When I consider all the jobs on the planet that I am suited for, I frequently must acknowledge: I should have been a princess.
I definitely wouldn’t want to be a queen, because that’s way too much responsibility, but I’d be a good princess. I might even be a GREAT princess. I would love to be taken on tours of factories, museums, stately houses, gardens and the like. I would enjoy listening to music from all sorts of ethnic groups. I would enjoy eating a wide variety of interesting meals, and if I was princess, I wouldn’t have the situation I experiencedd at the last school lunch when I was holding a wonderful smelling bowl of soup, salivating in anticipation, only to be told, “Oh the soup has got nuts in it!” because if I was a princess, the caterers wouldn’t use foods I’m allergic to!
I love travelling and learning languages, so I would take advantage of my princess status to study abroad to learn to speak languages I’m missing like German, Japanese, and Chinese. I’d like to improve my Spanish and Italian to fluency as well. I would be able to take lessons on international history and political science which I always found quite intriguing. I would happily support the arts in a wide variety of forms. I would also be happy to support designers and to model new clothes, shoes and hats for many occasions, and then to re-combine them in interesting ways so they didn’t look exactly the same at future events. (That’s my frugal nature coming out).
Since I am a terrible housekeeper, I would be delighted to have a household staff to look after the mundane tasks, and it’d be fantastic to have a personal secretary to ensure I didn’t forget the day’s appointments. I would not resent them or try to do their jobs. I would be appreciative of their efforts. I would be proud to support the local economy and I would be a great employer if I was a princess.
Of course, there’d be some challenges as well. The paparazzi would be a problem. I am not photogenic all the time, so there would be a lot of nasty photos to out-balance the absolutely adorable ones. I also tend to be a trifle outspoken and suffer from ‘foot in mouth’ disease. This is a problem when one moves in diplomatic circles. As well, I am not good at receiving ugly or stupid gifts. My real opinion shows on my face. This would also be a problem if I was a princess. I suspect that I would be able to get training in all these areas were I to become a princess. If I were a real princess, I would need to ensure that I demonstrated poise at all times.
Since becoming a princess is usually a birth thing, and I didn’t have the plan worked out in time to be born to a royal household, I had to work out a second strategy. Being well versed in my fairy tales, logically I planned to marry a prince. I had it all figured out. I was going to move to England and attend the same college as Prince Edward. I was going to need his help in the library (In later years, I decided our mutual love of theatre would be a natural bond as well). However we met, moments later my naturally adorable nature was going to completely entrance him. The political benefits of marrying a colonial would be obvious to the Queen and “Voila.” One small 4th in line to the throne royal wedding later, I’d have been Princess Shawn.
Unfortunately, there were complications. Instead studying in England, my exchange year abroad was spent in Finland. While other Scandanian countries of Sweden, Denmark and Norwa
y have monarchies, which would have provided an opportunity for me to explore my strategy (if I could have convinced the Scandanavian princes who were 14 , 3 and 11 at the time!). Republican Finland did not. I spent a lot of time at Czar Alexander’s fishing cottage in Langinkoski, but it had been a long time since anyone royal had been there, so no one arrived from Russia to meet and fall in love with me and carry me back to become a Czarina. Actually, considering what happened to Alexander’s family, that was probably for the best.
I would like to point out that Catherine Middleton used my Prince Finding Technique almost to the letter. Since it worked so well for her, you can see that it was a sound plan. Even though it didn’t work out for me, I’m glad it worked out for her.
My husband would tell you that even though I don’t have any official status, I definitely still embody the attitude of a princess. I will confess, he does a great job of letting me feel like a princess most of the time. (I haven’t had to pick up doggy do in ages!) He may not have a title, either, but trust me, he is a prince himself, and he looks mighty fine in his Italian suit! Despite the worth of my consort, it’s not looking good for me to get an invitation to a tiara worthy state occasion any time soon, so I just have to content myself with wearing it around the house.
I wonder if Queen Elizabeth ever answers her email in t-shirt, jeans and tiara?
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FYI
The Scandanavian princes are Prince Frederik of Denmark, born in ’68, Prince Carl of Sweden, born in ’79 and Prince Haakon of Norway born in ’73. Prince Edward was the best hope, as he is just a few months older than me. The only other real candidate was Prince Albert of Monaco who was born in ’58.
Shawn L. Bird 
poor choices June 1, 2011
Tags: poistaday2011, poverty, working poor
In the last year or two I’ve learned a lot about the challenges of the working poor. I thought that when we were students, that we were poor. While our income well below the ‘poverty line’ we never felt poor. We shopped for clothes and furniture at thrift stores and garage sales. We filled our grocery cart with products in vibrant yellow boxes, and we certainly weren’t out buying extras, but we didn’t feel poor. We never had bill collectors call us, or had utilities cut off because we were behind in our payments. We never asked our parents for help to cover our day to day expenses, although being parents, they would often send us home with generous care packages when we went to visit.
Our children arrived while we were juggling university and jobs. The magazine the hospital gave me said that it cost $3500 to get everything a new baby needs. Through thrift stores and sewing myself, our expenditure for clothes, bedding and furniture was $143. My husband worked full time, I did full time child-care, and we both studied part time. When I was ready to start teacher training and working full time hours, he was able to work nights, so we never had to worry about child care help.
By the time we hit 30 we both had respectable, well paying jobs, had purchased and sold 2 houses building up to a beautiful acreage dream home. Our hard work had paid off. There were no vacations in exotic places. There were no fancy extras, but there was never any lack either.
We might have thought that our deligence and perseverence was bound to ensure we achieved all our dreams within the specified time lines we’d determined. We followed the rules and probably thought we deserved our success.
Fact is, we were lucky.
If any of the family had had a serious illness, job loss, or other catastrophe, we would have lost our perfect little life in an instant. We lived in a fragile soap bubble, and I had no idea just how fragile it was, or just how blessed we were.
Over the last few years I’ve met people who are just as talented, academically trained, or career focused as we were. Yet these brilliant people, through no fault of their own, are stuck in drastic financial straits. I’m not talking about addicted homeless people here. I am talking about decent, hardworking individuals who are not extravagent or wasteful. People who struggle desperately to make it month by month because of health issues and circumstances beyond their control.
Consider this: if you are too ill to work, how do you pay the bills if you don’t have sick benefits at your job? What if you contract cancer? or a severe mental illness? suffer a chronic health condition? or someone else in your household does? What happens if the government does not acknowledge your condition?
Here’s another situation: What happens if you miss a monthly payment with ICBC? Well, you must not only pay the missed payment plus a penalty, but you lose the opportunity to pay on monthly installments. How do you afford to pay a year’s insurance up front when you can’t manage a month’s payment? You don’t. You lose your ability to drive. Your vehicle becomes lawn ornament. If you don’t live in a city, how do you get around without a car? You cycle, walk or take transit and have to walk to the nearest stop. What if you’re too ill to walk or cycle, because you have cancer? or an injury? What if you need to cart water bottles?
What happens when you’re working full time, but you can’t manage your rent and utilities, even when they’re in the cheapest possible accommodations?
I hear the problems. I listen to the frustration. I sense the hopelessness. I wonder. Why does this happen? What social safety net has a gigantic hole in it, that this can happen? It is easy to see how families are torn apart by poverty. They can’t afford the services that are supposed to help them. Why are we failing our poor? What should be happening so there is not this desperation? What choices can we make in a democratic society to ensure that everyone can eat, have shelter, and can get to their jobs? We offer micro-credit to people in third world countries, is there anything like that here?
I don’t have a solution, but I want one.
Any ideas?
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