At the water park
Small children dance and shake like
robins in puddles
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That is exactly what it looks like at a water park.
My thoughts exactly. 😉
rock
n
robins
Precisely. In the tree tops (or the puddles) all day long
Very nice image but the haiku would be stronger if you can rewrite to avoid using the simile.
-R-
I debated that, but needed the extra syllable.
I read your Haiku. Great imagery! Read one of mine: http://adriannetu.wordpress.com/poetry/haiku/secret/
Very nice
An excellent comparison, I love it! I was at the water park yesterday with my little niece. She ran up to me and exclaimed that she saw “so many rainbows in the water!” It was adorable.
That’s sweet. They sometimes take the residents of my dad’s old folks home to watch the kids at the water park. They are rather exuberant!