In Fire and Hemlock Diana Wynn Jones says,
For you , the only way to behave well was to behave badly. For me, the only way to win was to lose. You weren’t to know me, and I wasn’t to remember you.
The paradox of this captured me, so I copied it down to ponder. The rest of this quote talks about letting go being the only real way to love someone.
What does it mean to you?
Shawn L. Bird 
At first this seems like something someone might say to a rather abusive lover. But the key seems to me about the power of erasing someone manipulative from one’s mind.
I haven’t read this book but loved her children’s book ‘Dogsbody.’
Well as the expression goes, “Everyone comes into your life for a reason or a season.” Wisdom is knowing when that reason or season has come to an end. We can’t even hang onto the pets we love much less a human beings. People change, their circumstances change, their feelings and emotions change. As my former Pastor A.R. Bernard used to say, “The only constant in life is change.” Sometimes our loved ones get sick and sometimes God calls them to their Heavenly reward. Even in death we as individuals must move on otherwise we’ll just get stuck. Forever mourning. Forever grieving. Lost in a world of sadness or pain. Even in the midst of separation, divorce or death, we have a choice stay mired in the past or to move forward into the next phase of blessings God has for our lives.
and yet, sometimes it feels like people choose change for its own sake, rather than for their betterment. One does need to know when to move on, though. I suppose I’m just not very good at that!
Shawn, All I can say are that some lessons come with age and experience. Some people do live for variety, change, excitement, etc… but after a while you’ll be able to spot them, accept their lifestyle and more on with your own life.
However in order to receive the fullness of life we must learn to be adaptable. I’ve come through some very hurtful & painful romances but I came to realize that person was not for me. I’m glad I did not marry any of them, especially the one I lived with for seven years. It was an abusive relationship both emotionally and psychologically. I could have just decided to hate men forever after all I went through but I made the decision after a period of quiet, loving me, solitude and loving my own company to the point where I did allow another man in my life. Now I have no idea if I will marry him. But I’m enjoying this relationship for however long the duration.
Sounds like a healthy attitude, Deborah. I can’t imagine the current dating world. I married young, after knowing my husband 7 months, and we’ve together for a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time now! 🙂
The synopsis to the book is here: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/367158.Fire_and_Hemlock See if that alters your perspective. This is a YA book, but the protagonist has had her memory erased/altered, and she is trying to piece out what reality was/is. It is such an odd statement, but then, this whole book was odd.
Reblogged this on Shawn L. Bird.
my take…he had to be a bad boy or she wouldn’t have been interested, she had to be willing to share him or live with the knowledge that he could up and leave at any time… the probability that in all likelyhood it would be a one night stand and nothing more… without context it is hard to know for sure but based upon you quote that is what I think…
Could be
Love can never be fully understood from the outside in because it happens from the inside out. And it’s so much more intense when its unexpected and unlikely. The sad reality is that most people don’t get that love always requires letting go. Even in marriage–its till death do you part at best case scenario. When I finally left a very negative relationship it was love that let me leave–not common sense.
Common sense is often not part of the equation.
Shawn, I put it on my Amazon wish list. I love young adult literature just for that point: they get away from all the death, sex, and crap of adult fiction, and show a fun and exploring side. Whether they are exploring for real or exploring who they are at this in between age, or both, they are the most fun to me. The only part which confuses me is the second statement wherein the only way to win was to lose. I understand the behaving badly, as some people it just seems that is they way they love to live. The last part I understand as well. I am going to repost on my page and see what responses I get. I will share with you when I get a few.
I look forward to hearing the results! I love YA myself (which is why I write it) for similar reasons.
Reblogged this on Mind Chatter and commented:
The book for this quote can be found at http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/367158.Fire_and_Hemlock. Tell me what you think, no seriously, tell me honestly what you think this means to you, even if it doesn’t make sense right now. Thanks
Reblogged this on we all have inner demeans .