Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

show dog to sheep May 30, 2011

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:01 am
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The spring appears to have come!  Beautiful sunny day today, and OJ was moving slowly.  I decided it was time for the summer transformation.  As I cut into the his thick Continental jacket, I could almost feel steam rising off his back!  So here is the transformation at the half way point, when he looks like Tina Turner:
 

Tina Turner poodle

 and now he’s ready for the summer, but he looks a lot like a sheep.  I left the ‘fleece’ in the picture just because it’s fun to see how much wool comes off!  No sweeping required, it all sticks together; I just pick it all up and and stuff it into a bag.  OJ looks less like a poodle, but he’s a lot cooler.

sheep poodle and fleece
 

CHEESE! May 29, 2011

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:27 am
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Cheesy Write gift basket from Sedo's Old Fashioned Butcher and Deli

Each year at the Shuswap Writers’ Festival they offer a story start for a Cheesy Write that must be deposited in the basket about 28 hours after the opening of registration. The winner is announced at the Storytelling event on Saturday evening. The writing is supposed to be ‘cheezy’ and the prize reflects this.

Tonight Kay Johnson announced, “I’m glad this year the winner of the Cheesy write is actually in attendance to receive the prize. Shawn, come on up!” Yeah!! I won last year, but I was late arriving and so the prize was given to someone else.

This year was a murder mystery start, and the selection had to provide clues and solve the murder. I had a notion of what I wanted to do with it, so I took lots of notes at the Friday night coffee house, and incorporated things we learned about the writers and their stories in my piece.

You know, I got compliments for this doggerel from a Governor General Literary Award winner.  Gotta love Writers’ Festivals!   😉  One wins $25,000; another wins a basket of cheese, but a win is a win.  lol  It’s nice that people got the jokes and had a giggle.

Here it is, for your confusion and/or amusement:

2011 Cheezy Mystery Write:

We hear there’s been a murder and we’re not sure yet whodunit
So let’s consider options and hope that there’ll be some fun yet!
John Pass might take the Higher Ground, so it’s a bit far fetched
To imagine a GG nominee could murder is quite a stretch!
And that eliminates Annabel because she made the GG short list
And also clears GG prize winner, amazing Wendy Phillips.

There’s some suspicious folks among the nudes at Burning Man
So Deanna’s worth some pondering, but first let’s get another scan
Wait! What is that object lying on the boardwalk over there?
Oh my! A tattered playing card of a lady who’s quite bare,
Across her chest’s an invitation to a “Come Naked” pot luck dinner
Taking place on Galiano*, among the family friendly sinners

The sleuths picked up the card and noticed tiny print-
The dead man is a lawyer. “Ah ha!” they shrieked, “A hint!”
Now who would kill a lawyer? They pondered by the lake
Nancy said, “Apparently almost everyone would like to plunge a stake
Into their heartless chests!” There is nothing there to beat
The rhythm like what throbs from Ken Firth’s drumming seat
“That’s it,” they called, “we’ve solved it! The lawyer’s heart was taken
To provide Ken’s powerful rhythm, unless we’re much mistaken!”

* this is actually an error-

The ‘family friendly nudes’ were in Desolation Sound with Grant Lawrence, not on Galiano Island…  Luckily I wasn’t penalized for errata!

 

Maybe May 28, 2011

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:13 am
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I’m just thumbing through my journal (a random collection of drafts, ideas, poems, lecture notes, etc) and discovered this poem:

Maybe
is a dangerous room
in which tolive.
A place to run
when here is too hard,
when now is a naked agony.
Then there is maybe…
maybe him
maybe someday
maybe
(though
probably not).

(2009-1-21)

 

necessity, the mom May 27, 2011

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:51 am
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Topic #137: What invention, as in something not yet invented (jetpack, teleportation ring, time machine) do you most need right now?

