Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

bad memory December 23, 2011

Filed under: Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 3:15 pm
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The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.

Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 – 1900)

I laughed when I read this.  I can report that it is completely true, as I enjoy books and music for the first time, though I have read them many times previously.  Sometimes I feel like I can’t hold a thought in my head.  It’s not really as bad as all that, but I feel often that memory is like an apple barrel.  The old memories are down deep in the barrel, still there, although perhaps not as pristine as they once were.  The memories on the top of the barrel, however, are balanced a trifle precariously, and are prone to rolling down the pile and off under a counter.

 

Mnemosyne December 20, 2011

Filed under: Mythology — Shawn L. Bird @ 2:01 pm
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I’ve been thinking about memory.  That’s Mnemosyne’s area of responsibility.  My father is in hospital and when we visit, he is spending a lot of time with her.  Stories are told and re-told.  Stories of youth.  Of working days.  Of love.  Of betrayal.  It’s our stories that reveal what is important about us.

Mnemosyne saves the certain moments for us.  Why?  Do you sometimes savour a moment, specifically for the purpose of holding it?  Do you look at a gathering of loved ones, and feel yourself snapping a mental picture that you know will remain with you forever?  It becomes a picture that only you have.  It will alter, too.  You’ll colour it, crumple it, re-imagine it, until the image serves a purpose you want it for.

Is it a catalyst? A purpose?  A dream? An anchor?

Mnemosyne wraps us in the security of our past, and at her best she strengthens and guides us.

Memories can torture and claw though, as well.  They can hold us back in fear as much as push us forward.

We can mire in nostalgia and lose our present when Mnemosyne has too much power in our lives.

 

 

gone, not forgotten September 2, 2011

Filed under: anecdotes,Friendship — Shawn L. Bird @ 11:24 am
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Once upon a time I had a friend who was a middle child.  She was an eldest daughter between a precious son and an adorable daughter.  She was the kind of child who chafed at constriction, who felt injustice and inequality, who was determined to have her own way even if it hurt.

She made some choices that were painful for friends and family alike.  But time wore down the edges, softened attitudes and then life blossomed.  She joyfully awaited the birth of a child.  Like many things with her, it was a high risk endeavour.  She didn’t do things the easy way.  Doctors said they’d ensure the delivery was a safe one.

The child arrived, but the delivery wasn’t safe.   There came baby, blood, coma and after a time of lingering, she left.  A final injustice.

She didn’t get to see her baby grown into an amazing young woman.  She didn’t get to become all she could have been herself.  But she lives on in our memories, and on her birthday, a tear may fall…

Thinking of  her today.