Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

pain and joy August 17, 2011

Filed under: Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:41 am
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I was watching Oprah the other day, and was so sad to hear of the tragic  experience of Chris and Lori Coble who lost their three young children in a horrific car accident.  Lori, her mom Cindy, and the kids, who were all buckled properly in their car seats, were stopped in a traffic jam around a blind corner.  A semi came around the corner a full-speed, and rammed into the mini-van killing all the children.

Can you imagine the anguish?

Three months of full-on, falling into pieces grief, the Cobles decided to do invitro fertilization to have more children.  I’ve read some commentary around the internet that some people think that was inappropriate.  One person said you wait longer to replace a dog.  All I could think when I read that, was that this person obviously didn’t love his dog enough.  We have always been out within the week, desperately attempting to fill the aching hole in our hearts and house.  If it was like that for our dog, I  can easily imagine how Cobles would be compelled to have more children, as soon as possible.

Having new children was never going take away the pain of losing the first three. It wasn’t going to replace Katie, Kyle, and Emma. , but it would give them something to live for.  Having children to care for was going to bring light, love, and laughter into their home: things that were desperately needed to lift the fog of horror and loss.

So almost a year after the accident that stole Katie, Kyle, and Emma, Lori delivered triplets.  Two girls and a boy: Ashley, Ellie, and Jake. Three sweet, busy children to echo the loss and encourage them to go on.  It’s enough to raise the goose-bumps, isn’t it?

Here is a video of Lori and Chris giving advice on how to comfort your friends who have lost a child.

Here is a video tribute to Kyle, Katie and Emma.

Here is a summary article about the Oprah interview.

 

love what you do, do what you love August 16, 2011

Filed under: Pondering,Reading — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:24 pm
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One of my favorite movies is the 1995 version of Sabrina, with Harrison Ford and Julia Ormand.  The obsessive adoration and the surprise of overlooking a greater love plays right into my romantic sensibilities.  I love the close relationship between Sabrina and her father, the chauffeur.  When she has returned, transformed, from Paris and is sorting out her new world, she observes,

I love so many things about you, Dad. But you know what I love best of all? You became a chauffeur because you wanted to have time to read. All my life, I’ve pictured you… sitting in the front seat of a long succession of cars… waiting for the Larrabees and reading.  (Sabrina, 1995)

This quote is interesting for a few reasons.

First, of course, it points to the concept that the desire to read, to know, to experience can be so overwhelming that it fills a life.  I spend much of my summers reading, and at the moment I’ve been reading so much that my eyes are aching and puffy.  I love that idea of having a job that leaves lots of time to explore new worlds.

Second, is the idea of choosing a job that allows you do what you love.  Sabrina’s father, Thomas Fairchild, loves to read.  He could have found a job as an editor, perhaps,  but then he wouldn’t get to choose what he reads.  Instead, he found a job that involves  so much waiting, that there was always ample opportunity to be reading.

As an added plus, he was able to hear so much stock information from the back seat, he was able to earn a fortune while he lived above the garage and read between the commutes.  The message is, if you choose to do what you love, and pay attention to other opportunities, you can make a perfect life for yourself.

I’m glad to have a job that I love.

It’s not worth the cash to do something you dislike just for the money.

Quality of life is important.  Do what you love.

 

keep walking August 13, 2011

Filed under: Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 11:31 pm
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If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking. ~Buddhist Saying

It may take a while, but step by step, you get closer to your goal.  Don’t give up.  Don’t be discouraged.  Just keep moving forward.

While I was going to university, I got married, had babies, and moved a dozen times.  These were not activities that promoted speedy academic progress!  It took me 8 years to get my first degree, step by step, course by course.   Eventually the end arrives, if you keep moving toward your goal.

When I was writing Grace Awakening, I wrote 5 pages a day, 25 pages a week, for 6 months.  23 weeks later, there was a novel on my computer.   Some people write 8 hours a day and do 20 or 30 pages a day.  They speed through a novel in a month.  My pace may seem like I’m a tortoise in comparison, but I got there.  If I had gotten down on myself for not being a speedy hare, I might not have finished at all.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Keep your eyes on the prize.

Onward!

 

Where did it all begin? August 10, 2011

Filed under: Grace Awakening,Literature,Poetry,Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:02 am
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I was asked this question yesterday, and I figured you might be interested in the answer.

Short answer: it began with a poem.

Long answer: it’s been a long journey, but it began with a boy, a poem, and some books.

When I was ten, I developed a crush of epic proportions. Since I was an avid reader, I was also a writer. I’d been making up stories and writing poetry since I was in grade three. The unexpected, overwhelming emotions involved in this crush, led to outpourings of poetry. The theme was common: where had this emotion come from? Surely something this intense couldn’t just have happened? Surely such emotion must have been in the universe forever?  The year I was twelve, I wrote this poem, which summarizes this sensation:

When I look at you
I see sunshine in darkness
Passion through naïveté

I think that we were lovers once
In another life
You and I belonged
And that is why we were drawn

That is why I love you so much
And why your name
Brings happiness through sorrow

A wisp of a smile
When day dies
I remember you and I smile

You are my day and my night
Your face is a memory
That time cannot erase,
And someday
In another life
We will be lovers
Once again

It’s the poem Grace’s hand writes in the library. She is shocked and dismayed by what it reveals to her.  I know it isn’t a great poem, and I would tighten it up if I was writing it now, but I wanted it to be here as an authentic voice, flaws and all.

That poem begged to be a novel. There was a need to explore that sense of infinity that comes with a profoundly intense relationship like a first love, and like a lasting love, as well.

I tried to write it a few times over the years, but it didn’t go anywhere. I could get a narrative, but there was no hook to hang the story on. It was boring. If it was boring for me, it’d be boring for readers. Still, that love story wanted out, and it waited.

