Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

Another reason why I’m a Rotarian April 4, 2012

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 3:03 pm
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Yay! April 2, 2012

Filed under: Commentary,Grace Awakening,Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 9:40 pm
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Happy news! I have been assured that by the end of the Easter weekend, Grace Awakening Power WILL be back for final final final view before release to press!

Dare I hope?

Fingers crossed!

This is how I’m feeling:

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Where’s Grace? April 1, 2012

Filed under: Grace Awakening,Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 4:30 pm
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Yeah. I know.

Originally I had posted that Grace Awakening Power would be released in November.

Next I posted it would be out in January.

At the moment the website says “It’ll be out in February,” but it’s now April, so clearly that’s wrong, as well.

What’s the hold up?  Don’t look at me! ;-P  The manuscript has been with the editor since the summer.  I expected it back by the fall so Lintusen could have it out by the end of the year 2011.  Plainly I was wrong.

I don’t think there are that many mistakes in it, but I guess the day job is interfering with the editing job.  I’ve been trying to be patient, since nothing in the publishing world moves quickly or smoothly.  I haven’t been in the business long, but I learned that within the first year.

Many people ask, “WHEN?”  It always makes me a little embarrassed, because I’ve been giving out these dates, and they turn out to be wrong, so I look like I’m an idiot, or uninformed.

I can only say, “Soon!  I hope.”

Keep your fingers crossed with me.  (Though that does make it hard to type).

In the meantime, I hope you’ve been enjoying the snippets of  Book three: Grace Awakening Myths that you can find here on the blog.  I hope it’s a small consolation?

Soooooooooooooooon…..

 

Another snippet of Grace Awakening Myth March 31, 2012

A little snippet from Grace Awakening Myth for your pleasure.  Ben is narrating.  ‘She’ is…well…  You’ll figure it out.

“Please?”
She shook her head. “It’s not our policy to interfere in such a way. The threads have been spun and the destiny is spun into them.”
“New people bring new thread though, don’t they?”
“Of course. Oh. Your thread, do you mean?”
I nodded. “Doesn’t it make me an important thread in her life?”
“Your thread is woven quite tightly into her tapestry so far,  true.  A thread can be continuous within a life. It doesn’t have to bring anything positive, though.”
“I’m positive.” I stared at her doubtful expression. “I’m positive I’m positive!”
She rolled her eye.
“You have no way of knowing that. You don’t know who she would have been without you.”
I stared at her. Better without me? How could Grace be better without me? What did she know about who Grace would have been?
“Your thoughts are on your face,” she said matter-of-factly.
I shrugged. My stomach was moiling. Would she have been better if I hadn’t been following her through time. I swallowed. “No.”
She gazed at me, sympathy warming the eye to tenderness. “Your wishing doesn’t make it so.”
“Can you show me?”
She wrinkled her brow. “Do you want me to pull your thread, so you’re removed from her picture?”
“If you pull it, can it go back?”
She shook her head, “No. Once a thread is out, it can’t be reintegrated the same way again.”
“Could it be better than before?”
She smirked. “Ah. Your optimism amazes me.”
“That doesn’t answer the question.”
She shrugged. “We’re artists. We use our skills and tools to create, but we only have the raw materials we’ve been given. The tapestries always reflect the life stories they tell. Some are ugly simply because the life is ugly. Sometimes the tapestry is strangely compelling for all its ugliness.”
I ponder that for a moment. “Wait.” Do you mean me?”
She guffawed. “Oh by Zeus no. Have you seen your thread? No, not you at all. I mean the lives of people like that snarly creep Ivan the Terrible or that miserable, greasy little Hitler.”
I blinked. I’d lost the rest of her words, frozen by her first statement. I whispered, “Can I see my thread?” In several millennia the audacity of requesting such a thing had never occurred to me. Both gods and men generally avoided interaction with the Moirae, their power was great and terrifying. But I was here, now. Clotho was in a pleasant enough mood. I might never have another opportunity like this. I whispered, “Can I see my thread?”
She glanced around, and then, assured of our privacy, she grinned mischievously and held out her empty hand. She rolled her thumb back and forth across her fingers in rapid circles. A line of sparkles shimmered like a trail between thumb and fingers. She rolled her thumb in quickening circles and the sparkles aligned themselves into a glittering opalescent glow. I stared, awestruck. I reached out for the glowing thread. She grinned at me as she dropped the strand into my palm. “This is just a sample, of course. If we cut thread from the actual tapestry…”
“Yeah. I know.” Mortality was held in the scissors her sister Atropos wielded.
I held an end of the thread and raised it to the light. In a milky whiteness blue, orange, green and pink flamed like an aura of hope. “This looks like a positive kind of thread.”
“It’s beautiful, obviously. One of the most beautiful we spin, actually, but beauty isn’t always good. You know Aglaea. And Aphrodite herself, for that matter.”
This was bold talk, but perhaps the old woman was beyond concern for love, and therefore beyond Aphrodite’s power of retribution.
“But…”
“Look, sometimes something this sparkly is a distraction. It detracts or endangers. What if her life requires camouflage? This kind of brightness is going to bring the guns on her.”
“Unless she’s trying to camouflage at the Academy Awards.”
She laughed. “Well, that’s true I suppose.
“Beauty, Radiance, and Joy.” The natures of the Three Graces.
“Yes.”
“They’re glorious threads, aren’t they?”
She shrugged and glanced away.
“You lying witch,” I muttered.
She raised an eyebrow. “That’s not the kind of thing you say to someone you’re trying to convince to give you a favour.”
“I am a positive element in her life.”
“You’re welcome to think so.”
“I am a continuity of love and acceptance, giving her strength,” I said firmly.
She scoffed. “You’re a continous source of pressure and obsession.”
“In a good way.”
She tried to look serious, but she had to stifle a snort of amusement.
“So will you help?”
“Oh, quit looking at me with those mushy, puppy dog eyes.”
“What if I write you a song?”
Her eye lashes fluttered. Perhaps she wasn’t completely out of Aphrodite’s influence after all.”
“Just for me?”
“Well. To keep you in harmony, I suppose I’d better compose a verse for each of your sisters as well.”
She sighed, “I suppose you must,” and gave me the most coquettish look I’d ever seen from a single eyeball. “But my verse will be the best one, aye?”
“Indeed. You will help?”
“All right. Come over by the door, and we’ll discuss the details.” She gripped my hand and pulled me along behind her. She was surprisingly strong, and I was reminded that despite her wizzened appearance, she was not to be trifled with. Her verse would have to be the best.

