Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

Bad talents (part 4) July 15, 2010

Filed under: poodles — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:00 am
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Further misadventures of Kimelle’s Optimum Jive aka OJ the standard poodle.

OJ loves packages.  He loves zip-locked bags.  Apparently opening a zip lock bag for him is like opening Christmas presents to a four year old.  He doesn’t care what is inside the bags, it’s the opening that he likes.  50 little bags on a ring, each neatly labeled and stuffed with entirely inedible little circular Girl Guide badges?  Oh those are a wonderful prize.  He happily opened every single bag and scattered a couple hundred little badges all over the family room, so I would have the pleasure of sorting them all again.  He’s helpful that way.

How about those expensive, heavy duty ziplock bags made for miniature toiletries while travelling through customs?  Even empty, because of their deluxe nature I suppose, opening them brings him joy.  He is careful to ensure all our toiletry bags have adequate drainage and ventilation.

If, however, the bags happen to contain food, OJ is in paradise.  He routinely opens up my purse to check for treats.  He can open zippers on the purse, and on the cosmetic bag within.  (I prefer this to the times before he bothered to open zippers when he’d chew through several layers of lining ).  He likes those little foil packages of hand-wipes.  He doesn’t eat them, but he likes to open them.  I presume that’s more about ventilation.   He has eaten countess granola bars stored in my purse for emergency snack.  (Mine, not his).  Yeah, yeah.  I should put my purse up where he can’t get it.  I know.  He’s sneaky.  He distracts me.  He pretends he’s not interested, and then wham- purse raid.

He showed amazing skill opening little packages of sesame seed snaps last year.  I came across a good dozen empty wrappers in a tidy pile beside their box between his pillow and the couch.  He’d managed to smuggle the box out of the pantry and individually opened each package before devouring the treats within.   You wouldn’t find many dogs taking the time to do that, but poodles have class.

We took him to the vet after that one, actually.  He looked a little green when I found him.    The x-ray showed his lower digestive tract was rather packed with seeds, but with a little  time tidy tubes of sesame seeds were duly deposited in the back yard.  They didn’t attract nearly as much attention as the pile of raisins and dried cranberries I’d cleaned up the year before.   Ants love fruit that has traveled through a dog digestive tract, apparently.

I do live in fear that OJ will commit suicide by stolen food.  It is far to easy to imagine.  He almost did it this year.  I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.


5 Responses to “Bad talents (part 4)”

  1. keren Huyter Says:

    Oh wow. If I was drinking something, it would have shot out my nose!!!

  2. mcrozy Says:

    I am thoroughly enjoying your poodle stories. I am both entertained and nervous since I have only had my standard poodle for about 5 weeks now and his intelligence is already making me work harder to out think him. I named him Starbuck for his cafe au lait color but I should have called him Ninja. He can steal something right from under my nose and I never hear him do it.

    • Shawn Bird Says:

      lol- yes. On the Poodle List there have been discussions about whether intelligence tests should be given to potential poodle owners, because there are many dangers when the dog can out-smart the owner on a regular basis! You think they’re curled up on the couch like a watermelon, and the next thing you know all the kitchen prep has disappeared, and the ‘watermelon’ is still on the couch. You have to test the breath to know for sure…

  3. Liz Says:

    LOL! I love poodle adventures! I’ve had minis all my life and when dating used to tell guys, “love me, love my poodle.” My previous poodle, Angel the eleven pound wonder, had the talent of opening my parent’s sub-zero refrigerator in order to remove the choicest of meat options unto the living room couch for devouring. We tried to catch her in the act in order to best figure out how to twart her explorations by setting up a camcorder facing the fridge. Despite numerous attempts, all we ever got was an image of the innocent looking poodle strolling up to the fridge, cocking an ear, looking DIRECTLY at the hidden camera, SNORTING and stalking out of the room. I feel your pain.

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