haiku storm

haiku storm August 31, 2015

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 11:09 am
Tags: haiku, metaphor, poem, poetry, storm, summer, tree

rippling waves

sparkling with emerald, peridot, citrine

storm tossed tree.

Comments (10)

10 Responses to “haiku storm”

Melody J Haislip Says:
August 31, 2015 at 11:40 am
Lovely. I tried Haiku once, but I didn’t get the structure quite right. https://pacificmelody.wordpress.com/2013/11/08/evidence/

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- Shawn L. Bird Says:
  August 31, 2015 at 12:50 pm
  I see. We mess with the syllable count in English, but three lines is the max. Your problem is easily solved by melding lines 3 and 4: “on the pristine snow.” Using preposition ‘on’ implies it’s on the surface, so you don’t need to say that. Your image remains just as powerful. The specificity of the ‘three drops of blood’ is chilling. It’s an excellent effort!
  
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righteousbruin9 Says:
August 31, 2015 at 1:54 pm
How delightful would it be, if the ocean were to cast pearls, and other gems, upon the beach!

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- Shawn L. Bird Says:
  August 31, 2015 at 3:20 pm
  Indeed.
  This was from watching from my porch swing as this huge deciduous tree down the way was rippling in this crazy wind storm. It was sparkling and rippling like the lake sparkles and ripples. And so! A poem! Tree as water.
  
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jburns58 Says:
August 31, 2015 at 2:16 pm
Amazing Shawn!

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- Shawn L. Bird Says:
  August 31, 2015 at 3:20 pm
  Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.
  
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Cheryl-Lynn Says:
August 31, 2015 at 3:37 pm
THat IS some storm!! citrine…love it!!

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- Shawn L. Bird Says:
  August 31, 2015 at 3:59 pm
  Little bit of yellow/green flashing in the light. 🙂
  
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  - Cheryl-Lynn Says:
    August 31, 2015 at 4:16 pm
    I love how poets have each a special style to their haiku and tanka…btw, I posted one last week inspired by a haiku from your book https://cheryllynnroberts.wordpress.com/2015/08/28/my-river-haiga/
  - Shawn L. Bird Says:
    August 31, 2015 at 9:15 pm
    I am so incredibly honoured. Thank you Cheryl-Lynn.