Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

Bio: Crystal Visions of Rainbows April 17, 2013

At the Vernon Writers’ Conference this past weekend, author Patricia Donahue encouraged participants to create biographies for our characters.  She uses cards for this purpose and makes point form notes.  I decided to explore ‘background info’ on the character of Christie by letting her speak for herself.  This won’t be in a book, but it tells us interesting things about her, and how she got her job watching Grace.  Enjoy!

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My name is Crystal Visions of Rainbows.

It’s stupid.  I know. 

On the first day of kindergarten everyone laughed at me when they heard it.  Everyone except Grace.  She came and sat beside me on the circle time carpet and whispered, “That’s the prettiest name I ever heard.”  I adored her from that moment, of course.

As I’m sure you can imagine, anyone who names her kid Crystal Visions of Rainbows is a hippy.  Free love.  Peace not war.  Tie dye and joints.  Yup.  My mother.  Her real name was Martha Grimes but she changed it to Earth Helper.  Sometimes it is an absolute mortification to have parents.  

She did one good thing, though.

One day, in her communing with the goddess through some psychedelic haze, she got me a job.  I was assigned to watch Grace. 

Watching, in this case means knowing who Grace’s friends are, how she’s feeling about things, and helping her out in simple ways.  In other words, I was hired to be her best friend.  I would have been her best friend, anyway.  Theoretically I’m paid for this, but I don’t know if it’s in drachmas, gold, or good karma.  Mother looks after the finances and any of those would be good enough currency for her. Myself, I don’t ask.

My brother Shane is lucky.  Somehow he was excused from the expectation that he be a flower child.  Shane (birth name, Sky Rider) is now aiming to be a corporate lawyer.  Mother rolls her eyes, and is relieved when he assures her that he votes Green.  It’s a small consolation. 

With his abdication of the family burden to save the world, all the weight of expectation falls on me.  Hence the bargain with a goddess.

When I was about twelve, I decided that my mom had been hallucinating the whole thing, and I put my foot down.  No more spying on my best friend and leaving written reports in the silver bowl on the dining room table.  There’d be no more of this crap about goddesses and duty and obligation.

But then the goddess showed up and introduced herself, and what could I do?

It was Friday after school.  I was going to be meeting Grace in a couple of hours, so we could go see a movie.   I walked in the door and there was this woman sitting in my living room.

My mother was nowhere to be seen.  Shane was at some debating practice at school.  I froze.

“Who are you?  What are you doing in my house?”

She smiled and extended a beautifully manicured hand, “Hello.  You must be Crystal Vision of Rainbows.”

I scowled. “My name is Christie.”  I didn’t take her hand.

“Have a seat.” She indicated the chair opposite the one she’d been in.  “We need to talk.”

I crossed my hands and stared at her.  “I don’t think we do,” I’d said, and turned to leave.  I was going to the neighbours to call the police.  I took a step forward and froze, my right foot stuck in the air.  I couldn’t move.

“Actually,” she drawled, “we will.  Have a seat, child.”

Completely against my will, my body pivoted and carried me to the chair.  “Hey!”  I tried to fight it, but I had absolutely no control.  “Who are you!  What are you doing!”  My hands folded themselves demurely on my lap.  Inside I was thrashing, but outside I was quiet and calm.  It was like being wrapped in an invisible strait jacket. 

“Crystal Visions of Rainbows, I am pleased to meet you at last.  I am Aphrodite.”

I gaped at her.  “The Aphrodite?”

She inclined her perfectly coiffed head in assent.  “The Aphrodite.  Your mother told you about me, of course?”

“I read,” I grunted.  Aphrodite, Greek goddess of love (beautiful, vain, used to getting what she wanted) was sitting in my living room in a perfectly tailored, spotless white suit.  Her hair was twisted into a chignon.  Scarlet toe nails peeped from shoes made of satin brocade.  No blouse was visible; the suit jacket displayed her cleavage in suggestive, if not provocative, style.

She nodded, “Very good.  You know that you have been in my employ for several years.”

I started to speak but she raised her hand, and my mouth wouldn’t open.

“Your work the past few years,” she continued, “has been exemplary, and I have been pleased with your efforts.  Recently, however, I have observed that you are growing dissatisfied with our agreement.  This is not acceptable.  You have an obligation.  You must follow through with it.”

