Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

poem-irony August 27, 2014

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 8:46 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

In the US,




kills her

shooting instructor

with an uzi.


In the US,

Kinder eggs

are illegal.



(Read the news article here)


37 Responses to “poem-irony”

  1. Geo Sans Says:

    kinder ?

  2. Job E. Says:

    The irony of it all. I actually saw an ad online about this.

  3. I also tried not to choke on the irony when I heard that!

  4. Stevey Solis Says:

    I’m just trying to figure out what parent thought a sub machine gun was something their nine year old needed to learn to shoot? I am all for gun safety, but I won’t be handing my kid an automatic anything when they are nine-teen much less nine!!!!

    • We have given up trying to understand the American gun psyche.
      We’re just thankful that in Canada we have Kinder eggs.

      • Stevey Solis Says:

        I don’t even know what Kinder Eggs are! (Side note: I had an opportunity to visit Canada as a kid, got as far a Michigan before my parents realized I needed a passport but didn’t have one, I did get to meet some kids from Montreal at the Black Lake retreat though.)

      • Passports have only been required to cross the border in the last 5 or 6 years. I crossed back and forth in the 80s without a passport (or id!) I think perhaps if you’d been flying in they would ask for it, but not to drive. Even now, while driving across the border passports are recommended to get into the US, if you’re coming into Canada, a drivers’ licence will suffice.

        Kinder eggs are excellent European (German? Swiss?) chocolate eggs about the size of a duck egg. It’s a white chocolate coated by a milk chocolate (real chocolate, not the sugar and wax variety most frequently found in the US). The egg is hollow, with a capsule about 2″X1″ Inside this capsule ‘yolk’ is a toy- frequently fascinating and complex toys that are assembled following diagrams along the lines of Ikea furniture. I presume the US Powers That Be regard this capsule as a choking hazard. In the rest of the world, the eggs just aren’t recommended for kids likely to choke on them.

        I suddenly want to research death by Kinder egg.

        Here’s a blog with photos of some toys.

      • Stevey Solis Says:

        NIfty! See those sound awesome, not a fan of the chocolate bit (I like Dark) but the toy sounds fun.

      • Personally, my regular chocolate is 80% cacao dark, because most North American milk chocolate is crap. But Kinder chocolate is lovely. In fact, I buy just the chocolate when I’m in Europe. Mmm.

  5. How mad’s that!!!!!

  6. stemgir1 Says:

    My cousin received a school newsletter today to say that cart wheels and handstands are banned at school unless the PE teacher is supervising! What a strange world we live in.

  7. aleksisfaust Says:

    I think the ending two lines are what make this poem. Very subtle.

  8. aleksisfaust Says:

    Reblogged this on Aleksis Faust and commented:
    Yo, this author is on some Red Wheel Barrow shit with the subtle set up but then that punchline though.

  9. sonnet33 Says:

    Clever juxtaposition! Sad, so very, very sad. I love the US, and enjoy some amazing times with American friends, but wouldn’t raise my children there because of thus madness.

  10. macjam47 Says:

    Great poem. I am still trying to wrap my mind around that fact that poor child’s parent thought it was a good thing to let a child shoot something like that. NO ONE NEEDS TO LEARN TO SHOOT AN UZI!

  11. howardat58 Says:

    It’s a pity Americans don’t get irony.
    (I had to look up Uzi on Google !)

    • lol

      It’s a whole different world. We travelled through Arizona and a bit of Nevada last December, and were amazed at the number of shooting places advertizing HUGE automatic weapons. I kept telling my husband he needed to go shoot a machine gun, because seriously, when else would he have a chance to do that? But he didn’t think it was worth the money. (Not that he stopped to see how much it’d cost, either).

      Automatic weaponry is illegal in Canada.

  12. Mmmmmm, lovely!
    How come i’m missing out on this????

    Call me lazy lol. I love it really… 🙂

  13. Lorien Says:

    Shawn, call me crazy, but I clicked on the link twice and it directed me to a timeline of sorts recounting the BC Teachers’ journey to get what is needed for quality education. I did not see anything about a news article. Was this purposeful?

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