I see. We mess with the syllable count in English, but three lines is the max. Your problem is easily solved by melding lines 3 and 4: “on the pristine snow.” Using preposition ‘on’ implies it’s on the surface, so you don’t need to say that. Your image remains just as powerful. The specificity of the ‘three drops of blood’ is chilling. It’s an excellent effort!
Indeed.
This was from watching from my porch swing as this huge deciduous tree down the way was rippling in this crazy wind storm. It was sparkling and rippling like the lake sparkles and ripples. And so! A poem! Tree as water.
RT @BobRBogle: Accordion to Wikipedia, June is National Accordion Awareness Month. Plan accordionly. (As if anyone could be casually or acc… 4 days ago
Lovely. I tried Haiku once, but I didn’t get the structure quite right. https://pacificmelody.wordpress.com/2013/11/08/evidence/
I see. We mess with the syllable count in English, but three lines is the max. Your problem is easily solved by melding lines 3 and 4: “on the pristine snow.” Using preposition ‘on’ implies it’s on the surface, so you don’t need to say that. Your image remains just as powerful. The specificity of the ‘three drops of blood’ is chilling. It’s an excellent effort!
How delightful would it be, if the ocean were to cast pearls, and other gems, upon the beach!
Indeed.
This was from watching from my porch swing as this huge deciduous tree down the way was rippling in this crazy wind storm. It was sparkling and rippling like the lake sparkles and ripples. And so! A poem! Tree as water.
Amazing Shawn!
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.
THat IS some storm!! citrine…love it!!
Little bit of yellow/green flashing in the light. 🙂
I love how poets have each a special style to their haiku and tanka…btw, I posted one last week inspired by a haiku from your book https://cheryllynnroberts.wordpress.com/2015/08/28/my-river-haiga/
I am so incredibly honoured. Thank you Cheryl-Lynn.