Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

The pebble tsunami June 9, 2010

Filed under: Pondering,Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:35 am
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I’m thinking today about action and reaction.

We have no way of knowing whether an off-hand comment with no emotional import for us will cause an explosive reaction in someone else. An innocuous observation can suddenly start a chain reaction of events that can be completely unexpected and sometimes horrendous.

Words have their own life once they’ve left you, and you have no way of controlling that life. A pebble is dropped and the rings expand and expand until they’ve touched many unexpected places.

Words can reveal hidden secrets, secret dreams, and powerful truths. Sharing our own secrets, dreams and truths is one thing, but sometimes as Jacob Black says in New Moon, we know secrets that aren’t ours to share. If we accidentally let those out, the reaction that was a pebble ripple to us, might turn out to be a tsunami for someone else, destroying all those beautiful beach front homes they’ve so carefully built up.

It’s no good trying to say it’s not really a tsunami. Perception is reality. If it feels like a tsunami to them, then it is one.

There’s no way to take back the pebble and stop the tsunami. We can only be there to help clean up the wreckage our words have wrought.

 

The Garden of Marriage June 7, 2010

Filed under: Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 1:23 am
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Marriage is like a garden.

When you’re attentive to it, watering and weeding regularly, it flourishes and is a joy to see and visit. It’s beauty encourages the gardener to come in and improve it even more. When a garden is neglected, it becomes a wasteland that is sad for everyone, particularly the gardener. If you look into a neglected garden, you are plagued with guilt, frustration and anger. It does not promote a sense of calm and well-being.

Maintaining a garden takes effort. You have to make time for it. For awhile you may make do by just nipping out to water now and then, but come a hot day, the whole garden is wilting because you missed the needed attention at just the right moment.

Gardens need fertilizer.  A load of manure adds nutrients that encourage beautiful growth.  When we’re applying that fertilizer and working it into the soil things get dirty and perhaps a bit smelly, but that enrichment pays off in the long term.  If you want bountiful blossoms and fruit, regular fertilizing throughout the growing season is the best way to ensure success.

Sometimes weeds sneak into the garden. Sometimes these small, innocuous visitors look like plants you’d like to cultivate. They’re cute, dainty, perhaps they even have lovely flowers. But if you ignore them, they will take over, choking out what is most beautiful in your garden.

Sometimes you add special plants into the garden. They are gorgeous, and they are precious. Perhaps they are from a different climatic zone or are otherwise exceedingly tender. If you spend all your time tending those delicate plants, amazing though they are, the rest of your garden will suffer. To be honest, some people will not notice. They will admire your stunning, beautiful specimens, and completely miss the bed that is mostly choked with grass. The garden’s wholistic health suffers due to your misplaced focus. What’s important is the big picture, and being attentive to the tender plants while the rest of the garden wastes away is foolish.

Sometimes your garden becomes such a disaster that you can’t face going out to tackle the work that needs to be done. The long, back-breaking hours just don’t appeal. You may remember how beautiful it once was, and wish that it could be that way again, but you know it’s not going to be easy. Sometimes professional help is needed to get things back on track. Be careful though, if you’re not committed to working with the professionals, you’re not going to feel as invested in the effort, and it is likely that your garden will go to waste again.

If you’re the only gardener, the garden may feel like a lot of work. If you feel your efforts to have a great garden are unappreciated, then the garden becomes a chore and you won’t enjoy being in it. If you’re working side by side with someone, the gardening becomes a journey of creation. Together you craft and work to make it a beautiful thing, and you share the joy of achievement. When one of you is flagging, the other can encourage. When one has a brilliant idea, the other can add a voice of reason that keeps the garden in balance. The more you work together the better your garden grows.

Just like a marriage.

 

world in a finger June 6, 2010

Filed under: Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 7:37 am

I’m thinking tonight about the blessings of health.   We may be the most outward thinking, world embracing people on the planet, but when our health is compromised, our world shrinks until the agonized part of us  is the only thing that exists.  Our existance becomes encompassed between our ears, or possibly even within something as tiny as a finger. 

If you are not suffering from chronic pain or a debilitating illness or injury, be thankful for your good fortune today.  Send thoughts and prayers for those who are not as fortunate.

 

Dreams and names June 5, 2010

Filed under: Grace Awakening,Literature,Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 6:51 am
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Names…had potency. They pulled their owners in their wakes, the way that dreams can, the way you can wake up from sleep and believe that what you dreamed actually occurred. And even later, even when you realized the mistake, it was difficult to re-adjust your thinking.
But if dreams were potent, names were more so, especially the ones people chose for themselves. They might grow into the ones that were given to them, through the familiarity of use, if nothing else, but the ones they chose defined who they were like an immediate descriptive shorthand. (Charles de Lint. Memories and Dreams. p. 298)

Dreams touch us in diverse ways. Dreams of the bizarre, the hoped for, the feared all make appearances in our sub-conscious while we sleep. Usually they remain hidden, but if we come close to waking, to touching reality, then the conscience learns of their existence. When dreams touch awareness, then we touch the mystery and must sleuth out meaning or embrace the mystery. While the fears that wake us screaming in the night can paralyze us, we can also allow our subconscious to use dreams challenge us, inspire us or help us break through to a brilliant neural network of solutions

I often go to bed with a problem on my mind and awake to the solution fully formed. I have gone to bed thinking about right hand melody and left hand accompaniment patterns that would not go together.  The next morning I’ve sat down at the harp and played the previously impossible on the first try. The subconscious is amazingly useful when we harness the power. The dream does actually occur in these cases, contrary to De Lint’s suggestion, because the dreams create reality.