The fall that I started Grace Awakening, I also started a high interest low vocab novel I called #8. When Grace took over my life for six months as she told me her 150,000 word story, #8 languished as an outline and one chapter. When Grace was finished, I set to work on #8. I’m aiming for it to be completed at 15,000 words, so it’s a tenth of Grace’s size. You’d think it would have taken a tenth of the time- say eighteen days instead of 180, but no. For all its brevity, #8 has sat with ‘something’ not quite right for almost two years. Every once and awhile I pull it out and add a paragraph here, a chapter there, fine tune a paragraph, crop out a sentence, but the intangible thing has been elusive.
This last week I’ve been reading and thinking about #8. I’ve added half a chapter and decided that I need to crop out the first chapter I wrote for this book (presently it is chapter 2). I realised that I have a beach scene immediately followed by a snow shovelling scene (this is feasible in Calgary, but not in the Shuswap!). Oops. I figured out the biggest area that needs fixing.

As I was drifting off to sleep, one of the minor characters stepped up. She had been in one brief scene in the seventh chapter, but suddenly she had a back story to share that was relevant to the rest of the story. She had been there all along, with the answer to the question, if only I’d been paying attention. I had to be up in a few hours, and I couldn’t afford to get up and write out the scene. I was sure that it would not be lost over night, but I could not shut off the narrative.
It would be so handy for authors to have a brain writing machine. While you sat in a boring meeting, went jogging through the neighborhood, or were drifting off to sleep, your brain writer could dictate the narrative rolling in your thoughts and put it into a file. What a brilliant devise that would be.

 

dear 16 year old me (and you) May 26, 2011

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:01 am
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My father has malignant melanomas.  If you have seen what skin cancer looks like, you will have no difficulty embracing this message. 

slip into the shade

slap on a hat

slop on the sunscreen.

 

I should’ve been… May 25, 2011

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:35 am
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When I consider all the jobs on the planet that I am suited for, I frequently must acknowledge: I should have been a princess.

I definitely wouldn’t want to be a queen, because that’s way too much responsibility, but I’d be a good princess.  I might even be a GREAT princess.   I would love to be taken on tours of factories, museums, stately houses, gardens and the like. I would enjoy listening to music from all sorts of ethnic groups. I would enjoy eating a wide variety of interesting meals, and if I was princess, I wouldn’t have the situation  I experiencedd at the last school lunch when I was holding a wonderful smelling bowl of soup, salivating in anticipation, only to be told, “Oh the soup has got nuts in it!” because if I was a princess, the caterers wouldn’t use foods I’m allergic to!

I love travelling and learning languages, so I would take advantage of my princess status to study abroad to learn to speak languages I’m missing like German, Japanese, and Chinese.  I’d like to improve my Spanish and Italian to fluency as well.  I would be able to take lessons on international history and political science which I always found quite intriguing.  I would happily support the arts in a wide variety of forms. I would also be happy to support designers and to model new clothes, shoes and hats for many occasions, and then to re-combine them in interesting ways so they didn’t look exactly the same at future events.  (That’s my frugal nature coming out).

Since I am a terrible housekeeper, I would be delighted to have a household staff to look after the mundane tasks, and it’d be fantastic to have a personal secretary to ensure I didn’t forget the day’s appointments. I would not resent them or try to do their jobs. I would be appreciative of their efforts.  I would be proud to support the local economy and I would be a great employer if I was a princess.

Of course, there’d be some challenges as well. The paparazzi would be a problem. I am not photogenic all the time, so there would be a lot of nasty photos to out-balance the absolutely adorable ones.  I also tend to be a trifle outspoken and suffer from ‘foot in mouth’ disease.  This is a problem when one moves in  diplomatic circles.  As well, I am not good at receiving ugly or stupid gifts.  My real opinion shows on my face.  This would also be a problem if I was a princess.  I suspect that I would be able to get training in all these areas were I to become a princess.  If I were a real princess, I would need to  ensure that I demonstrated poise at all times.

Since becoming a princess is usually a birth thing, and I didn’t have the plan worked out in time to be born to a royal household, I had to work out a second strategy.  Being well versed in my fairy tales, logically I planned  to marry a prince.  I had it all figured out.  I was going to move to England and attend the same college as Prince Edward.  I was going to need his help in the library (In later years, I decided our mutual love of theatre would be a natural bond as well).  However we met,  moments later my naturally adorable nature was going to completely entrance him.  The political benefits of marrying a colonial would be obvious to the Queen and “Voila.” One small 4th in line to the throne royal wedding later, I’d have  been  Princess Shawn. 

