Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

poem-exploding you March 4, 2014

Filed under: Poetry,Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 5:20 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Oh, belligerent woman

at the gas station.

You know you are wrong.

You see the arrows.

Instead of backing up

You drive forward,

and make obnoxious remarks.

The other ten of us

can follow directions.

One of these things is not

like the others.

You’re embarrassed.

I get that.

So apologize, and back up.

Don’t yell at me.

I’m going the right way.

I am an author, though.

So while you rant,

I have the satisfaction

of seeing the bomb

the terrorists have set

that you accidentally trigger

by going the wrong way.

As your car explodes in a fiery


the ten cars that are secure

in our rule following

are protected by our bubble of sanctity.

We smile contentedly

knowing karma is at work,

as the litter of your dissatisfied life

rains from the sky,

bouncing off of us and

our aligned automobiles.

As you back out,

muttering a chastened,


I am glad that imagination

trumps aggravation

every time.



It’s a popular saying, “Don’t mess with authors. Β They will put you in their novels, and kill you.” Β Today, I discovered the poetic equivalent. πŸ˜‰


131 Responses to “poem-exploding you”

  1. gilhooley52 Says:

    This is awesome!

  2. fairydisenchantment Says:

    Shawn, you have just made a day of petty irritations evaporate like soapy, greasy little karmic bubbles. Thank you.

  3. michael Says:

    imagining it, writing it is safer, more legal, BUT … πŸ™‚

  4. wbdeejay Says:

    Oh the power of imagination!

  5. Brenda Says:

    Wonderful, laughing here. I’m sure she wasn’t even harmed by her car exploding. I’m sure she learned her lesson. I love the quote at the end.

  6. she must have been one of her “moods” πŸ™‚

  7. Damn Shawn!! Did you just go Madea on her a$$!! LOL!! Shoot girl. Tyler Perry/Madea has nothing on you!! You good though. Imagination is a safety valve. Has kept me from snatching folks up and slapping them silly just to see if some sense gets knocked into their thick heads. ROTFL!!

  8. toad2014 Says:

    Imagination of child is a golden rule!

  9. Fantastic! What a wonderful way to release some aggravation–art!

  10. Wow, just wow! That was a very captivating moment that just kept getting deeper. You are truly blessed… I applaude you.

  11. […] poem-exploding you. […]

  12. She must be related to Belligerent Woman in the Carpool Line at School. I must remember this; imagining her blowing up should help my blood pressure. (Nicely done, by the way!)

  13. xoxosanaz90210 Says:

    Would it not be cool if our aggravation-induced imagination was able to scare the aggravator? A highly useful superpower to have. Btw, this is one of my favourite poems of yours, love “litter of your dissatisfied life rains from the sky”.

    • I suspect that my eyes reflect when my head is forming such images, because I have had class rooms grow suddenly silent and all eyes drop to their desk, focused on whatever task was previously being ignored… Not that I commonly visualize exploding class rooms. ((cough))

      • xoxosanaz90210 Says:

        Haha I suppose not, or going by your eyes, you would have students/people looking at the ground while talking to you.

  14. Jim Zee Says:

    I just yell ‘karate’ and bifurcate their exhaust pipes.

  15. emmalmoore Says:

    Love your poem above and blog about seeing your friends after 20 years. I will be back to read more when time permits. Thanks for visiting my blog. Blessings.

  16. Scott Says:

    This is great stuff, Shawn. Thanks so much for sharing.

  17. Karin Wiberg Says:

    That made me chuckle. πŸ™‚

  18. Rasma Haidri Says:

    The woman reminds me of someone I know who shall remain unnamed, ahem. Thanks for stopping by Whole in the Head and liking my poem. I look forward to reading more of yours. Happy Poetry Month!

  19. susanissima Says:

    Masterful! So glad you wrote this one!

  20. Winston Says:

    Love it! I’ve invoked the writer love power before πŸ™‚

  21. skykinwrite Says:

    Had a realization in traffic once. I was impatient and irritated. Thought, If I were filthy rich, I would have endless patience, knowing these poor blighters all around me had to stampede like hungry bison for the grass on this new meadow. Then it occurred to me I did not need to be rich to have the attitude. I immediately assumed the patience and it has lasted until this day.

  22. G J Donnelly Says:

    Hi Shawn!

    Wicked verse! I nearly got into an accident while trying to enter my grocery store’s parking lot and was glared and yelled at by a guy in a truck even though I had right of way. Some people are just animals I guess. But in this poem you have a lot of fun as you administer karmic justice!

    Thank you for reading my poems! I’m so glad you enjoyed them! I write a lot on my blog but it’s hard to get a following. I’m grateful you took the time to check me out and found something nice in my work.

    G J Donnelly

  23. pi314chron Says:

    Oh! I like this one…a lot! Thanks for the new weapon in my anti-everyone-else arsenal! Now I won’t have to wear out a certain finger that seems to get a lot of use these days! Hilarious but tightly-crafted poem, Shawn!


  24. orgoh Says:

    Love it! Love it! Love it!

  25. Love this poem. Now following!

  26. PastelPoetry Says:

    So agree! Who hasn’t written a boyfriend off a cliff; if he’d only bought the shoes that cost R50 more. Cheap! The list is endless and a wonderful tool to fuel the imagination, yet keep you from handcuffs! πŸ˜€ Enjoyed it, liked the twist!

  27. datsme Says:

    OMG! You are one scary man…but that was hilarious. I wonder if the woman in question ever read it what would her reaction be πŸ˜›

  28. mikupa Says:

    I like a woman when she is wrong
    It means, I can forgive her

    May be then she will love me
    And lean on me in a way, so that
    I can guide her to the right way
    Though I know a woman righted
    Has never looked back at me again
    But this is the only sure way I can
    Erase from memory …
    … someone for whom I long

    I like a woman when she is wrong

  29. Thanks for visiting my blog…I liked this poem, exploding you, very much…Gives us writers so much more power…

  30. Kitt Says:

    Yep, you’re the bomb!

