Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

poem- fewer September 13, 2014

Filed under: Poetry — Shawn L. Bird @ 6:25 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

There could be no fewer steps

than those he trodded toward you

straight limbed and unencumbered

directly into destiny.

There could be no fewer steps

than those away from dreams

point-less apparitions

of troubled consciousness

directly into destiny.

.

.

.

(I don’t know what it means.  If you have an idea, feel free to share!)

 

15 Responses to “poem- fewer”

  1. howardat58 Says:

    It means that you went off with him, leaving your junk behind.

  2. Revolutionary Tears Says:

    Two types of people:

    people who go for their dreams
    people who fumble around and avoid following their dreams

    but ultimately we all fall to destiny?

    I liked your disclaimer it made me laugh because there have been times in school where I would sit there thinking:

    “I’ve read this poem a million times, there’s no point to it and it’s terribly written”

    Regardless of whether you had a point or not I still enjoyed your poem 😛

  3. Well as I read the first part I thought of a young child, maybe a toddler marching into childhood, adolescence and becoming a young adult. Now after the first appearance of the word “Destiny” Could be the parent or guardian moving away from emotional/energy Vampires, Soul-sucking stations and negative persons/leeches who try to block their ascendance. Or the person is just seeing ghosts but not Casper the Friendly Ghost!! LOL!!

  4. dramonovich Says:

    The concept of mating, then striving to reach our dreams together while girded by external life events. Your poetry is dwells deeply in to the fabric of our relationships. Very beautiful. [Sigh]

  5. DraconaiX Says:

    Hi, Shawn
    why trodded and not just trod? Interesting choice, placing such a cumbersome non-word in the same stanza as unemcumbered another cumbrous choice. Adds a paradox that suggests perhaps whoever it is that is walking does in fact carry much hidden baggage. Which is something the second Stanza hints at. Do you not feel the urge to write a third? 😎

  6. kelseyjaymills Says:

    I got the same child-vibe as dancingpalmtrees, but I read it more like a parent watching their child growing up and giving up some of the immaturity of youth to embrace their life as an adult.


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