Shawn Bird

the web page & blog

joy in death May 11, 2012

Filed under: anecdotes,Friendship — Shawn Bird @ 9:38 pm
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I have heard a lot of gleeful old ladies discussing the social aspects of funerals.  Sometimes, it seems rather ghoulish, but it’s true, a good funeral is a wonderful opportunity to connect with faces you haven’t seen in years.  If  people are ‘friends of friends’ or family ‘out-laws’ they may have been part of your periphery for a period in your life, but as you move in different directions, you don’t hear of them any longer.

It was sad to bid farewell to a sweet girl who has been on the edge of life for 26 years.  At her birth, the doctors didn’t expect Emily to live out the day, and most days throughout her life were tenuous.  Emily was a model of being grateful for every day, for dressing to the nines, and appreciating the close up details of things.

Amid our sadness, it was lovely see see familiar faces from the past, and appreciate the time to reconnect with them.   No one seems much changed by time, save a few pounds and some hair colour alterations.  I love that.

There is humour in those meetings, as well. A man I hadn’t seen in decades commented tonight that when he would drive through my old neighbourhood that he would wonder what I was doing now.  Ha.  Now he has the link to my blog, all the mystery will be gone.

;-P

 

space walking March 23, 2012

Filed under: Friendship,Grace Awakening — Shawn Bird @ 4:06 pm
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A few days ago I shared with you music from a young Ben, but told you that the character of Ben in the Grace Awakening series isn’t named after him. The genesis of Ben Butler was in a young man I knew as a teen.  Amin Bhatia grew up to be a television and movie composer, and he started early.  When he was barely twenty he won the prestigious Roland International Synthesizer Tape Competition (twice) and was offered a record deal that led to an amazing album called Interstellar Suite.

I’ve discovered it on you tube, so here it is for you.   I can’t tell you how many hours I listened to this piece (and the 20 min composition “Images on a Theme of Science Fiction” that pre-dated it) on my 33 1/3 LP!  :-)   You really need to plug in your headphones and close your eyes to hear this properly.  Oh- a note for you musicians- this was done in the early 80s.  Amin created this all using ANALOG technology.  Every track you hear he laid down separately, and every instrument he created himself.  Visit his website, BhatiaMusic.com for more information.

I have the most talented friends, eh?

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One day March 8, 2012

Filed under: Friendship,Poetry — Shawn Bird @ 4:00 pm

A few posts ago I mentioned the talented Catherine Novak and how she’d adapted my poem, “My Tribute,”  into a song back in high school.  I sang in a gospel musical group called Koinonia with Catherine , and she composed a song that we loved to perform.  It was bouncy and rocking and our audiences always loved it as well.  It’s another one that only exists in our memories, but this is what I recall of Cathy’s Song.  The lyrics are great, too.

One day a long time ago

When I had lost my soul

I knew I needed someone who would come and make me whole.

I looked around me and I saw Him standing there

He said that He would help me

my burdens He would bear;

and He said, I’ve got the time

If you will only follow me.

Come to my house, I will teach you to be free.

And you’ll become a part of one great family

and I said, “Lord, have mercy on me.”

We talked a long, long while, I told him of my fears

He comforted my soul, He wiped away my tears.

He said that he love me and save me from my sin

and if we just knock but once, you know He’ll let us in.

and He said,

I’ve got the time

If you will only follow me.

Come to my house, I will teach you to be free.

And you’ll become a part of one great family

and I said, “Lord, have mercy on me.”

And now I live my life in  h a r m o n y with G o d ….

and He said,

I’ve got the time

If you will only follow me.

Come to my house, I will teach you to be free.

And you’ll become a part of one great family

and I said, “Lord, have mercy on me.”

I wish there was a recording for you to hear this, because it is really quite a wonderful song.  It’s good as a poem, too, though.  ;-P

Thanks Cath, for some great musical memories!

 

My tribute February 9, 2012

Filed under: Friendship,Poetry,Pondering — Shawn Bird @ 12:30 am

I wrote a lot of poetry as a teen, to sort out my feelings about a variety of things, but usually about a boy (the particular musical boy, my obsession toward whom was the beginnings of Grace Awakening, in fact).  For his 20th birthday I gave him a book of my poetry (about him) all done in calligraphy.  At the end there was extra space, and so I created a rambling poem to fill 3 or 4 pages.