  31. SunBrother Says:

    “I am glad that imagination
    trumps aggravation
    every time.”

    Perfect! “Imagination is our greatest weapon in the way against reality.”

    I love that you managed to turn an event like this into a poem about doing exactly that!

  32. gwpj Says:

    I like it! Makes me smile. πŸ™‚

  33. G J Donnelly Says:

    Hey Shawn,

    That’s a riot. I loeuvre it!

    Thanks again for visiting my blog. You’re soo gooood.

    G J

  34. Lori Lipsky Says:

    What fun. Well done!

  35. I read this several days ago and this poem is still making me laugh. I will smile next time I get fuel because of you.

  36. Nowelle Says:

    I liked the image of a tire or burning debris bouncing off the other cars around her. Anger and rudeness certainly is not a solo trip.

  37. matthewmgn Says:

    She had you peeved for a moment, then you owned her for a lifetime through this poem. How can you not win with keyboard and a screen and a mind that turns every loss to a win. Thanks for the like.

  38. I like your mix of the concrete and abstract, Shawn, esp as you segue into the “I am an author though”. =)

  39. Ampbreia Says:

    And a vindictive imagination it is at that. LOL. I like it.

  40. jasforest Says:

    awesome. nice to see the beat carrying the torch…the words for a 21st century stream, righteous

  41. lacunakittie Says:

    This is the greatest poem! I had a similar thought at a gas station the other day. Also, your hair is freaking awesome.

  42. shatanik06 Says:

    β€œDon’t mess with authors. They will put you in their novels, and kill you.”
    Great lines. Enjoyed the most when I read this last line.

  43. Kelley Rose Says:

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who vents poetic wrath at the traffic. Loved it, made me smile

  44. bernadettep Says:

    There are a few times I have been in this type of situation…lol…I had an old man yelling swear words and giving me the bird, this winter because my car quit at a pump and it wouldn’t start. The look on his face when I gave him the bird back was priceless…. I didn’t think of writing a rant about him though… I just might…thanks for the giggle

  45. gertloveday Says:

    Hi Shawn, this is so much fun! And thanks for following Gert Loveday -Fun With Books which we hope will give you just as much fun.

  46. Oh dear, next time I accidentally go in the out or out the in, I will think of all the authors who are going the right way and are ready to explode me in immortal prose, or worse, in verse! I got stuck in the out lane of a parking structure in the UK (I live in the US) because I didn’t understand the system and thought you paid at the gate on the way out. I had people in line behind me honking their horns and could go neither back nor forwards. I eventually found away around, covered in shame and shaking in fright. One day I will think of a funny way to express that in verse, but not yet, I’m still shaking.
    Great poem!

  47. timothyparkin Says:

    Thanks for reading my poetry yours is cool

  48. akeem54 Says:

    Shawnbird. I agree with you that writer, blogger, author are with roving eyes and mind looking for what to devour and transplant into pages. Thank you for following and the ‘like’

  49. Ha ha, I love it. I have twilight zone story of my own in my head. Saving it for Quentin Tarantino movie. I suppose I should write it & send it to him somehow someway.

    • Doesn’t QT write his own stuff? Why not write it for yourself?

      • He does normally but this is one I’d like him to turn into a movie short & only be anonymously involved, like cash the check (lol). My story is so unique I would be sued for liable. Or something like that.

      • It’s not libel if it’s the truth, or if it’s your perspective, or if you fictionalize it by changing names. Unique is good.

      • Since it not too likely that I will run into QT over be having a Starbuck’s break with him I probably should work on that. Do you ever get several stories in your head at once?

      • I am working on 4 novels at the moment, and have 2 outlines sitting, and 2 novel ideas brewing. Does that answer the question? πŸ˜‰

      • Yes. How do you stay focused? My brain jumps around like a hyperactive 2 yr old

      • Work on whatever is at the front of the brain. When that isn’t moving, switch to something else. Keep it going. Write something every day. Write several things every day.

      • I’ll work on it most the time to come to me in text messages that I send to my cousin

      • I hope Cuz is saving them! πŸ™‚

      • No… we text so much that thwy get wiped out… they still in my head…not as good as my first fantasy telling but still there I think. I have a wild imagination. I wish I could type as fast as I think

      • Typing fast is very useful, that’s true. πŸ˜‰

        Good luck with your assorted projects!

      • Yes, sadly I don’t type any faster than I did when I started at 7. Lol!

      • Sometimes the crowd each other My thoughts that is. Yesterday I was inspired to write why we have poverty & homelessness. I got out 2 paragraphs when a poem took over as I noticed the roses had shriveled & died. Then another & 4 other things since. Still can’t get those thoughts back on that subject. Maybe when I’m tied up doing something else. But you are right I need to work more on writing where my ideas won’t be deleted or lost in a saw of messages. Thank you. My eyes getting heavy. Good night! Thank you for the likes!

  50. namesconnie Says:

    Great way to get your anger out! Good one! Take care. Sincerely, Connie Webb

  51. I love this! And am SO going to employ this technique the next time I unfortunately have the opportunity……………maybe that lady in line at the grocery store…..or the guy who calls me “dear” at work……or the smug public utilities clerk……the possibilities are endless!

  52. poemistic Says:


  53. azzamwok Says:

    Absolutely loved this-the sheer humour of the poem quickly overwhelmed any “fright” one may have felt before reaching the end- nobody messes with the limitless imagination of poets πŸ˜‰

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