I tried to speak, but it doesn’t really work when your jaw is clamped tightly closed.

She flicked her index finger through the air and my body returned to me.  “Speak,” she said imperiously.

“She is my friend.  I don’t want to spy on her.  What will she say when she knows that her best friends is spying on her!  She’ll hate me!”

Aphrodite nodded, “Very likely.  What would you feel like if she were to die because you were not spying on her.  Would that be better?”  Her brows were raised in calm inquiry.

“What?”  I stared at her.  “That’s ridiculous.”

“It is not.  Why would we have someone watching her if she were not in danger?  You are a key reason she is still alive, and make no mistake, the older Grace is, the more danger she is in.”

“Really?” I squeaked.

She inclined her head.  “Your job is vital to Grace’s survival.  Are you enough of a friend to keep her safe, even if it is a secret that you are doing so?”

“What’s so important about her?”  Grace was just a regular kid.  Uncoordinated, silly, crushes on boys, not great at PE, not great at music, not great at math, but good enough at everything, and pleasant enough that she got along with everyone, kids and adults alike.

“If I told you, I would have to kill you,” Aphrodite deadpanned.

Or maybe she was serious.

At my incredulous look she laughed daintily, in a contained, fake sort of titter.  “She is important to me.  I would like her alive.  Your job is to continue to file reports through your mother…  What?”  She’d intercepted my rolled eyes and tilted her head.  “You don’t trust your mother?”

“My mother is a nut job.”  I love her, but she is.  She’s into all the quackery of tarot cards, crystal gazing, tuning into her qi, and all that.  She’s fervent, and loving, and fun, but she’s a nut.

“Your mother is attuned to me.  It is not your place to question your mother’s role in this.  Your place is to obey, and in so doing, to keep your friend alive.  Can I trust you to return to your duty?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said quietly, looking down at my feet.

“Excellent.  I look forward to your next report, Crystal Views of Rainbows.”

“My name is…”

“Yes.  I know.  Do you understand the power of your name?  You see clearly.  You divide simple facts into a spectrum of understanding, like a crystal divides colours into a spectrum, or rain divides light into a rainbow.  You see beauty and create beauty.  Your name is a declaration of your true self.  You should not deny it.”

I sighed.  “Can’t you call me Christie?”

She laughed that contained titter again.  “If I remember.  We are in agreement, then? You will report?”

I nodded.

“Very good.  Farewell then.”  She rose in an elegant unfolding, stepped into the centre of my living room, and (I swear to god!) vanished in a slice of light, as if she’d stepped through a curtain from a dark room into a brilliant one.

I sat staring at the spot.  I was twelve, but I suddenly felt as if I’d grown up.  I was doing great and important things, even if no one else knew about them.  I was a hero, keeping my best friend safe.  I smiled to myself and inclined onto the couch, pondering what else my mother might be right about.

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(As a bonus, I can count this in CampNaNoWriMo word count.  I’m in desperate need of the 1200 words!  I have been seriously distracted by poetry this month).

 

Camping out NaNo style April 3, 2013

Filed under: Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 1:05 pm
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April is Camp NaNoWriMo time.  You may know about NaNoWriMo–that frenzy of writing that is National Novel Writing Month.  If you sign up, you commit to write 50,000 words of a novel in November.  (Like you have nothing better to do, what with American Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and the like!)   I find it to be a punishing pace to write 1666 words every day for 30 days.  You can join with or make writing friends who you encourage.  You write.  Your receive encouragement or pressure from your writing friends.  You write. You get inspiring emails from the Office of Letters and Light.   You write.   I did it (as you can see by the icon on my page), but I confess that while working full time and juggling all my other responsibilities,  it was really painful.

Camp NaNo is  much less intense.  First of all, you can set your own goal.  I set mine for 25,000 words in 30 days.  That’s the pace I wrote Grace Awakening Dreams and Power: an average of 834 words a day.   At that pace I finished a 157,000 word (400+ pages) novel draft in six months.    It is a nice, relaxing pace, and joining Camp will provide the discipline of commitment and accountability to stick with it, since I’ve gotten a bit lax in my writing routine lately.