 Unfortunately, there were complications.  Instead studying in England, my exchange year abroad was spent in Finland.  While other Scandanian countries of  Sweden, Denmark and Norway have monarchies, which would have provided an opportunity for me to explore  my strategy (if I could have convinced the Scandanavian princes who were 14 , 3 and 11 at the time!).  Republican  Finland did not.  I spent a lot of time at Czar Alexander’s fishing cottage in Langinkoski, but it had been a long time since anyone royal had been there, so no one arrived from Russia to meet and fall in love with me and carry me back to become a Czarina.  Actually, considering what happened to Alexander’s family, that was probably for the best.

I would like to point out that Catherine Middleton used my Prince Finding Technique almost to the letter.  Since it worked so well for her, you can see that it was a sound plan. Even though it didn’t work out for me, I’m glad it worked out for her.

My husband would tell you that even though I don’t have any official status, I definitely still embody the attitude of a princess.  I will confess, he does a great job of letting me feel like a princess most of the time.  (I haven’t had to pick  up doggy do in ages!)  He may not have a title, either, but trust me, he is a prince himself, and he looks mighty fine in his Italian suit!   Despite the worth of my consort, it’s not looking good for me  to get an invitation to a tiara worthy state occasion any time soon, so I  just have to content myself with wearing  it around the house.  

I wonder if Queen Elizabeth ever answers her email in t-shirt, jeans and tiara?

———————-

FYI

The Scandanavian princes are Prince Frederik of Denmark, born in ’68, Prince Carl of Sweden, born in ’79 and Prince Haakon of Norway born in ’73.   Prince Edward was the best hope, as he is just a few months older than me.  The only other real candidate was Prince Albert of Monaco who was born in ’58.

 

we are the music May 24, 2011

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:24 am
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See, when you get down to the basics of it, everything’s just molecules vibrating. Which is what music is, what sound is, vibrations in the air. So we’re all part of that music and the worthier it is, the more voices we can add to it, the better we all are.”

~Charles de Lint in Moonlight and Vines. p. 33

(I told you I’d have something to say about this eventually, didn’t I?)

I am fascinated by music therapy.  You may be thinking of the research that shows how music connects for Altzheimer’s patients, but that’s not what I mean.  

In the harp community research has been done on how sound waves align cells, and can induce healing at the molecular level.  It’s rather profound and quite amazing.  Playing the harp is a rather meditative thing.  With your legs and arms wrapped around the sound box , the sound waves travel through your body.  You can feel it.  Certain notes can make your head tingle or your spine stretch.  You can feel the music reaching inside your arms and legs and relaxing or awakening your body.  This is why harp therapy exists.  With a harp tuned in a pentatonic scale (five notes, all complimentary) it is impossible to make any dissonance, and even bed-bound patients can hold a small harp against their chest, strumming or plucking and absorbing those sound waves.

Some innovative hospitals include such therapy in their medical teams.

Sonic therapy, The Harps of Lorien, and International Harp Therapy are just some of the projects that explore the magic and mystery of this form of healing and transition therapy.  I’m so glad that I have my harps and have the opportunity to sit and absorb the science of the universe whenever I want.

Music is a miracle and we are part of its resonance in the world.

 

dog ears May 23, 2011

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:42 am
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I love dog ears.   Scratch your dog’s ears and he leans into your hand  with an adoration bordering on orgasmic as he makes little noises of ecstacy.  I love perky little ears and I love long silky ears, particularly when they are not stained and caked with food.  Spending time with my dogs’ ears demonstrates my affection and commitment to them.  It makes us both happy.

It is the same way with my books.

