Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

poem-lost moments February 15, 2016

Filed under: Poetry,poodles — Shawn L. Bird @ 8:19 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

I had some errands to do,

and it’s always so hard to leave you

after I’ve come home,

so I went to the library,

and the grocery store,

and then to fold my mother’s laundry.

When I pulled into the garage,

he told me you were in trouble,

I rushed to see you.

You looked at me with anguish in your eyes,

your belly hugely distended. I told you to come,

you went straight to the car, because the car is always good.

I raced you to the vet, my hand on your shoulder,

knowing.

I sat on the exam room floor with you

feeling your racing pulse and your icy breath.

I held you as you died.

Thirty minutes of pointless errands

when I could have been with you,

thirty minutes less pain you would have endured,

thirty minutes I will not get back, but will always regret.

I’m thankful for the fifteen minutes I had to hold you.

I’m so sorry for your anguish in my arms.

.

.

.

My heart dog OJ died of gastric torsion on Friday.  He was fine at lunch.  Dead at 5:00.  We don’t know how it happened after 15.5 years, but standard poodles are deep chested dogs that can be prone to bloat, though it’s not in his line.  I had hoped he’d go in his sleep, not suffering so much, but it was easy to request the shot to save him from his agony, though by then it was likely only moments of ease.

 

Advertisements
 

29 Responses to “poem-lost moments”

  1. vjearle Says:

    So hard to lose such a loyal, loving friend. We had to say goodbye to our four-footed baby two years ago. I still ‘hear’ him many days, his presence echoing in my mind.

  2. Pets are family; I am sorry for your loss and hope happy memories fill your soul.

  3. The first few lines gave me no warning this would be so sad. Commiserations.

  4. radicalhope Says:

    I’m sorry. I think he knew you loved him very much.

  5. Mark Says:

    So sorry for your loss Shawn. God bless!

  6. katmicari Says:

    I’m so sorry. Losing a cherished pet, even after they’ve lived a full life, is never easy.

  7. Seven years ago, I held our long-haired dachshund, 17-years old and a mess of rheumatoid arthritis, in her last moments before euthanasia. Quality of life is such a fleeting thing.

  8. My heart goes out to you. I pray for a speedy healing heart for you, my dear.

  9. my heart goes out to you. Thank God you were there for him at the end. We’ve had a wee fright with Bert over the weekend as he has been vomiting for a couple of days. We took him to the vet this morning and he is on a special diet and a watching brief.

  10. Lesley Says:

    Oh Shawn, I’m so sorry for this painful loss of a loyal friend,and family member. That is what our pets become, so their presence in our lives is sorely missed.

  11. Lorien Says:

    Oh god Shawn. I feel your agony. Both of our cats were gone within a six month period. It’s one of the most emotionally draining experiences I can think of, being at the vet, knowing that you’re making the most human choice, but so full of grief at having to let go like that. Sending you big hugs and my empathy…and my thanks for your exquisitely honest words that remind me to feel and see and appreciate what I have right now.

    • Honestly, that was the easiest choice in this whole affair. When the vet said “It’s definitely bloat.” I said, “Well, there’s bloat and then there’s gastric torsion.” She met my eyes and said, “It’s severe gastric torsion.” At that, there was no hesitancy. “Then I have to let him go.” She nodded, looked down at him panting on the ground and said, “I think he’s dying as we speak.” I hugged him and said, “Get the shot.” I leaned down to kiss his nose and his breath was COLD. Bloat is an agonizing death. Fast and cruel. I had to take the pain away for him. Perhaps if we’d caught it two hours earlier (It’d been only 4 hours since hubby was home with him, and he’d been fine), we could have caught it before the stomach twisted, but we weren’t home and all I could do was speed him along the journey with all the love I had.


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s