Being that it has been in the upper 90s and sometimes 100 degrees in New York I wish more New Yorkers would invest in soap and deodorant as well as toothpaste and mouthwash. Water is free. All the rest can be purchased for two dollars or less at local discount stores. These stinky, funky folks could use some tub meditation time.
Glad you enjoyed the poem. I am very thankful not to live in a place with a lot of humidity. The few times we have experienced it in our travels, we have found it incredible that people can actually live in it!
I really did. One day, maybe I’ll be able to write a short poem. The next one is my 10th, which is great. But I’m always inundated with stuff to write about. I’m not good at whittling it all down. Any advice?
Sometimes you have to write yourself to the theme of the piece. One starts with a raw emotion and you just ramble and ramble until you reach your epiphany (hopefully). Once you’ve reached it though, instead of relating the whole journey, you can look for the key spots. Underline or circle great phrases or powerful words. Choose only the best. What are the key thoughts that lead the reader to your theme?
When you tell your friends about your vacation, you don’t tell them about every tree you saw. You have to pass them in order to get to your destination, but they’re not worth including in your ‘vacation story’ later on. You just pick the best moments to retell, and so it should be with a poem.
Print off the first draft (or a few copies!) Try cutting out all the adverbs adjectives (and adjective and adverbial phrases like articles and prepositional phrases). What’s left? Look at the verbs. Is each one powerful? What are your transitional words? Are you overusing your conjunctions? Play with your pencil, pruning pieces until you find perfection. 😉
Thank you for this. Maybe I will try this one day, but I know now that this is not my style. The lot of what I write is very important to me, but I will get to this as a serious challenge at some point. I’ve copied and pasted in my notes. Thank you so much!
At different stages of our journey, poetry takes different forms, and our polishing takes different forms. You know what they say, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”
[…] Friday: “Quoting Myself”: New series will feature quotes from conversations I have had with others. I find that the stuff I leave around sometimes is pretty darn good! To just never share it or leave it in a comment thread some where would be a travesty. Now the following isn’t my quote, but it came from a conversation with Shawn Bird last night after I read her lovely short poem, Soap. […]
Much more condensed, for sure! Not actually a haiku, as you only have 12 syllables and haiku is 17 (5-7-5) but a nice boiled down essence. Excellent start! I really enjoy your longer work, by the way. You have a good voice.
Lol! Yea I was going for the 12 English = about 17 syllables Japanese syllables type. But I wasn’t sure that would go over. Ha! I’ll have to try. Yes, you’ve expressed that before, and thank you. A little challenge never hurt anyone 🙂 well…me
Being that it has been in the upper 90s and sometimes 100 degrees in New York I wish more New Yorkers would invest in soap and deodorant as well as toothpaste and mouthwash. Water is free. All the rest can be purchased for two dollars or less at local discount stores. These stinky, funky folks could use some tub meditation time.
lol Poor Deborah. I have to say, it’s so hot I just go to the gym (because I have to), or sit in my living room typing in air conditioned comfort.
I can deal with the heat but the humidity has been unbearable here. Shawn what I nice clean poem! I love it, and you make it look so simple.
Glad you enjoyed the poem. I am very thankful not to live in a place with a lot of humidity. The few times we have experienced it in our travels, we have found it incredible that people can actually live in it!
I really did. One day, maybe I’ll be able to write a short poem. The next one is my 10th, which is great. But I’m always inundated with stuff to write about. I’m not good at whittling it all down. Any advice?
Sometimes you have to write yourself to the theme of the piece. One starts with a raw emotion and you just ramble and ramble until you reach your epiphany (hopefully). Once you’ve reached it though, instead of relating the whole journey, you can look for the key spots. Underline or circle great phrases or powerful words. Choose only the best. What are the key thoughts that lead the reader to your theme?
When you tell your friends about your vacation, you don’t tell them about every tree you saw. You have to pass them in order to get to your destination, but they’re not worth including in your ‘vacation story’ later on. You just pick the best moments to retell, and so it should be with a poem.
Print off the first draft (or a few copies!) Try cutting out all the adverbs adjectives (and adjective and adverbial phrases like articles and prepositional phrases). What’s left? Look at the verbs. Is each one powerful? What are your transitional words? Are you overusing your conjunctions? Play with your pencil, pruning pieces until you find perfection. 😉
Thank you for this. Maybe I will try this one day, but I know now that this is not my style. The lot of what I write is very important to me, but I will get to this as a serious challenge at some point. I’ve copied and pasted in my notes. Thank you so much!
At different stages of our journey, poetry takes different forms, and our polishing takes different forms. You know what they say, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”
This is beautiful. I can feel like I am sitting on a bubble. You took me there. Thx.
Glad you enjoyed the ride
Reblogged this on The hipster life of Rhyia….
lovely metaphorical poem 🙂
Thanks.
[…] Friday: “Quoting Myself”: New series will feature quotes from conversations I have had with others. I find that the stuff I leave around sometimes is pretty darn good! To just never share it or leave it in a comment thread some where would be a travesty. Now the following isn’t my quote, but it came from a conversation with Shawn Bird last night after I read her lovely short poem, Soap. […]
Hey Shawn! Did I do it? http://wp.me/p3Fh74-qu
Much more condensed, for sure! Not actually a haiku, as you only have 12 syllables and haiku is 17 (5-7-5) but a nice boiled down essence. Excellent start! I really enjoy your longer work, by the way. You have a good voice.
Lol! Yea I was going for the 12 English = about 17 syllables Japanese syllables type. But I wasn’t sure that would go over. Ha! I’ll have to try. Yes, you’ve expressed that before, and thank you. A little challenge never hurt anyone 🙂 well…me
is why i have wings lol …so when the bubble bursts i can jest go fly fly fly free as a bird 🙂 HeHe 🙂 kewl one… Q