So here I am, plodding along at camp.  I still have to introduce myself to my cabin mates (having some trouble figuring out how to email them).   Another nice thing about Camp, is that it doesn’t have to be a novel, so long as you’re writing.  So while I do have a novel that I expect to be working on, I can count blog posts, poetry, and articles I write for magazines.  Gotta love that, right?

Look! This makes 290+ words towards today’s word count! 🙂

See you at Camp?

 

snippet of Grace Awakening Destiny November 17, 2012

I am brain numb today (still in recovery from our short week, and from  combing the internet for summer writing options in Provence into the wee hours last night).  As a result I can’t think of a thing to say.  In such a circumstance, sharing a snippet of the NaNoWriMo project on the go seems like a good solution, so here is something for your reading pleasure.  This is a first draft of Ben’s perspective on the infamous concert scene, set at the Orpheum Theatre in Vancouver:

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It was my turn.

Kraft called my name and smiled at me from the podium.

I stepped onto the stage.

Kraft asked me about the inspiration for the song and I looked right through the blackness and into Grace’s eyes when I replied, “I wrote this piece as a celebration of the kind of love that can not be stopped by time, the kind of love that makes the universe worth inhabiting.”

The Bösendorfer grand piano gleamed in the stage lights like an ocean reflecting city lights.  I sat down on the bench, positioned my hands, and nodded at Kraft.  He nodded to the violins and marked the down beat.

My song told the story of my search for Grace.  The strings wept my loneliness and longing for her.  The flutes danced into the melody in little trills of hope, those moments when I thought she was near.  Then I struck the keys of the piano and told of her appearance in my life, her rejection, her tentative interest, her fearful denials.  I wound the music with my fears for her and my joy in her.  A flute played the recorder part from the picnic when she’d accepted her ancient wedding ring from me.  The woodwinds laughed with the joy of her acknowledgment of our love.  I set my hands on my lap as the percussion beat out the danger and the brass howled my frustration and pain.  Then I started playing again, pouring my hope and adoration through my fingers and out onto the strings of piano.  My love rolled out from the piano and filled the hall with dreams and hope, and then I hit the final chord and dropped my head onto my chest, emotionally exhausted.

Like they had been at the end of Jilly’s composition, the audience sat, silently.

I stood up and turned to the audience.  I kissed the tips of my fingers and extended my arm toward Grace.  Her love filled my mind.  I bowed to the still silent audience, as tears of grateful adoration clouded my vision.

Grace  leaned over the railing of the balcony, stretching out her arm as if she could reach me.  Tears were pouring down her face.

Suddenly, in a single tsunami wave, the audience rose to its feet and began to applaud.  Applaud and applaud.  It went on and on, clapping and clapping.

The announcer touched my arm and guided me to the other competitors.

I sat there as the audience continued to applaud.

The announcer stood waiting, trying to speak, but completely [overcome] by the crowd who were not ready yet to stop.

Wesford Kraft came over and shook my hand.

The announcer smiled at me in awkward acknowledgement and clapped his own hands.  He had me stand once more and bow, and finally the crowd gradually stopped and took their seats again.  He thanked the other contestants with a smile, told the crowd that the special long piece commissioned for tonight from the winner of last year’s competition would be performed after the intermission.  They would announce the winner of the this year’s competition afterwards.  He thanked Wesford Kraft for conducting and Kraft bowed to polite applause, and left the stage.

My heart was thudding so hard it was filling the room.

The house lights were turned back up and I glanced up to the Dress Circle.  Bright was beaming down at me.  Grace had disappeared.

I started up the aisle toward the lobby, people parted, smiling and thumping me on my back as I went.

In the lobby Grace flew at me in her flowing red dress like a shooting flame of longing.  She fired into my thoughts all her joy, excitement, and love.  I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her, devouring her presence greedily.

The world fell away as we collapsed into ourselves, hearts, heads, and hands consumed in the bliss of physical presence at long last.

Grace gasped for air and we pulled apart, staring into each other eyes, our minds full of the euphoria of togetherness.

I looked around and realized that a crowd had gathered around us, beaming in amusement.  I took half a step back, slightly embarrassed, and they applauded again with enthusiastic approval.  Grace buried her head in my shoulder and I laughed, hugging her tightly.

The lights flicked to send us back to our seats, and I pulled her along with me to the front row.  The others just grinned at us, and Jilly Tomm from Saskatchewan slid over one chair.

