quote- babies: possibilities and reality March 16, 2014
My daughter was born on Good Friday, and Easter Sunday found me in the hospital chapel. The pastor was speaking about change. I sat in the back and bawled. I didn’t know exactly why I was crying, but I was overwhelmed with post-partum hormones and the realization that my life would never be the same. This conversation between characters Claire and Jenny reminded me of that time in my life.
“I’ve thought that perhaps that’s why women are so often sad, once the child’s born,” she said meditatively, as though thinking aloud. “Ye think of them while ye talk and you have a knowledge of them as they are inside ye, the way you think they are. And then they’re born, and they’re different—not the way ye thought of them inside at all. And ye love them, o’ course, and get to know them the way they are.. but still, there’s the thought of the child ye once talked to in your heart, and that child is gone. So I think it’s the grievin’ for the child unborn that ye feel, even as ye hold the born one in your arms.” She dipped her bead and kissed her daughter’s downy skull.
“Yes,” I said. “Before…it’s all possibility. It might be a son, or a daughter. A plain child, a bonny one. And then it’s born, and all the things it might have been are gone, because now it is.”
…”And a daughter is born, and the son that she might have been is dead,” she said quietly. “And the bonny lad at your breast has killed the wee lassie ye thought ye carried. And ye weep for what you didn’t know, that’s gone for good, until you know the child you have, and then at last it’s as thought they could never have been other than they are , and ye feel naught but joy in them. But ‘til then, ye weep easy.”
(Diana Gabaldon in Dragonfly in Amber p. 549)
poem- spring? March 15, 2014
Last night
I fell asleep planning
an ensemble:
beige, flowing garments
open shoes
bare skin, no socks.
Spring is here!
Celebrate!
I awoke
to see snowflakes filling the sky
giant two inch diameter
behemoth flakes
mocking my dreams of spring.
Wardrobe re-think.
Boots today.
Again.
Still.
.
poem- mist
Between
Mist kissed mountains,
Subtle gradations of grey
mark lake and sky;
an eagle sails by
in search of spring.
.
poem- I saw March 14, 2014
I saw the sun
dazzling across the water
glinting off your smile
frying through my brain
a laser lighting love.
I saw the cloud
covering across the moon
shadowing the light
wearing darkness like futility
frustration burning.
I see the sun
laughing at the cloud
shimmering through mist
overcoming all
Seeing is believing.
poem- beginning
Remember
city lights
blinking in the lake
your arms wrapped,
us enraptured.
You and I
embracing the mystery
of intimacy,
creating a history,
trusting the future,
facing dreams, and
dreaming of reality
enfolding before us:
Laughter, longing,
lasting love
.
.
.
The anniversary of our engagement is approaching, so here’s a poem in honour of the guy who’s had my back for 60% of my life. Look at how cute we were on that romantic evening! 😉 (Trust me that there are city lights reflected in the lake behind us. I had a pretty crappy camera!)
.
poem- offering March 12, 2014
You bring your words to me
an offering
held in your open palms
like a supplicant.
I meet your fearful eyes
and tell you of your strengths,
coach through your weaknesses,
and encourage your improvement,
as gently as I can.
You reward me with your laughter,
a sound so rare that I am still celebrating
hours later,
so thankful
to be your teacher,
and have the chance to watch
your talent turn you into the
accomplished person
you will be.
poem-waiting in line March 11, 2014
Another car
goes ice dancing
swirling
spinning
from one side of the road to the other
Sending inhabitants flying
in the death spiral.
Stop! Accident scene!
and I must wait
First in line
While 3 ambulances
2 fire trucks
2 marked police cars
4 unmarked police cars
and 2 tow trucks
sort everything out
45 mins late for work
this morning
but thankful
not to be
in one of the ambulances.
I was doing that
ice dance in the same place yesterday.
One moment we are travellers
the next we are dancers
facing a sudden stop
and a different journey.
query-Whatcha workin’ on? March 10, 2014
I seem to get this question a lot, so I thought I’d fill you in on the current Works In Progress.
1. the blog. Every day there’s a little something written just for you here, usually a poem.
2. my agent is currently pitching a YA novella about a teen boy called Kieran and his pregnant sister. While I’m not doing anything with this, people are always asking what’s happening with this book, since it took me a long time to finish!
3. a companion novella about Kieran is completely drafted and ‘resting’
4. a companion novella about a friend of Kieran’s is completely drafted and ‘resting’
5. Book 3 in the Grace Awakening series is completely drafted, but is in need in revision. It is ‘resting’ pending fresh eyes.
6. Book 4 in the Grace Awakening series is mostly drafted, but is in need of revision. It is ‘resting’ as well.
7. I am actively working on a 40k word YA novel about date rape and cyber-bullying.
8. I have outlined a short YA novel about a drama class.
9. Grace Beguiling is sitting in the background ‘brewing.’ This is a prequel about one of Ben and Grace’s past lives together.
10. A novel about Finnish migrants in the Shuswap is also ‘brewing.
11. I have entered a couple of short story contests the last while. Usually I just write something a couple of days before deadline, and hope for the best. I don’t usually win these things, so that’s probably a sign I need to take a different tact! lol
An explanation of terms:
Brewing means I’m thinking about it. I have some ideas and they come and go. Sometimes it means I write out a scene or research something. Very little is on paper in the brewing stage.
Outlining means I’ve planned out the bones of the whole story. This strategy is new to me, and I’m not sure that I like it. I find it spoils some of the fun of writing when I know what’s going to happen! On the other hand, I’m hoping there will be fewer scenes I need to cut because they don’t really fit, nor a need to re-work scenes to make them fit better. Knowing the theme and being able to articulate each characters goals does keep things consistent and the writing focused.
Actively working means I’m writing a first draft, in the case of the current WIP, I’m following an very thorough outline. (See outlining, above)
Draft means a completed first (or possibly second, third, or fourth) version of a novel. They’re always subject to massive amounts of revision. Some people actively write one piece while they’re revising another piece (like Terry Brooks, who writes a new work in the morning and revises the last work in the afternoon). I don’t.
Resting means the piece is finished, but on hiatus. Or at least that I’m done with it for now. Sometimes my wonderful editor has given me a list of revisions or challenging questions that I’m not quite ready to face. If I’m too close in time to a project, it’s a little harder to see it critically, so I give it time while I work on something else. When I come back to it, her questions make perfect sense, and guide me to solutions. Also, it can mean I wrote the draft, and my agent knows about it, and she’ll see if anyone is interested in it, and if so, I’ll polish it up.
And that’s what I’m up to these days! (When I’m not reading or working at my day job, of course).
Shawn L. Bird 