 

jet lag March 29, 2012

Filed under: Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:13 am
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I sitting here feeling wobbly. My head hurts when I move too quickly, and I’m so tired I can barely move. It’s been almost a week since we stepped onto the plane in London for the journey home, and I still feel like I did the first night when we pulled into the driveway after 24 straight hours of travel: gross.

Normally, I don’t even feel jet lag. I’ve been to Europe six times over the years, and after the first 12 to 15 hour sleep, my clock has reset and I’m fine. So what’s different this time?

Sure, I’m older than my first trip when I was eighteen, but I didn’t react like this last year, so I don’t think that’s it. I’ve pondered all week, and the only thing I can think of is that we had daylight flights this time. Both going and coming we followed the sun. In previous years, I believe most of the flights were over night.

How about you? Do you get jet lag? Is it worse after day flights than it is after night flights? How do you deal with it?

 

toes March 28, 2012

Filed under: Commentary,Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 10:22 am
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My toes travel,
shifting beneath the sheets,
searching for your warm form,
and encounter emptiness.
Where you were
there lingers
a memory of warmth
that leaves me longing,
lonely,
for your return.

 

home March 27, 2012

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 3:21 pm
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While we were travelling this Spring Break, my husband had an epiphany: you can live anywhere. This is old news for exchange students who quickly discover a new meaning for home fairly soon in their exchange year.

It doesn’t take long to feel so comfortable in your new life that you can hardly remember the old. When it’s time to return, you are torn between two worlds. Home is two places.

But really, home isn’t about the place, it’s about the people.

“Home is where the heart is”

the old adage says, and it’s true.

 

space walking March 23, 2012

Filed under: Friendship,Grace Awakening — Shawn L. Bird @ 4:06 pm
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A few days ago I shared with you music from a young Ben, but told you that the character of Ben in the Grace Awakening series isn’t named after him. The genesis of Ben Butler was in a young man I knew as a teen.  Amin Bhatia grew up to be a television and movie composer, and he started early.  When he was barely twenty he won the prestigious Roland International Synthesizer Tape Competition (twice) and was offered a record deal that led to an amazing album called Interstellar Suite.

I’ve discovered it on you tube, so here is a sampler for you.   I can’t tell you how many hours I listened to this record(and the 20 min composition “Images on a Theme of Science Fiction” that pre-dated it) on my 33 1/3 LP!  🙂   You really need to plug in your headphones and close your eyes to hear this properly.  Oh- a note for you musicians- this was done in the early 80s.  Amin created this all using ANALOG technology.  Every track you hear he laid down separately, and every instrument he created himself.  Visit his website, BhatiaMusic.com for more information.

I have the most talented friends, eh?

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Amin’s Interstellar Suite sampler

 

empty March 21, 2012

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:34 am
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What laughter echoes

through empty hallways

mocking joy

mocking always.

What song echoes

through empty places

mocking love

mocking faces.

What words echo

through empty pages

mocking peace

mocking rages.

 

thriving March 19, 2012

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:31 am
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her mother always said the key to a successful marriage was for each spouse to give as much as they thought they possibly could.  And then, to give a little more. Somewhere in that extra giving, in the space created by generosity without score keeping, was the difference between marriages that thrived and those that didn’t.

(Shilpi Somaya Gowda.  Secret Daughter.  p. 261)

I remember debating the nature of marriage with a male friend when I was a teen ager.  My concept reflected Gowda’s quote above, that each partner had to give 100% to the other.  He argued that that sort of thing was impossible, it would destroy the individual.  50/50 he could maybe see, but giving 100% no.

Some thirty plus years after that conversation, considering who has a divorce under his belt and who hasn’t got one under hers, I may have won the argument by default.

Mind you, he was right as well.  It is nearly  impossible to open yourself up to someone else like that.  Trust is a huge thing, and perhaps the more broken you are, or the more you’ve been betrayed, the more difficult it will be to open yourself to trusting so freely. There are often secrets in a marriage, and some are to protect the spouse.  For example, I protect mine from knowing my shoe budget.  He sees the shoes, and he knows he really doesn’t want to know my shoe budget.  ;-p  Those sorts of secrets are by mutual consent, and do no harm.

Mutual respect and attention is the key here.  One partner can’t do all the giving, it needs to be a reciprocal circle, a single entity.  It’s like an element with positive and negative electrons whirling around.  They must be kept in balance for the relationship to flourish.

The giving means receiving as well.  More importantly, it means recognizing what is within the other to give.  The 100% that they have to offer might not include what you are expecting or desiring.  Accepting the other’s offerings gratefully and genuinely is part of power created in the elements of marriage.  You can not grieve for what the other cannot offer, nor can you blame them for it.   You need to celebrate the spouse you have, and allow them to celebrate you.