Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

haiku storm August 31, 2015

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 11:09 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

rippling waves

sparkling with emerald, peridot, citrine

storm tossed tree.

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10 Responses to “haiku storm”

  1. Melody J Haislip Says:

    Lovely. I tried Haiku once, but I didn’t get the structure quite right. https://pacificmelody.wordpress.com/2013/11/08/evidence/

    • I see. We mess with the syllable count in English, but three lines is the max. Your problem is easily solved by melding lines 3 and 4: “on the pristine snow.” Using preposition ‘on’ implies it’s on the surface, so you don’t need to say that. Your image remains just as powerful. The specificity of the ‘three drops of blood’ is chilling. It’s an excellent effort!

  2. How delightful would it be, if the ocean were to cast pearls, and other gems, upon the beach!

    • Indeed.
      This was from watching from my porch swing as this huge deciduous tree down the way was rippling in this crazy wind storm. It was sparkling and rippling like the lake sparkles and ripples. And so! A poem! Tree as water.

  3. Cheryl-Lynn Says:

    THat IS some storm!! citrine…love it!!


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