, and the engagement was broken off, and even that seemed right under the circumstances and didn’t cause me to feel like my world was over. It was just the right decision at the moment. Of course, a week later everything had changed and two weeks later, we were married, a month earlier than planned. We remain so, today, thoroughly attached and very appreciative of each other.
I have had my share of gut wrenching rejections in other scenarios, but never by a young man to whom I had entrusted my heart. I guess that means that I chose wisely where to put my affections. Those were the biggies, but there were a few small crushes over the years, and even those dissolved amicably. There might have been a tinge of sadness, but no anger, frustration, pain or agony. I can divide myself into the feeling part who celebrates the joy, and when the opportunity for more painful emotions arrives, then I can switch to the logical part to understand the pros and cons of the relationship. It makes it easier to cope with the more unpleasant realities when you can see it logically. (It works for rejection notes from publishers and discussions with editors as well!)
When I was the source of the affection, and I didn’t return the feelings being tentatively expressed, I hope I was as kind and gentle to my suitors as the young men I had crushes on were to me. I would like have left them fond memories and no regrets.
pieces of sky June 2, 2011
Pieces of sky
fall upon flowers
and flatten summer.
Sky in pieces
weeping and whispering
bemoans gone sun.
Pieces of sky
crack away and fall
flaming to forest.
Sky in pieces
watching and waiting
passes in sighs
by peace.
Bird haiku May 19, 2011
A violet bird sits
in her nest in the arbor,
filling sky with song
.
.
Congratulations Philip and Violet
just 10 more weeks ’til hatching!
♪ kind, kind, kind vibrations ♪ May 17, 2011
Here is a lovely thought from fantasy author Charles de Lint that fits with the kindness assignment my grade 7s are working on this week:
“It’s funny what a difference a positive attitude can have. When you go out of your way to be nice to people, or do something positive for those who can’t always help themselves…it comes back to you. I don’t mean you gain something personally. It’s just that the world becomes a little bit of a better place, the music becomes a little more upbeat, and how can you not gain something from that?
See, when you get down to the basics of it, everything’s just molecules vibrating. Which is what music is, what sound is, vibrations in the air. So we’re all part of that music and the worthier it is, the more voices we can add to it, the better we all are.”
~Charles de Lint in Moonlight and Vines. p. 33.
What more can I add to Mr. de Lint’s words?
(Well, I will add something eventually, but for now, let’s just absorb his brilliance).
spring haiku May 14, 2011
Trees are blossoming
with the glorious promise
of summertime fruit
(c) Shawn Bird
Canzionere 36 May 12, 2011
How’s your Italian?
36
S’io credesse per morte essere scarco
del pensiero amoroso che m’atterra,
colle mie mani avrei già posto in terra
queste mie membra noiose, et quello incarco;
ma perch’io temo che sarrebbe un varco
di pianto in pianto, et d’una in altra guerra,
di qua dal passo anchor che mi si serra
mezzo rimango, lasso, et mezzo il varco.
Tempo ben fôra omai d’avere spinto
l’ultimo stral la dispietata corda
ne l’altrui sangue già bagnato et tinto;
et io ne prego Amore, et quella sorda
che mi lassò de’ suoi color’ depinto,
et di chiamarmi a sé non le ricorda
Poor Petrarch. In this sonnet he is wishing he could free himself from the obsession of his love, but he thinks that death would just put him into another war, from one grief to another. He begs Love, who has painted him with color, but doesn’t remember to come when he calls her. ..
Poor desperately obsessed Petrarch. Of course, even death was not an escape. He still suffered for another thirty years after Laure died. It wasn’t until the last decade of his life that his writings suggest he was released and could focus on worship of God and not his muse.
I played with a multi-colour pencil crayon and my calligraphy pens to transcribe this sonnet today. Here is the result:
Canzionere 36 da Petrarca
I think that when I take the time to set this up for a good copy, with copy lines and borders, it will be quite effective. I particularly like my Italian pseudonym Giovanna Uccello. 😉 it’s fun having an easily transliterated name… Jeanne Oiseau. I mean, Shawn Bird.
refrain to re-train May 11, 2011
Don’t explain a gain.
Re-train the brain.
Retain the refrain in the brain:
ABSTAIN!
Shawn L. Bird 