Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

poem- surprise November 6, 2015

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 2:30 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

You cannot make me do this work!

This class is dumb and you’re a jerk.

I will not hand in a single paper

You cannot make me do it later.

Hey, our report cards have arrived

HE FAILED ME? (insert dramatic sighs)

I hate this school!  Look at this report, see-

how all the teachers clearly hate me!

Don’t tell me that they can’t give credit

unless there’s work for them to edit.

Don’t tell me if I don’t show what I can do

then they have nothing to give them a clue.

None of this is my fault, you shrew!

I’m quitting school, so screw each and every one of you!


(This has terrible scansion.  I apologize)


25 Responses to “poem- surprise”

  1. Jim Stewart Says:

    I did poorly, grade-wise, my last two years of high school. But I understood that it was my choice. I didn’t blame the school of the teachers. I wanted to write and play guitar, so I did.

    • And in my school, I could have set you up with an Independent Directed Study and given you credit for both! (Providing you didn’t want to be in Mr. Pickup’s Guitar class, or my Creative Writing class). We’re a school of only 120 student grade 8-12, but we offer an amazing amount of opportunity for our kids!

  2. moonskittles Says:

    If my student would know how to use “shrew” in a sentence, for sure they will get some credit from me 🙂

  3. 50djohnson Says:

    I was an English teacher for 30 years… I love it!!!

    • 🙂
      It’s astonishing how a subset of students fail to make the connection between lack of production and lack of grade! Despite reminders, warnings, and nagging, it is still someone else’s fault if they don’t achieve. We sometimes say, “We should not care more about your success than you do!” The joy of teenagers. They usually figure it out sometime during grade 10, but some wait until they receive word that they’re not going to graduate until the sit up and take notice.

  4. Great poem! As a college professor I sometimes operate under the delusion that students are in college because 1) they want to be or 2) the see a positive outcome if they pursue their degree. Today I had student meetings to review their progress, discuss paper revisions, etc…I had one young lady who had missed several classes and had failed two hand in 1/3 of her assignments ask, “What do you mean I am failing? I always got an A or B in English in high school.” Then it became all drama. So, even at the college level, it can still be interesting. Again, loved the poem!

  5. DeniseBalog Says:

    Love the poem. Hate the sad truth of it. Starts in Elementary, but more from the parents SHOCK when progress reports begin to show to much ball games, late nights, and concession stand food for healthy school lifestyle. Complain, “the teacher’s fault!” Always, I repeat, always someone else fault little Johnny can’t read: ( Highly respect teacher’s and what they do! I see and “hear” all this from the Office view… So sad, “Why do we have to come to parent/teacher conferences.. There’s a game tonight!!” Good poem and point Shawn ..sorry for my “rant”, I guess you could call me a ” shrew” too:)

    • Parental support is so important, and it has to be real support with a healthy dose of skepticism. Modeling positive, real life reading and math experiences at home is important, but so is modeling healthy lifestyles. When the kids get to high school, not believing everything they text home would be good, too, because a lot drama erupts because of parents coming to the ‘rescue’ of their oppressed babies when their kid is actually the one in the wrong. (Like the kid picks a fight, and howls when it comes back at her). So much drama when responsibility and consideration are usually the keys to success.

  6. I had an adult English student who said as much, and got his boss to cut me loose. Korean society; loss of face, and all that.

  7. owen-t Says:

    Thanks for the apology – do you usually rely on meter in your poetry or is context more important?

  8. owen-t Says:

    so how would you rate it compared to your metrical poetry?

    • It’s a bit of a throw-away poem. If I figured it was of lasting value I’d tidy it up, but it’s more of a rant than anything I’ll save for a future anthology or similar.

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