I was feeling very little appreciation for arm rests as we cuddled together when the lights went down.  I knew that in the overflow of stage lighting we would be silhouetted for the entire theatre to see, and so I tried to be circumspect, when all I wanted to do was throw her onto the ground and make wild, passionate love to her.  We hadn’t done that this life-time, and this truly wasn’t the place, but it didn’t stop me from wanting it.  I nestled down to kiss her neck, and she made tantalizing little noises.  They were an interesting cross between a squeak and a purr.  They didn’t help my composure.

The orchestra played its accompaniment to our blissful entwining of affection, adoration, euphoria, and lust.

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NaNoWriMo report.

Day 17 words:  2570                    (November Total 27,515)

True confession.  I have changed my NaNo time zone to Midway Island.  That gives me three extra hours to write before NaNo closes down the day.  Since I tend to do my writing after midnight, this is a great help!

 

NaNoWriMo begins… October 31, 2012

Filed under: Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 8:00 pm
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November is National Novel Writing Month.  Participants in NaNoWriMo are challenged to write 50,000 words  of a novel throughout the month and keep track of their output on a central site.  1667 words per day.

The NaNo team sends you a calendar and encouraging emails.  If you have friends doing it, you can watch each others’ stats, in order to nag or cheer each other.  You can find other writers in your area by writing in a central location.  They suggest libraries or independent book stores.  I have decided our local McDonalds offers the best hours and space, but I haven’t managed to ask them if they’d like to officially participate! (This would involve putting up a WRITER AT WORK sign and leaving us alone).

If you work full time and have several activities that fill your free time, getting 1667 words per day offers some serious challenges.  But you want to WIN, so you make the effort!

Winning at NaNoWriMo means you reached that magic number.  You succeeded in pounding out 50,000 words.  You get to feel the thrill of accomplishment that comes from a sustained, anguished effort to force your muse to be at the top of her game every day, inspiring you to a hitherto unimagined production of words…

I will be hosting NaNoWriMo in my class room throughout November.  During lunch hours students will be welcome to come and write along with me.  Of course, 30 mins of time is not likely to equal 1667 words, but it should be quite possible to regularly reach 1000 words .  33 words a minute seems far more plausible that 56 words a minute for some reason.  Maybe because while I can type at 60 words a minute, doing it for 30 minutes suggests a need for support staff and a lot of caffeine.  But it’s possible.

What might NOT be possible while doing NaNoWriMo is creating brilliant blog posts every day.

I may post samples of what I’m writing, or forward the odd bit of brilliance that comes my way.

I may go through my files of quotes I’ve found in my reading, and share them.

I might find time to go through my SIWC2012 notes, tidy the phrases into sentences and get one posted now and then.

Or I might not.

Be patient with me, dear reader.  I am diving off the deep end, and I may not come up for air until hubby’s big birthday on the 30th.

 

Are you going to NaNoWriMo? October 14, 2012

Filed under: Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 5:47 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

If you’re interested in joining me at an attempt at National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) November 2012, get in touch! They suggest a goal of 50,000 words in the month, but something is better than nothing! I’m at shawn (dot) bird (at) ymail (dot) com or you can leave a message here: https://shawnbird.com/about/
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NaNoWriMo_FlyerNaNoWriMo_Flyer.pdf

 

Four years ago… October 9, 2012

The week before Thanksgiving in 2008, I was given Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Saga to read by one of my English students.  That Thanksgiving weekend I bought my own copies of the books, read through the series again, and then poured over Stephenie Meyer’s website, reading everything I could about the genesis of the story, the process of writing, what she’d done to find an agent, and the adventure her life had become.

I was completely, totally, thoroughly inspired.  An idea sparked.  I’d had a story floating in my head for decades.  I’d written it down in a couple of versions before, but it wasn’t right.  I had known I needed a hook, but I just couldn’t figure out what it could be.  Stephenie gave me the solution: mythology.  Just as she had used vampires and werewolves, Greek mythology could be melded into the experience I wanted to share in order to provide the depth and conflict that had been missing in previous drafts.

