Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

poem- hollows July 20, 2014

I wait

in the hollow place

for you

You happily celebrate

the concavities

but appreciate

the complexities

of the convexities.

In hollow places

grace erases traces

of solemnity and

embraces totality,

while

I wait

for you.

 

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poem-always apologize March 20, 2014

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 12:06 am
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When your wife

thinks you should apologize

you should.

If she says you’ve hurt her

don’t doubt her

Come with flowers

(even dandelions)

Embrace her

Just admit

you didn’t realize

that your actions

would be received so badly

Just apologize

and mean it

and everything

will be fine.

Next time,

when your wife hurts  you,

you can tell her,

and she’ll apologize

to you.

 

poem- beautiful October 27, 2013

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 9:43 am
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I love you

I want to be with you

he said

but I can’t ever call you beautiful

I’ll say lovely

and that’s better

She nodded uncertainly

wondering what that meant

Years later

she reminded him of his words.

I was an ass,

he said.

But he still could not

bring himself

to say the word.

 

the purpose of marriage August 7, 2012

Filed under: Pondering — Shawn L. Bird @ 6:13 pm
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I’ve been thinking a bit about marriage, this being a season of new marriages and significant anniversaries in our circle.  We are seeing everything from the blush of new couplings, to those having reached a half century and stretching beyond.

Marriage serves many purposes.  Once upon a time, a marriage could forge alliances, settle feuds, and enlarge estates.  The bride was property to exchange, and  the children would be the beneficiaries of those alliances.  That was a long view of marriage, a kind of dynastic vision with the individuals’ place firmly seen as a small cog in a greater machine of familial destiny and power mongering.

Nowadays, we tend not to think such of great thoughts and purpose.  Sure, a spouse with a rich or influential family provides a nice security, and undoubtedly a youthful trophy on an man’s arm gives him at least an imagined superiority over others.  Some pay for their shallow reasons in hefty divorce settlements, and that’s the price of doing such business.

Way back in the second book of Genesis, God declares, “The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Gen 2:18)  and so God fashioned woman.  Consider some ways to interpret that:  a helper is a help mate, a companion, a consort, an accomplice, a partner, a protector, a guide, and a colleague (so says the on-line thesaurus).

A spouse (whatever the gender) must be all those things.  What first brings a couple together may be prosaic, and some romantics might scoff at the dispassionate process that bonds some couples, though I think such sober decision making provides stronger glue than the chemical waterfalls of attraction and biological imperative.  Sexual coupling requires far less effort than a lifetime partnership, after all.   I know a lot of people who choose toxic partners repeatedly and then bemoan their horrible relationships.  It seems ironic in the extreme that they don’t recognise that “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten.”  Choose your life partner for more important reasons than the colour of his eyes or how she looks in her jeans.

I once heard that falling in love releases massive amounts of hormones into your system.  The result is that your brain is numbed and drugged, as the rush of dopamine is equivalent to a cocaine high.  You can’t make rational decisions when you’re so befuddled.  I heard that it takes a full year for your brain to clear the chemicals so you can think lucidly again.

The most important question to ask yourself when your brain function returns is “Why should I marry this person?  What would the purpose of such a marriage be?”  When you can step back and study the goals, you stand the best chance of making a marriage that will have staying power.

 

 
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