Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

love token February 14, 2012

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 7:07 pm
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On this Valentine’s Day, I’m thinking about love tokens…

I have a beautiful wedding ring, made for me by Natasha of Armeni Jewelers when they were here in the Shuswap.  It has two nicely sized diamonds, set above 22 little pavé set diamonds.  It’s about a centimetre wide.  Presently, it’s a bit too large, and so I have two small bands on either side to keep it on.  As a result, I have a solid inch of sparkle on my left hand.  (You can see it in this post).  Over the years, on several occasions  students have looked at my hand and gasped, “Wow!  Your husband must really love you!”

Well, of course he does.

However, the ring isn’t any demonstration of that.  Does a poor man love his wife less than a rich man?  Of course not!  When we got married, we were both in university.  We didn’t have a lot of money to spend on wedding paraphernalia.  Our entire wedding budget was $1000- for photographer, flowers, dresses, and reception!  I bought my husband’s ring with the prize money from a short story contest.  I had a nice little ring set, but I’d wanted white gold, and at the time we could only find yellow gold in the jewellery stores.  I didn’t know anything about hiring jewellery designers to custom make rings back then.  Twenty-two years later, there was a little more cash around, and so I designed a ring that is full of symbols: our initials, children and years together.  Natasha enthusiastically embraced the project, and a few weeks later, I had a gorgeous, unique ring.  Hubby had nothing to do with it!  In fact, I’d been wearing it two months before my daughter noticed it while we were sitting down at dinner one evening.  He might never have done so!  Even if he’d been inclined to re-create a ring for me, he wouldn’t know where to begin.

Love isn’t measured by the jewellery on the wife.  Love is measured by the loving heart, the calm demeanour, the comforting embrace, the secure support, and the consistency of years of togetherness.  Whether there is a fancy ring, a plain band, or nothing at all, the commitment is the important thing, renewed day by day.

Still, I don’t mind him getting the credit for the ring.  After all, he does love me a lot.

 

Warrior February 13, 2012

Filed under: Alpha-biography,Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:37 am

Warrior

There are a lot of warriors who fight in all sorts of wars. Sure, there are the traditional kinds of warriors: soldiers battling with guns and tanks, or arrow, swords and shields. There are also those who battle injustice using words: reporters, essayists, comedians, Amnesty International. There are those who fight disease: research scientists, doctors, nurses, labratory technologists, among them. There are those who battle ignorance, like teachers, scientists, philosophers, professors, students. There are those who battle poverty, like Rotary and other philanthropic groups. There are those individuals who battle addictions, loneliness, or mental illness.

Wars are fought on many fronts, and those who fight are warriors and worthy of respect for their efforts to conquer the evil that they have been called upon to fight.

 

another snippet February 12, 2012

Filed under: Grace Awakening,Grace Awakening Myth — Shawn L. Bird @ 8:41 pm
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from Grace Awakening Myth.  This is part of the J-Roy and Misty sub-plot.
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I have to do what?” Paul asked, mouth agape.
“Come on man. You know you’ve always wanted to.”
“I wanted to date Georgia. I have definitely not wanted to take dance.”
“You’ll have fun. You’ll see Georgia every day.”
He sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’ll think about it.”
“Think about Georgia, wrapped in your arms, swaying to a slow dance, smiling up at you.”
Paul’s eyes glazed over and a sappy grin oozed across his face.  He stood there frozen.
I waited for a minute or two before I called him back from the vision. “Paul? Yo! Paul!”
“Hmm? Oh. Right.”
“So you’ll do it?”
He sighed again. “I’ll make an appointment with a counsellor.”
“Great.”
“Wait, Ben. I just thought of something.”
“What?”
“Tanis isn’t in that class, is she?”
“Tanis?” I said innocently.
“You know. Tanis the Terrible. My ex-girlfriend? The one who promised to remove my testicles and serve them pickled as an hors d’oeuvre at the next Grad parent meeting?”
“Oh, right. That Tanis.”
“Make sure she’s not in the class.” He shifted a little, crossing his legs protectively. “She would not appreciate watching me practise my moves on Georgia.”
“Probably not,” I agreed. “If she is in the class, is there any other option?”
“Like what?”
“What if I can neutralize her?”
“Neutralize.” He smirked. “I like the sound of that. Sure. Neutralizing her will be fine as well.” He shut his locker and chuckled as he turned to go, muttering, “Neutralize her, Captain!”

 

What I make February 11, 2012

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 8:36 pm
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For my colleagues…
Yay us!
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an Indian wedding February 10, 2012

Filed under: Commentary,Grace Awakening — Shawn L. Bird @ 7:07 pm
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I have a rather fond spot for India.  There is family history here.  My mother has a Sanskrit name.  She was named after her aunt, who in turn was named after a maharani who was a family friend of my great-grandmother.   There is a collection of Hindu god figures which they brought from Madras, (called Chennai since 1996) still in the family.