The Tuesday after Thanksgiving (that is, this very day four years ago) I began writing Grace Awakening.  That first day, I wrote about five double spaced pages.  The second day I did the same.  Then the third.  By the end of three weeks I had 75 pages of writing.  I set the goal to keep writing 25 pages a week. I met or exceeded that goal each subsequent week.  Twenty three weeks later, the first draft was complete.  It was the week before Easter, and I had 155,000 words.

A couple of weeks after Thanksgiving in 2009, I went to the Surrey International Writers Conference.  I pitched the book to a small Vancouver publisher.  She was interested and asked to see more.

A week before Thanksgiving in 2010 I signed the contracts with Gumboot Books.

In 2011, Gumboot Books went out of business, but Grace Awakening Dreams was released anyway through Lintusen Press in July.  By Thanksgiving 2011, it had been in the list of  Top iTunes Fantasy books in Canada over a hundred times.

In 10 days, I’ll be back to the Surrey International Writers’ Conference to pitch Grace Awakening Myth, a companion novel that tells  Ben’s version of  his battle for Grace.

It’s a lot to be thankful for: four years of creativity, empowerment, challenge, excitement, growth, and adventure.  It’s been an amazing ride!

Four years ago, when I started typing, I would not have been brave enough to imagine that I’d be in this place today.  But here I am.   My friend Heather observed, “Where will you be in another 4 years? Do you not love the “wait and see”‘ of life?”   The thought of it hit me in the gut.  Where will I be? I can only dream where Grace will be, keep writing, and hope I’m holding tightly to her coat tails as she explores the world!

 

 

HELP! Which start is your favourite? October 7, 2012

I’m unhappy with the opening to Grace Awakening Myth.  I need something strong , intriguing and compelling.

I’m brainstorming, and would appreciate some feedback from you!  Here are six versions of the first 100 words or so.  Version one is the original.  Which do you think is the strongest option?  Can you identify why it appeals to you?  Would you mix components of a couple of the options?  Please leave your observations in the comment section below.   (Though I see many of you are using Facebook, and that’s all right as well).  Thanks for your help!

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Version 6:

Aphrodite’s words exploded in my head like a missile shot from a catapult, leaving me dizzy and stunned.

I stared at her  as the words ricocheted through my head, smashing through my consciousness, crushing my hopes, and destroying my future.

Finally, I sputtered, “What did you say?”  It couldn’t be true.  She couldn’t have said what I heard.

Aphrodite stood, her back to the temple columns, watching me solemnly.  “Oh, Orpheus,” she sighed.  “I said, ‘This is that girl’s last life time in the Earthly Realm.  If you are to have her for eternity, she must choose you this time.’”

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Version 5:

Aphrodite’s words exploded in my head like the sound of crashing swords, leaving me dizzy and stunned.

Finally, I gasped, “What did you say?”

Aphrodite stood, her back to the templecolumns, watching me solemnly.  “Oh, Orpheus,” she sighed.  “I said, ‘This is that girl’s last life time in the Earthly Realm.  If you are to have her for eternity, she must choose you this time.’”

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Version 4:

Aphrodite was watching me with a solemnly pitying expression as I came over the hill.  She leaned languidly against a pillar, golden hair flowing around her in waves, waiting.

She made me nervous.  I bowed low.  “You wished to speak to me?”

She nodded, stepping forward and straightening into a formal posture. “I am to inform you, that this is the girl’s last life time in the Earthly Realm.  If you are to have her for eternity, she must choose you this time.”

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Version 3.

Aphrodite leaned against the temple column and watched me warily.  “Did you hear what I said, Orpheus?”

I bowed respectfully, shaking my head.  I had heard, but I wished fervently that I hadn’t.

“I said, this is that girl’s last life time in the Earthly Realm.  If you are to have her for eternity, she must choose you this time.”

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Version 2:

Aphrodite’s words sliced into me like a sword and I wheezed, feeling the blood rush from my face as the pain of them slashed through me.  “What did you say?”

Aphrodite stood, her back to the templecolumns, watching me solemnly.  “Oh, Orpheus,” she sighed.  “I said, ‘This is that girl’s last life time in the Earthly Realm.  If you are to have her for eternity, she must choose you this time.’”

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 Version 1:

“Orpheus!  Come here.  I need to talk to you.”  Aphrodite stood, her back to the templecolumns, watching me solemnly.

I didn’t like the expression on her face.  I bowed respectfully, “Yes?”