Just like dreams, names are powerful. We gift our children with names that we hope they will live up to. My daughter’s name means “strong and womanly.”  I think she has definitely grown into her name. My son’s name means “victory of the people” and I like the notion that his successes will help others. My name, a derivative of John, means “God’s gracious gift.” I was raised as a precious arrival, and definitely felt blessed and appreciated. Shawn is also, of course, more commonly a male name. Aside from the incorrectly addressed mail and being assigned to the all male dorm at college youth weekend, it hasn’t proven too problematic, at least since getting over the angst of youth. Perhaps I’m more inclined to celebrate the feminine with jewelery and shoes to counter the masculinity of the name.  I think male Shawns are quite different from female Shawns, and that’s an interesting concept! As De Lint says, the name I chose is perhaps more potent because it is a huge choice to join individual identity in the union of marriage.

The names of the characters in Grace Awakening are carefully chosen. The names reflect the characters’ roles and personalities, or are small salutes to special people. I spent hours and hours on name sites getting the perfect name for each one. The names frame the personalities. Click on the Grace Awakening site and scroll to the sub-pages at the bottom to see articles about this.

How does your name define who you are? Have you changed your name? Would you change your name? Why? Why not?

 

Not Scott June 4, 2010

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 1:35 am
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Kids can travel in flocks

and they can live in a box 

Neatly labeled: ‘a fish’ or ‘a rock’  

.

But not Scott.

.

There’s no box that can fit him

There’s no talk that can pick him

Not a box, what the opposite?

A circle or composite?

Yes a circle, a bubble

adrift, finding trouble .

“You’re a circle,” I say,

Very clearly today.

.

“No, I’m not,”              

                           says Scott

.

“I’m something new fangled

Not circle –  triangle.

But more than that, if you please

I am isosceles.

No – I’m a plain, unilateral,

isosceles equalateral.”

.

Oh yes.  Many kids may fit in a box

with their labels affixed like they’re locked.

.

But not Scott.

.

Scott’s the epitome

                              of paradox

.

(c) Shawn Bird 2010

.

I’m really irritated that wordpress is not transferring my formatting, and is messing up my stanzas on this poem!   I had to separate with periods to keep the breaks.  If you want to reprint it, please ask me for the correctly formatted version.

 

I saw your face June 3, 2010

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 4:12 am
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I heard a laugh today,
And on the rolling strains
I saw your face again.

In unexpected ways
It seems the memory’s stained,
and still some trace remains.

Your laughter long away
Came creeping past the pain;
I see your face again.

6/10

A day to play with 3s: three triplet stanzas in iambic trimeter.  A laugh, a flash, and a poem appears.

 

Becoming ‘puoli-Suomalainen’ June 2, 2010

Filed under: Pondering,Rotary — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:02 am
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I have 5 mothers, 5 fathers, 17 siblings and two nations.

I am a returned Rotary Exchange Student, and my experience living abroad changed my life. I was blessed to live for a year in Kotka, Finland (Suomi to the Finns) and now my world is paradoxically both larger and smaller.

My first involvement with Rotary was with at a Candy Striper conference the year I was in grade eleven. Katy Jensen, a Rotary Exchange student from New Zealand, was a delegate from a hospital in her exchange community. She described her adventures in Canada and a world of possibility opened up to me. I decided to find out about the program.

I knew my high school vice-principal, Bob Lemon, was a Rotarian, so I asked him about the exchange. He told me to watch for information about interviews the following September. I have noticed since that a lot of students miss out on the opportunity because the interviews happen so early in the school year. If you’re looking at exploring an exchange, be sure you’re hunting for the application details the first week back at school in the fall!

It was a thorough interview process. A short application to start. Next there were interviews at the club level. A longer form. An intensive panel interview at district level. Then thick application form package. By October I had been chosen to represent District 5060 in Finland. Wow. I didn’t know a thing about Finland, so I had a lot to learn to prepare for a year there!

Many people wonder how I ended up in Finland. Short answer: by mistake. On my application, my 3 choices were Belgium (the only French speaking country the district was exchanging with that year), Japan (obviously about to explode in economic activity with Canada), and then…. I had no real interest in anywhere else, so I chose Denmark because it was near Belgium, and I really wanted to see the Vimy Memorial.

