Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

poem- night music August 25, 2014

I was the lone

talentless one

in a room of musicians.

As each took his place,

at his instrument

I turned on the cassette

recorder, determined

to capture the moment.

I collapsed onto

the couch, in

blurry eyed reverie

as the music tangled

in my brain, filled the

basement, bounced

off the ceiling tiles.

The pianist glanced

into my starry eyes

and grinned.

The others teased

between their strings,

but words fell away

in the fog of my euphoria.

His lips curled upwards

on one side

as his eyes twinkled at mine.

When he packed to go

I rewound the tape.

I heard the

mangled mess of a

damaged tape.

Devastated, I

blinked through

tearful eyes.

Everyone  laughed,

but he draped an

arm around my shoulders

and guided me up the stairs.

As his ride arrived

he whispered,

“Don’t worry.

I’ll make you

more music.”

And

he

did.

.

.

.

(Is it any wonder I wrote a book about this? lol  Tonight, I had a flashback.  Thought I’d share.)

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27 Responses to “poem- night music”

  1. Lulu Says:

    That made me 🙂

  2. jfreshly Says:

    What is your favorite mixed tape ever made for you?

    Please list the songs in chronological order 🙂

    • My tapes as a teen were all made by the boy I was crazy about, who would talk, play whatever came to mind on his piano. Later he’d send all the commercials he’d made at his radio producer job, then he was sending his latest synthesizer competition pieces. Eventually it was videos of his soundtrack compositions. (I will occasionally still get one of those in the mail).

      He grew up to be a film and TV composer. He’s very talented, and has won many awards over the years. You can hear his music here: http://www.aminbhatia.com/

      • jfreshly Says:

        That’s really cool.

        Most of the tapes I made were full of The Beatles, Van Morrison, and whatever pop sensation was hot at the time.

        Nice poem.

        It made me think of those cassette tapes 🙂

      • My kids even had little tape recorders and made their own mix tapes, not so long ago. I found one and have been playing it in my car (a 2000 VW Beetle that came with cassette player!) I confess to being a little alarmed at the music my kids (I think this was my son) were listening to!

  3. howardat58 Says:

    Now of course it’s out with the VCR/tablet/whatever, and the “operator” never sees the action or hears the music. Those were the days!!!

  4. speedodoyle Says:

    Hi, I enjoy your poems, and I was wondering, how do you decide when to put one part of your sentences on a new line? Is it by feeling or are you following a given structure?

    • There are a few factors.
      1. Slowing the reader down
      2. Creating visual image
      3. Emphasizing a phrase or word
      4. Encapsulating a thought

      Generally I go with ‘feels right’ as I’m writing, but in the edit I re-arrange to improve flow & meaning. I’ll also change up words to get the best sound (lots of focus on consonance and assonance in my work).

      In this one, you’ll see that the lines are basically the same width throughout, and in most cases there’s a clause on each line that summarizes a thought/point. The end of the poem the last clause is broken into single words to emphasize a point, slowing the reader to a stop.

      Is that useful?

  5. yelena Says:

    so beautifully woven and evocative..i could see and feel it all.

  6. Lorien Says:

    ❤ ❤ ❤ 😀

  7. KNA Says:

    Great poem, love it.

  8. sexy … the ending, open for speculation, visual interpretation … fantasy … tabla rasa for feelings (so esoteric!) … open for questions, wondering; who was it? what was the occasion? what kind of relationship did you have with that person? .. the whole piece open for individual perspective like … i wonder if anyone else thought it was sexy? maybe you were alone??? when would he come back to make music with you? was it a memory (who tapes music these days?) … lotsa good stuff for mind play … different thought paths to take (Ooooo … so esoteric, again!) thanks … i really did like it. i like poetry that tells stories … in fact …. wull … maybe later … ks

  9. hey Shawn … i couldn’t agree with you more … i had fun filling in the blanks …. ks

  10. oh … i’m sorry if you misunderstood. these were questions your poem elicited from within myself. I enjoyed filling in the blanks … ks

  11. Heather Says:

    Absolutely beautiful.


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