I know I was told as a kid never to dog ear the pages.  As an English teacher and former school librarian, I know that book marks are there to hold your place until the next time.  But when I read, I often find quotations I love and want to find for another time (you’ll frequently find them here).  I don’t carry sticky notes around with me when I’m reading.  Book marks and sticky notes are inclined to dive into my bath tub, whereas the book itself rarely does.  So I dog ear corners.  You can tell how loved or how relevant a book is by the number of dog ears.  Eventually I go through the book and copy out all the quotes I want to keep for future pondering.    Dog ears tell me that this book is a friend that I am fond of  and that I am committed to re-visiting.  I like the idea of future people reading through my books and wondering, “What was the quote she loved on this page?”  It’s a little communication to the future.  I would write in the margins, except I don’t carry a pen with me into the bath either…  When I do this to my books, I’m well within my rights.  I own them, I can do whatever I want with impunity.  I figured as long as I remembered to transfer my quotes and straighten the corners of my library books, I’d be fine.

Enter the Library Nazis.

A couple months ago, after I had returned some books and was stopped outside the library visiting with someone who wanted to ask me about Grace Awakening, a librarian came to hover in the doorway.  When the fan left, I went to see what the librarian wanted.  Very tentatively she remarked, “We see that you tend to dog ear your books.  We wondered if you needed some bookmarks?”  I tried to explain that dog ears are not the sign of frequent stopping points (I generally read in one or two sittings, after all) but rather the sign of a need to record.  She suggested the sticky notes at that point.

Chastened by the Orwellian idea that the library actually keeps track of my reading habits I agreed to avoid turning page corners on library books in the future.  This means, I am not really taking out many library books at present, because how will I mark the important sections?

Enter the ebook.  I have a Sony e-Reader which I love.  One great feature of an ebook is the ability to download electronic books from the BC provincial library consortium: Libraries to Go.  I can read them, and electronically I can underline, write notes, or even dog ear the electronic pages!  So long as I transfer the data to my computer before the ebook is electronically returned, I’m good.  The digital copy may have kept my annotations somewhere, but since the copy on my reader just fades away, no librarian needs to harrass me for damaging books.  I can scratch those dog ears with impunity.

The future is friendly.

 

knit one purl two May 22, 2011

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:40 am
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This has been a prolific winter of knitting!

  • 5 sweaters
  • 2 scarves
  • 2 hats
  • 1 mitten pair
  • 1 wrist warmer pair

and one skirt in progress (and 3 sweaters in progress, and one half made sock and scarf from last year in progress).

Every year or two seems to involve focus on another hobby or craft.  Over the years I have played with a wide variety of crafts: sewing, cross-stitch, embroidery, calligraphy, silk ribbon embroidery, crewel, quilling, quilting, Brazilian embroidery, crocheting, folk art painting, scrapbooking, embossing, beading, portrait painting….  My craft room is overflowing with instruction books and supplies.  I can’t throw anything out because I cycle back to them all eventually, some more frequently than others. 

I am a  ‘jack of all trades, master of none’ kind of person.  I learn enough to produce some respectable projects, but then I get bored and move onto something new for awhile.

What about you?  Do you study a skill and stick with it until you are a real master?  Or do you have an attention span similar to mine?

 

the end? May 21, 2011

Filed under: Commentary — Shawn L. Bird @ 7:58 pm
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When Harold Camping decided to announce that this evening at 6 p.m that the rapture would take believing Christians to heaven and usher in Armaggedon, he automatically ensured that today would not be the day. Matt. 24:36 states “No man knows the day or the hour” and I’m not really sure how Camping’s followers were able to set aside that simple admonishment.

More important though is the next verse, which points out that people were living their lives right to the moment of the flood.

That’s how we have to be.

The Doomsday Clock is set minutes before midnight, disasters happen unexpectedly, wars rage, but should we just give up, roll over and cower in our beds?

No. We need to live every moment that we are alive by reaching out to help those whom we can and sharing light, love and blessings. There were undoubtedly many people on the planet whose lives ended at 6 pm, but the rest of us need to take a note:

The essential message of Camping and others of his ilk should be, you’re going to die someday, so make sure you’re following the most important precept in all aspects of your life, “Treat others as you would like them to treat you.”

In other words, Be kind to one another.