Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

poem- crap! March 27, 2014

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 4:21 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

T’is the season

snow is melting

that’s the reason

things are smelling

Get the shovel

bag all  the crap

shoulder muscles

ache while it splats

into the bag

Excrement is

winter’s last joke:

dog- doo dizzy

I want to choke!


Home from vacation and duty calls!  Yuck.  The back yard melt reveals  a lot of mess.  Gross.




22 Responses to “poem- crap!”

  1. As I do not live a world like yours it never occurred to me that such a situation would arise but I can understand it would. Poor you, lucky me. I wrote an ‘Ode to Crap’ not so long ago, it was an interesting exercise.

  2. Tzamion Says:

    hahaha, sorry for you. I used to have a Doberman that didn’t like to go far from the house all winter so I dealt with that. In the summer it was hard to keep him in the 2 acre yard tho lol. Cute poem

  3. My 16 year old dog has terrible gas and likes to sleep at my feet when I’m at my computer… crap is a very unpleasant, powerful aroma 😦

    • Luckily, canine flatulance is not much of an issue. I know for some breeds it’s particularly bad!

      • He didn’t have this problem when he was younger, it’s just been this past six months or so, I think because he’s getting so old. My grandmother had the same problem after Taco Bell when I would go to her farm for a couple weeks a summer, when we’d go into town for a meal. Car rides home with her and my cousin afterwords, after getting loaded on Mountain Dew, were hilarious. I hope I don’t have this problem someday. I have a can of chili almost every day over half a bag of seasoned fries, and I’m immune to effects of the magical fruit for now at least… if I keep eating this way I may not have to worry about it though. I’m super skinny though, so I am in denial and tell myself I have the metabolism and immune system of Wolverine from the X-Men, and so far it’s been working for a couple years. I have nutritional bloodwork done once a year because I’m on Bipolar meds that are supposed to have the bad side effects of slowing your metabolism and increasing your chances of getting diabetes, but last year my doctor said I was as strong as a horse after getting the results back from the lab, and a couple weeks ago, when he got them back for this year, he said everything was normal. I asked him, surprised, about some of the things tested, and he said I must be eating enough meat and vegetables to be so healthy… Psychiatrists probably shouldn’t feed the invincible fantasies of Bipolar people, which is actually a symptom of Bipolar people having manic relapses. I am being facetious of course, I am grounded in reality enough to not think I have superhuman powers, but at the same time, it is curious that my metabolism is still so high my ribs are visible in spite of having over 200% of my daily recommend saturated fat and sodium values every day for years now, and how my often eating 3 or more bags of butter popcorn a day pushes my daily calorie count over the 2,000 daily recommended value… I’m probably not superhuman though, I’m probably just under a gypsy curse like from Stephen King’s Thinner novel, or secretly a werewolf in denial, or some other fantastical explanation I could make up like I do to explain things in life that I don’t understand. I just don’t want to end up with canine flatulence like my dog when I get old….

  4. Catherine Johnson Says:

    I know that world well!

  5. Oh how I dont miss those days!!!

  6. syl65 Says:

    Sorry, yuck! I hear winter laughing now.

  7. Too funny! Well, we don’t have the snow, but with the rain, I try to pick it up often, otherwise…well, you know! 🙂

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