Shawn L. Bird

10 Responses to “haiku-water park”

1. navaara Says:

   July 24, 2013 at 4:12 pm

   That is exactly what it looks like at a water park.

   Reply
   • Shawn L. Bird Says:

     July 24, 2013 at 9:20 pm

     My thoughts exactly. 😉

     Reply
2. Geo Sans Says:

   July 24, 2013 at 6:52 pm

   rock
   n
   robins

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   • Shawn L. Bird Says:

     July 24, 2013 at 9:20 pm

     Precisely. In the tree tops (or the puddles) all day long

     Reply
3. pi314chron Says:

   July 24, 2013 at 7:26 pm

   Very nice image but the haiku would be stronger if you can rewrite to avoid using the simile.

   -R-

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   • Shawn L. Bird Says:

     July 24, 2013 at 9:19 pm

     I debated that, but needed the extra syllable.

     Reply
4. Adriannetu Says:

   July 24, 2013 at 9:25 pm

   I read your Haiku. Great imagery! Read one of mine: http://adriannetu.wordpress.com/poetry/haiku/secret/

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   • Shawn L. Bird Says:

     July 24, 2013 at 10:33 pm

     Very nice

     Reply
5. trixijinx Says:

   July 24, 2013 at 10:43 pm

   An excellent comparison, I love it! I was at the water park yesterday with my little niece. She ran up to me and exclaimed that she saw “so many rainbows in the water!” It was adorable.

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   • Shawn L. Bird Says:

     July 24, 2013 at 10:47 pm

     That’s sweet. They sometimes take the residents of my dad’s old folks home to watch the kids at the water park. They are rather exuberant!

     Reply