It was woven
like light
dappling between the leaves
of our maple tree,
your voice, soft in memory,
searching for the heart of me.
It was woven
like lithe
subtleties between the grease
of our maigre feast,
your voice, lost in murmurings
purging forth our history.
It was woven
like life
sampling between the griefs
of our marble stele
your voice, wafts in every
yearning it exhorts of me.
.
.
I may be stretching your vocabulary with this one! Here’s some help:
maigre- religious diet without the flesh or juice of animals
stele- pillar, marker, tombstone (pron. like STEEL-y)
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It is beautiful. Your play with words is quite exquisite. It is emotive, while it tingles the imagination at the same time.
Thanks.
I have never seen anyone else play with this kind of parallel stanza before, but this is the second one I’ve written.
The other one is here: https://shawnbird.com/2011/08/09/okanagan-mountain-fire-evacuation-august-2003/
I think today’s is stronger.
Bloody hell! I was so enamoured by your words that I didn’t notice the uniform structure of your verses. Maybe, this uniformity is the reason the words sing with each other in perfect harmony. I’ve read the second one. It’s beautiful too. I can’t make up my mind which one’s better, though.
lol Thanks
This was great.
Thank you, Stuart.
If it is a maigre feast, how would there be grease? I know- picky, picky!
EXACTLY!
Actually one of my favorite things to do is make up my own definitions for words I don’t know. But your definitions are nice too!
lol That can add some entertainment!