Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

poem- Curse on you, jerk! August 15, 2015

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 11:50 pm
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While I was attending a conference Saturday, some total jerk keyed Sheila the Bug in TWO places!!!  So Sheila (cough) invoked a  curse on the perpetrator…


Curse on you, jerk!


What kind of jerk must you be

to key a car as cute as me?

My adorableness is super-powered

by butterflies and cute pink flowers

Big tough guys have been known to say

“That’s one happy car!” to me on days

when they needed to receive a smile.

Just my presence made them grin a while

But you, you jerk, slice across my paint

and gouge me with your anger taint?

You creep, what did I ever do

to deserve such cutting through?

My words are mild: you jerk, you creep

but know retribution may be deep.

When you attempt to dream,

Angry Bugs will make you scream

as they scrape off your skin

to upholster seats with your leather trim

While you are trying to sleep

You’ll hear Bug horns beep, beep,beep

Then VW exhaust fumes will creep

into your room and poison you

they’ll turn you purple and then blue.

When you are driving on the highway

no passing lanes will go your way.

You’ll constantly be stopped by construction

and innumerable other annoying obstructions.

May you be stuck in traffic jams.

May you fail your driving exams.

May your airbag deploy when you stop at a light.

May your paint job turn that weird foggy white.

For keying cars, you total jerk

I set forever this Auto Curse!


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