“This is that girl’s last life time in the Earthly Realm.  If you are to have her for eternity, she must choose you this time.”

.

(FYI- this is what follows the above…)

That girl.  She tossed the words like Grace was of no consequence.  The girl I had followed through time, the girl who made my life complete, and gave me music.  The girl who could save all that was good in the world.  The girl I was waiting for.  My heart started to pound.  “Where is she?”

She shook her head.  “I’m not allowed to say; you know that.”

“I was told Canada.  In Calgary.”

Her eyes widened and she tilted her head, but she made no comment.

The eyes were enough confirmation.  At least I didn’t have to scan the entire population of the planet.  I only needed to find Grace among the million or so residents of Calgary.  I’d come to the city a couple of years before on a tip, and had settled myself into high school there.  My informant had assured me that Grace would show up there eventually, but I had reached my final year in high school without any sign of her.  I’d begun to doubt, but Aphrodite’s alarmed surprise was enough evidence that I was in the right place.  I would try to be patient.

 

6 tips for self-editing from Jerry B. Jenkins June 19, 2012

Filed under: Commentary,Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 1:26 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

In the Writer’s Digest video, How to Become a Ferocious Self-Editor,  author Jerry B. Jenkins  recommends that in order to be publication ready, every author needs to intensely self-edit.  He advises that you should,

  • make every word count
  • pay attention to your dialogue
  • avoid hackneyed language and situations
  • get quickly to your point
  • maintain one point of view
  • resist the urge to explain

I’ll be watching for these as I’m going over draft two of  Grace Awakening Myth (aka Book three) this week.  What are you self-editing these days?

 

heat in the band room June 14, 2012

The latest snippet from Grace Awakening Myth

Things are heating up in the band room!  (Ben is narrating).

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Ryan came in.  “Did you see Tanis?”   His eyes were wild.

“When?”

“Today.  She’s wearing something.”

“I should hope so.  Otherwise she’d be arrested.”

He shook his head, as if to shake out an image, “No, I mean, she’s wearing some…thing.  Ahhh.”  He shook harder, then hissed, “Look!”

Tanis sauntered in.  She was definitely wearing ‘something,’ all right.  Skin tight.  Mini-dress.  Black leather.

Ryan cast a frantic look over to Mr. J.  Mr. J glanced back and raised an eye brow.

Paul came in, grinning.

Tanis glanced over her shoulder and then bent over.

Paul sucked in his breath.

Ryan gulped.  Loudly.  Like he had swallowed his tongue.

“Tanis,” Mr. J called.  “I need to see you over here, please.”

She grinned at us, our jaws hovering somewhere around our navels, and gave a little shoulder wiggle as she passed us.

Mr. J spoke to her quietly.

She shrugged and left the room.

He came over to us.  “For whose benefit was that display, gentlemen?”

“I…uh…well…” Ryan stuttered.

Paul twitched, but didn’t seem to have the capacity of speech anymore.

I inhaled.  “It’s complicated, sir.”

 

Modern pict, in miniature June 11, 2012

Filed under: anecdotes,Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 9:40 pm
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NB.  Beaufort is pronounced Byoo-furt in this one.

Just a snap shot in words.

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“Beaufort T. Scott!  Is that your mama’s blue eye shadow all over your face?” Sadie looked again and rammed her hands onto her hips, elbows jutting out menacingly.  “And why on Earth are you wearing your sister’s skirt?

“It’s not a skirt!  It’s a kilt.  Kilts are for men.  Mama says so!”  He thrust his tongue out to emphasize the point.

“It’s a gingham skirt with a calico ruffle, Beaufort.”

His lower lip quivered.  “It’s a kilt!”

Joline’s kitten pounced by, narrowly missing a lucky grasshopper.  Beaufort bent over to examine it, demonstrating that he was wearing his ‘kilt’ in the traditional manner.

Sadie raised an eyebrow.  “Careful that cat doesn’t reach up and slice off your privates.”

In alarm, the little boy swooped up the cat and dangled it protectively over the privates in question.

Sadie bit back a laugh.  The poor little cat looked for all the world like a pipe major’s badger sporran hanging there, tail twitching between the little boy’s knees.

“Ah, Beaufort,” she sighed.  “You’ll be the death of me.”