When Brianna asked why the Brits have such horrible toilet paper,
“Hearts of oak are our men,” Roger intoned, “stainless steel are their bums. It builds the national character.”
Diana Gabaldon in
Dragonfly in Amber
The government is loudly raving
school districts must search for savings!
As they replaced all our paper dispensers
with giant boxes, our sphinxters grew tenser
The paper that’s extruded, (please trust this fact)
is a complete and absolute pain on the ass.
We’ve had to get tougher as the years go by
but this toilet paper, with its single thick, crispy ply,
is taking it a step too far. If *Christie’s contract wasn’t enough,
You’re scraping us raw. Yeah. These days teaching is rough.
The government doesn’t seem to register
we don’t need to have stronger character!
.
true story 
* Christie Clark is the current Premier of BC, and former Minister of Education. Teachers dislike her for her destruction and defunding of education in BC.
Shawn L. Bird 
Ouch!
Indeed!
Well, at least no-one’s going to be stealing it!
Now that’s the truth!
😂 Even us British have given up on the harsh loo roll!
lol
Just before the quote above, this selection of Diana’s book discussed the stamp on the loo paper at the museum reading “Property of the British Government” (or whatever it says precisely “Government Issue” perhaps?) and when I read that I had a flashback to laughing at pull down sheets with blue inked stamps on them at the Victoria and Albert Museum in the 80s. I’m much relieved to hear that things have improved! 🙂
Don’t be a scraper.
Use your own, and ditch the sandpaper.
Yes, I’m pondering doing just this! Next time we buy the good stuff for home, I’m sneaking a roll to work! (and stashing it in a cupboard in some kind of camouflage).