The district committee lost some paperwork and they phoned to ask again what my country choices were. I was out as usual volunteering or something. My mom knew the first two, but couldn’t recall the third choice. I had a Finnish pen pal at the time, so she said, “I think the third was Finland?” The rest is history. No one ever asks to go to Finland. No one even knows where Finland is! They were so excited that someone asked for Finland that I was a shoe-in. They happily phoned to offer me an exchange in Finland. What was I going to say? I went.

I tried to learn Finnish before I left. I’m good at languages. It was something completely new. Finno-Ugaric languages have very little in common with Romance languages! When I stepped on the plane with Karyn Engler I could say a few things besides the basics of please and thank you, hello and good bye:

“I’m a Canadian exchange student.”
“I don’t speak Finnish.”
“I’m hungry.”
“I’m thirsty.”

“I’m lost.”

“Where’s the bathroom?”
“Get your hands off me.”

“ice cream” and “Help!”

You’d be surprised just how far those simple phrases can take you! (By my first month in Finland I’d used them all!)

Unlike most of the other outbound students, I had not heard from my host family before I’d left Canada. All I knew about them was from the letter I’d received from my club exchange officer: their professions and family composition. It was very scary going off to a new culture and language with so little information, but it was an adventure and I was ready for anything.

After a week of orientation in Karkku my host father and sister came to get me. We had a few hours to drive to get to Kotka where they lived. I liked them immediately. They were quiet, intellectual and kind. My sister had a shy smile that won me instantly. It was when I arrived at their home though, that my true transition began.

As I opened the front door, a warm bundle of love grabbed me in a crushing hug and weepily exclaimed, “Tervetuloa! Velcome!” As my host-mom beamed at me with excitement and affection, I knew I had a new home. I was on my way to becoming half-Finnish “puoli-Suomalainen” in my heart.

.

PS.  Click on “Rotary” on the categories list to find my other blogs on being an exchange student.

 

Sorry about the shoes Sylvia! June 1, 2010

Filed under: Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 1:42 am
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Sylvia Taylor, President of the Federation of BC Writers, has had a life full of interesting adventures and accomplishments.  She is the author of a book about her time on in fishing boat on the Pacific Coast called The Fisher Queen, but tough as she is, she can still be distracted.

And apparently, all through her moderating of the Forum on the State of Canadian Publishing  at the Shuswap Lake International Writers’ Festival she was being sorely distracted by an adorable pair of shoes worn by a writer in the front row.  They were Cute Shoes: very graphic black and white patent leather peep-toes with big buttons, bobbing on the end of animated feet.  They’re the kind of shoes that are busy gossiping things like, “Come be my friend!”  or “I’d love to talk to you!”  or even, “I love your Fisher Queen book, Sylvia!” even while the hands above the feet are busily typing notes about the discussion, and the head is busy processing the information and asking intelligent questions.  Those shoes were not the smart girl with her hand in the air, they were the cheer leader in the back driving the teacher – or moderator – crazy with her giggles.

My shoes.

Sorry Sylvia.

You did a great job moderating.

 

Monday May 31, 2010

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 7:00 am

Today is moving like mutating molasses
…………………………a sneaking snail
………………..a moody mule
………a gliding glacier
Tick
……..Tick
……………..Tick
……………………..Tick
……………………………..Tick
……………………………………..Tick
Minutes migrating toward a millenium

Must be

…………….Monday

 

Whoo hoo! I won! May 30, 2010

Filed under: Poetry,Writing — Shawn L. Bird @ 5:14 am
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How delightful to be a winner of the Shuswap Lake International Writers’ Festival Cheesy Suspense Quick Write Contest. 😀

These are a fun part of writing conferences. The committee prepares an opener, and participants can create a 80 word or less ending to the story in either prose or poetry.

OPENING: It is a wild and stormy night on Shuswap Lake. No one in their right mind should be out in this. Wait! What was that? A lightning flash caught a movement on the beach! Who, or what, could it be? Whatever it was seemed to be pulling something heavy towards the water. The next lightning flash showed only an empty beach. Maybe I should investigate…

MY ENTRY:

The heavy thing splashes
Like manuscript ashes
While that thing on the beach
Is extending its reach.

In the storm a crowd gathers
And houseboat slosh lathers
The shore, when another bright flash
Shows the victim making a dash
From the whole Shuswap Watershed commission
wielding a thick anti- Smart Centre petition.

Who’s the guy fleeing the party?
I would swear it was Marty…

Apologies to those who are not local and are missing the humour! 😉 Marty is our mayor and voted for a WalMart Smart Centre to be built in a sensitive Watershed area. It’s a bit of a hot issue in the Shuswap these days! This entry should have won me a gift basket of gouda cheeses apparently. Unfortunately, since you had ‘to be present to accept your prize’ and I was having dinner with a publisher when they announced the winners, I get the accolades but not the yummy prize.    2nd place Brenda Melnachuk got to take home the cheese. Well, I may get a better prize out of a wonderful evening. We’ll just have to wait and see.