I’m a good person!
I don’t cheat
(well, except that test,
but it was an important one, I couldn’t afford to fail!
Oh, and with that girl at the bar that one time when
the wife was out of town, but that was her fault)
I don’t lie
(well, except to my mom, she couldn’t handle knowing
and would raise a fuss).
I don’t steal
(Hey, those pirate book and video sites aren’t stealing,
those folks don’t deserve to be paid for their work!)
I don’t drink too much
(that time doesn’t count, we were celebrating!)
I’m not violent
(you can’t say she didn’t deserve that black eye).
I’m a good person.
I’m just like you, right?
What does ‘good’ mean, anyway?