My great-grandparents lived in the India of the British Raj. They were with the Salvation Army. William Eva, following SA protocol, took the local name “Seenavasagam.” He arrived in India August 29, 1887. Jane Saxby (who took the name “Arulai”) arrived December 26, 1890. They were married on  Wednesday, March 25, 1891. The Salvation Army newsletter, “The Indian War Cry” of April 13,1891 relates the following:
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“On Wednesday evening a very important event in the lives of two officers of the Tamil Division was reached–a wedding; when Capt. Seenavagam, Financial Special, took Lieut. Arulai for his “perpetual companion in the war.”
“The actual ceremony was preceded by an officers’ council, the wedding feast, and the march.
It is hardly necessary to say that the marriage-feast was interesting. Of course it was. Tbe major was present and after the feast called uopon both maried and single officers to speak. Lieut. Chellaya Pillay said: “I was speaking to a high churchman about this wedding and he thought it was very inappropriate for such a joyous celebration as a wedding to take place in Holy Week. I assured him that we Salvationists look upon a wedding ceremony as a very holy thing, and that Holy Week was therefore a very seasonable time to perform it.” This was the feeling that ran through the day’s doing–we believe everything was done “for God.””

The full page article carries on for a bit, describing a procession through the city, provides lyrics to songs sung, how much money  was collected, and explains how great-grandpa Seenavasagam accompanied the music on his concertina.  (A small accordion like instrument).  I am ever thankful to the Salvation Army archivist Gordon Taylor who managed to find this prize for me.  How many of us get such a clear description of their great-grandparents’ wedding day?  If you noticed the wedding was scarcely three months after Jane’s arrival and were thinking William was a fast worker, as I did initially, you may be relieved to know that I discovered that William had been posted in Stockport prior to his departure for India.  Jane was from Stockport.  That seemed unlikely to be a coincidence.

I think I looked a little like Great-Grandma Jane in her youth, and I was also married on a Wednesday.

Stay tuned to Grace Awakening Power for some developments which reflect this family history…

 

My tribute February 9, 2012

Filed under: Friendship,Poetry,Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:30 am

I wrote a lot of poetry as a teen, to sort out my feelings about a variety of things, but usually about a boy (the particular musical boy, my obsession toward whom was the beginnings of Grace Awakening, in fact).  For his 20th birthday I gave him a book of my poetry (about him) all done in calligraphy.  At the end there was extra space, and so I created a rambling poem to fill 3 or 4 pages.

To celebrate his 21st birthday, I had another musical friend compose the music and adapt that rambly poem into a song.  During graduation weekend, on one rather emotional Saturday afternoon, after a swim in her pool, we performed for him (I had the descant part which I’ve essentially forgotten), she sang the melody and played the piano).

I find myself singing this song now and then, and it is strange to think that there are only three people on the planet who’ve ever heard this song, and I suspect of the three of us, I’m the only one who still knows any of  the words and the music, since that performance is now  far away in the murky mists of the past.

I could sing this for you, but you’d probably prefer it if I didn’t.  I assure you that it’s quite lovely though, and I’m thankful to the talented Catherine Novak Schulmann for her efforts to take my poetry and turn it into a very meaningful moment of music, lo those many years ago.

Over the years, I’m sure I’ve mis-remembered bits and re-constructed others.  Somewhere there might be a single cassette tape recording of it, but I doubt it.  That means there’s no way to check if I’m wrong, but this is the way I remember it:

In my small way, I have tried to capture
The many facets that I know are you
And in doing so, to discover myself
And the boy with whom I grew.

Beyond the images, we conceived of each other
Honestly, fictiously, subconsciously
What me mean to each other
Beyond our concept of love (whatever it may be)
`til we accept the facets ingrained in you and me.

When I say I love you I say it with my heart
`cause this feeling is not fleeting, untried, or new
And even when I’m angry
Or when I’m crying and lonely
That doesn’t weaken my trust or my belief in you.

For you have always made me feel important enough
To care for, to share with and be there for
When times got tough
And I thank you for your friendship
I’ll thank you `til the end
It’s a joy and a blessing, that you should be my friend.

You have given me many gifts
Your friendship, music,  and love
And these are gifts I’ll cherish for all time.
I thank you for giving me the greatest gift I’ve ever known
And this is my tribute.

♥

♥

Submitted for Poetry picnic on the theme of song, poetry, and art.   http://gooseberrygoespoetic.blogspot.ca/2012/04/poetry-picnic-week-29-art-music-and.html   If you’re here from the Gooseberry Garden, please leave a link to your poem in any comment you leave!

 

global warming? February 8, 2012

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 10:17 am
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It is rather ironic that ‘global warming’ is the likely cause behind the deep freeze causing mayhem in Eastern Europe these days.

I suppose that the more accurate term would be “Global climate change” because changing it definitely is.

