She slashed him.
.
Pain scratched and yowled around his brain,
longing for palliation.
He saw compassion and affection in your eyes
wrapped his hands across your neck and
in the explosion of agonized ecstasy,
you choked down his hurt.
.
She twitched her fingers.
.
With his backward gaze,
he saw anguish curling lithely behind your eyes.
You saw his pitying relief, even as his pain
purred so loudly in your head
it blocked the words
he should have said.
.
.
.
This one is for Amber
I dream of easy affection
when I can celebrate you
without you analyzing my motives
and finding me lacking.
I dream of easy affection
when I can trust you
not to rip apart my offerings
with cruel and callous doubts.
I dream of easy affection
when you can happily accept
tthe best I had whether or not it
was good enough for you.
I dream of easy affection
but some days it seems
like my hopes bring me
a lot of pain
for nothing.
.
.
Sometimes it is so much easier to close up the heart, when you are constantly misunderstood, rejected, and ignored by those who should love and respect you.
“It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.”
-Agatha Christie
This quote came through my newsfeed the other day, just as I was working on a scene in Grace Awakening Myth, when Grace is appearing quite ridiculous, and Ben is thinking how paralyzingly adorable she is to him. If you’ve missed it, the third and fourth books of Grace Awakening tell the same story as the first and second, only from Ben’s point of view. Because he is spending a lot of time in the mythical realm, it is quite a different story, and it explains a lot of the mysteries in Grace Awakening Dreams.
As you remember from Awakening Dreams, Grace spends a lot of time falling apart in front of Ben, while he smirks at her. Those are the moments he is finding her particularly adorable. This happens a lot in the first half of the book, of course.
I love those nerdy moments that happen in my household, that make me flood with affection for the nerdy people I love.
How about you? Are you frequently stricken with affection as you observe the ridiculous in action?
Shawn L. Bird 