Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

poem- Valentine haiku February 14, 2015

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 9:00 am
Tags: , ,

I know you love me

because you left this grieving heart

the last crumpet.

Again.

.

.

.

But if you’re reading, darlin’

I wish you’d worn your kilt today.

It wasn’t much to ask, was it?

Just sayin’.

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22 Responses to “poem- Valentine haiku”

  1. Wow. This one is both lovely and it has a strong bite. Well done.

  2. cmrsyk1985 Says:

    What count is this? I’m intrigued… I’m counting 5-8-4-2

    • Sounds right.

      I’m generally a haiku purist- 5-7-5, but in English it’s allowed flexibility, and occasionally I take it. This poem originally was only 3 lines, but after I finished and it was in the queue, named and ready, I recalled that last week I also got the last crumpet, so added a line as emphasis. Now it’s 4 lines it’s really out of the haiku bounds (should I add another and turn it into a tanka?) I decided I didn’t care. πŸ™‚ If someone can call something a ‘sonnet’ that isn’t 14 lines long or in iambic pentameter, why can’t I have a four line haiku? lol

      (Though to be honest, I hate those so called ‘sonnets’) πŸ˜‰

      • cmrsyk1985 Says:

        Interesting. I usually just reform it to become something similar, as in 3-5-3, 2-3-2, or 1-2-1 if I’m feeling particularly succinct. I still love it! I was just curious. Regardless, it’s beautifully written…

      • When I have kids do haiku in school I am really strict- it MUST fit the 5-7-5 rule. But that’s mostly because they have difficulty counting syllables (some don’t hear them at all) and so the lesson is more about syllables than poetry. πŸ™‚

  3. Anything, for a grieving heart.

  4. hakeem Says:

    how did you develop the skill of writing haiku?

  5. Yes, why not wear your kilt today darlin?

  6. lightwalker1 Says:

    Lovely. Yes, sometimes it is what people do more than what they say the speaks volumes. Kindest Regards Cheryle


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