So what are we going to do about it?  Solar panels, geo-thermal heat, and cisterns are all simple enough to add into a building project.  Why can’t all of our construction be energy self-sufficient?  If they can’t quite all, can enough be done to at least make them significantly self-sufficient?  I think it’s worth the effort, and we certainly have the technology, if we are just willing to use it.  Big business is not more important than global survival,  no matter what they think.

 

Xandros February 7, 2012

Filed under: Alpha-biography,Grace Awakening,Mythology — Shawn L. Bird @ 3:52 pm
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Xandros.

Alexandros of Macedonia aka Alexander the Great. Warrior. Emperor.
What we know of him from history reflects his excellent understanding of the strategies of war, his passionate nature, the strength of his character, his knowledge of power and how to manipulate it, his charisma.
How to translate that for a modern audience in a way that makes him an entertaining character, but is somewhat true to history? The thing about writing is, that we can re-interpret historical truth. We can manipulate facts into fantasy, and so we do.
My Xandros likely bears little resemblance to the historical figure, whom I imagine was actually much more brutal than my version. Mine is full of passion and dedication to his task, but does so with humour. He does know how to manipulate and intimidate, and uses those skills on the other men, in particular. It’s a worthy ability.
I think the real Alexandros had a dark spirit. According to Annabel Lyon’s research for her novel The Golden Mean, bred from birth to his role, blooded at an early age, it is likely Alexandros spent most of his life in a state of Post-traumatic Stress. If not, he was psychopathic or sadistic. Considering he was adored by his men, I think that is unlikely.

I’ve seen PTSD up close over the years.  It is a debilitating condition that can make emotions volatile.  Power battles insecurity.  Fear battles rage.  On the surface, a vision of self-control must be observed by all.  It reveals a deeply conflicted character, a frail human who is never safe to reveal his frailty.

When you know there is a tender heart beneath the bristling exterior, you can try to reach it.  I hope the Xandros that I’ve written shows something of this dichotomy.  Can the reader feel his heart beneath his bravado?  Can you?

 

the long process February 5, 2012

Filed under: OUTLANDERishness,Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 2:13 am
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Things are changing in publishing, as e-publishing, indy-publishing and self-publishing are gaining popularity.  It is interesting to see exactly why.

Diana Gabaldon has a recent blog entry about her latest projects.  It includes are very thorough explanation of the long process of having a book published in the traditional manner.

The workings of a small indy-press like Lintusen are much simpler, because fewer people and projects are involved. When everyone is paid on percent of royalties, they’re all keen to get the work out as promptly as possible. When only one or two projects are in progress at any one time, the process can be streamlined.  All the same things Gabaldon mentions do happen though, just much more efficiently than with a huge corporate publisher.

Editing is a long, long process.  It makes me laugh at times.  When my students are sure they’re done a composition because they’ve read it through once, I can’t help but smirk and tell them what the editing process is really like!

Thanks  to my amazing editor, Vikki for her skill!  (She even corrects my Facebook slips! lol)

 

Young love February 2, 2012

Filed under: Alpha-biography,Pondering,Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 1:44 pm
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This is the second entry in a  section called an “Alpha-biography.”  The exercise is to work through the alphabet, commenting on a word that connects somehow to your world.  My students are doing this in English 9 this semester, and I am modelling it by creating my own alpha-biography.  For myself, I will be focusing on how I am interpreting, synthesizing and contemplating the Greek/Roman gods as I’ve been exploring them in the process of crafting the Grace Awakening series.  (I’m working backwards, so that in the blog they’ll eventually appear A-Z instead of Z-A, as they end up ordered by time).

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Young Love:

Sometimes I feel like young love coloured my entire world. I am not alone. I speak to a lot of women who are very nostalgic about the first person to whom they opened their heart. Some had negative experiences, I suppose, but I seem to meet a lot of people whose first love set them on a course of self-respect and happiness. I hope that means the negative experiences are fewer than the positive ones. Perhaps it’s just that with the span of years, one begins to find the positives, even if they hadn’t been noted previously?

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I think a good young love is one that remains a fond memory throughout your life. If you take the issues and troubles, and learn from them, future relationships can be stronger.  It can become a fuel for creative endeavours, like perhaps a novel series…

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Nostalgia can be a snare though, and if you build up a young love into impossible heights, a current love that must be worked around children, mortgage and bills, can seem as if it can’t measure up. Sometimes we idealize romance from the time when we didn’t have responsibilities, and forget that maturity requires change.

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There is nothing like the intensity of a new love, young or old. Awakening passions make everyone young when they’re first in love.  I remember giggling phone calls from a senior lady, a widow, soon after she accepted a marriage proposal.  Her giddy joy was no less than the girls in the college dorm.  Love is a happy thing, whenever it occurs, but the small space in our hearts that is occupied by that first love remains through the years, forever young and precious.