Then one day, I was reading some questionaires I”d given my students. In answer to the question, “What is the best book you’ve ever read?” About a quarter of my class had answered, “Twilight.” I’d never heard of it. I mentioned this to one of my older students and she told me she had all three of the books that were out, and that I needed to read them. The next day I had Twilight. A few hours later I was dying for the next books. They were delivered, and I read between work, dance classes and way too many Rotary meetings. I adored the story and I adored the characters. I was making connections like crazy- the key to one’s enjoyment of a book- and I had an epiphany.

Myth could be the hook. I started writing the week after Thanksgiving 2008. The characters started introducing themselves. I tried to move them in one direction, they chose to go another. The book was done the week before April. And it was good.

It wasn’t perfect, of course. The first readers picked out weak scenes, slow spots, confusing things, etc, but they loved it. They wanted more.

And that’s where it all began…

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If you’re visiting from Poetry Potluck 48, please include the link to your poem in any comment you leave!  Thanks and thanks for coming by!

 

Okanagan Mountain Fire evacuation, August 2003 August 9, 2011

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 1:37 am
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This was my second entry on the theme of fire for the Burnaby Writers Society poetry contest. One more month until winners are announced.  I played around with stanza parallelism here, sometimes using strict rhyme, sometimes consonance.  I had never seen this done before, so I was impressed with how well it worked.

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Okanagan Mountain Fire evacuation, August 2003

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Fears.
A crimson hill glows above.
High from here, grey clouded skies
shower us in ghosts of pine needles
that dissolve at my touch
into powdered ashes,
while I load the van with memories.

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Tears
Glisten, fill, flow out of,
My father’s grave, clouded eyes.
Cowering and aghast in pain, he huddles
and revolves as he’s nudged,
disempowered, ashen.
While I lead the man, his tremors ease.

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This poem was linked to the Poetry Potluck on the theme of history and events.  If you are visiting from the potluck, please include a direct link to your poem in a comment below.  Thanks!  It makes it easier for all participants that way.

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happiness complications August 6, 2011

Filed under: Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 2:33 am

Last week I commented on this quote,

“Happiness is a quality of mind. It is something we possess within…if we do not have it within, nothing outside can give it to us.”

– Paramananda

My parting line was “Happiness is a choice.”  I have to provide a corollary to that.

A significant portion of our population can’t make that choice.  They suffer from dysthymia, a chronic depression that impacts their ability to be optimistic, recognize good things, find joy, and believe the best.

Those people  have to choose happiness in a roundabout way, by accepting a need to seek treatment for their depression.   If you are one of those people who is never interested in anything, have trouble concentrating, believe nothing good is coming in your life, and you’ve ‘always been this way.’  Then perhaps you have dysthymia.  It’s important to see your doctor, because it can be managed with medication.  You have to be responsible for your life: you want it to be the best it can be.  Investigate your options.  See your doctor.

Choose happiness.

Read about dysthymia here.

 

Happiness is July 30, 2011

Filed under: Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:24 pm
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‎”Happiness is a quality of mind. It is something we possess within…if we do not have it within, nothing outside can give it to us.”

– Paramananda

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Profound, eh?

I think of it in terms of those choices that I’ve been blogging about lately.  We choose to be happy.  You hear people every day grumbling about this and that minor complaint all the time.  You’d think the entire world was conspiring against them.  Then you meet someone who has a happy heart, but is an invalid, or lives in third world poverty.  Every day is struggle.  The struggle could have worn them into bitterness, but here they are smiling and joyful.  Why?  Not because their troubles are less than yours, for in fact, their troubles are infinity greater than yours.  They are smiling and joyful because they choose to be.

That’s all.

Happiness is not something to pursued, constantly running ahead, just out of reach.

Happiness is something to embrace in every moment.

Happiness is a choice.

 

Norway Peace Invocation July 29, 2011

Filed under: Commentary,Pondering,Rotary invocations — Shawn L. Bird @ 1:01 pm
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In the peaceful country of Norway, known for its celebration of progress and innovative thinking, the unthinkable has happened. Promising futures are destroyed by narcissistic, self-deluding ideology

While there is war within a broken heart, peace can not reign within. Let us be mindful of our duty to promote peace within ourselves, for the individual must be at peace before a family can be at peace. A family must be at peace before a land can be at peace. Land must be at peace before a nation can be at peace. Nations must be at peace before the world can be at peace.

Let us take responsibility to mend wounded hearts and share peace with those around us.

Let us be thankful today for the health and safety of those we love, and thankful that the world grieves collectively this injustice. We are still a culture of peace, even amid destruction.

“Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”

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Available for free use within Rotary; however, please indicate in the comment section below that you have used it at your club (date and name).
 

Dream come true July 27, 2011

Filed under: Pondering,Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 11:27 pm
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It’s an odd feeling when a dream comes true.  After the initial euphoria of seeing what you may have wished for and worked for accomplished, there is a only a brief sense of completion and satisfaction.

While it’s fantastic that the dream has been achieved, one can’t just bask forever in achieving one dream, can one?  And so, while it was heart stopping to suddenly see Awakening Dreams listed on Amazon’s Kindle store today, and to know that my work was now available to the world, already plans are at work on the next dream!  Several books and miscellaneous other projects call.

Let the dreaming continue!

 

summer storm tanka July 18, 2011

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:18 am
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light fractures the sky

overhead, the explosion

crashes and smashes,

roaring to the universe

of heaven’s summer power

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As I write, the sky is flashing and the rain is pouring down.  The thundering echoes are rumbling above the house and wind is blowing.   There are some thirty thousand motorcycle riders camping in the area for a huge rally that’s been going on this weekend.  I’ll bet the ones that left today are really glad they’re not in a tent in this storm!