To celebrate his 21st birthday, I had another musical friend compose the music and adapt that rambly poem into a song.  During graduation weekend, on one rather emotional Saturday afternoon, after a swim in her pool, we performed for him (I had the descant part which I’ve essentially forgotten), she sang the melody and played the piano).

I find myself singing this song now and then, and it is strange to think that there are only three people on the planet who’ve ever heard this song, and I suspect of the three of us, I’m the only one who still knows any of  the words and the music, since that performance is now  far away in the murky mists of the past.

I could sing this for you, but you’d probably prefer it if I didn’t.  I assure you that it’s quite lovely though, and I’m thankful to the talented Catherine Novak Schulmann for her efforts to take my poetry and turn it into a very meaningful moment of music, lo those many years ago.

Over the years, I’m sure I’ve mis-remembered bits and re-constructed others.  Somewhere there might be a single cassette tape recording of it, but I doubt it.  That means there’s no way to check if I’m wrong, but this is the way I remember it:

In my small way, I have tried to capture
The many facets that I know are you
And in doing so, to discover myself
And the boy with whom I grew.

Beyond the images, we conceived of each other
Honestly, fictiously, subconsciously
What me mean to each other
Beyond our concept of love (whatever it may be)
`til we accept the facets ingrained in you and me.

When I say I love you I say it with my heart
`cause this feeling is not fleeting, untried, or new
And even when I’m angry
Or when I’m crying and lonely
That doesn’t weaken my trust or my belief in you.

For you have always made me feel important enough
To care for, to share with and be there for
When times got tough
And I thank you for your friendship
I’ll thank you `til the end
It’s a joy and a blessing, that you should be my friend.

You have given me many gifts
Your friendship, music,  and love
And these are gifts I’ll cherish for all time.
I thank you for giving me the greatest gift I’ve ever known
And this is my tribute.

♥

♥

Submitted for Poetry picnic on the theme of song, poetry, and art.   http://gooseberrygoespoetic.blogspot.ca/2012/04/poetry-picnic-week-29-art-music-and.html   If you’re here from the Gooseberry Garden, please leave a link to your poem in any comment you leave!

 

Eulogy for life January 19, 2012

Filed under: Friendship,Poetry — Shawn Bird @ 10:32 pm
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I needed a poem for the English 9 final exam.  It needed to fit the theme, and have some poetic devices.  After scanning assorted books, I gave up and wrote my own. The title comes from a literal transliteration of eulogy- Good words.

.

If I could
I would
Follow you forever, friend
Through years of fears, of tears.

I’d follow you
Through toys, boys, noise, joys
To poise.

If I could,
I’d follow, friend
But I am as a hollow end.
Be brave,
I am a memory saved
Despite the cave
of grave.

 

Trembling December 28, 2011

Filed under: Friendship — Shawn Bird @ 12:34 pm
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Today’s offering, a musical interlude by my harp friend and teacher Sharlene Wallace of Toronto. Enjoy!
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gone, not forgotten September 2, 2011

Filed under: anecdotes,Friendship — Shawn Bird @ 11:24 am
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Once upon a time I had a friend who was a middle child.  She was an eldest daughter between a precious son and an adorable daughter.  She was the kind of child who chafed at constriction, who felt injustice and inequality, who was determined to have her own way even if it hurt.

She made some choices that were painful for friends and family alike.  But time wore down the edges, softened attitudes and then life blossomed.  She joyfully awaited the birth of a child.  Like many things with her, it was a high risk endeavour.  She didn’t do things the easy way.  Doctors said they’d ensure the delivery was a safe one.

The child arrived, but the delivery wasn’t safe.   There came baby, blood, coma and after a time of lingering, she left.  A final injustice.

She didn’t get to see her baby grown into an amazing young woman.  She didn’t get to become all she could have been herself.  But she lives on in our memories, and on her birthday, a tear may fall…

Thinking of  her today.

 

Remembering Masks… July 16, 2011

Filed under: Friendship,Pondering — Shawn Bird @ 1:04 pm
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Once upon a time, on this day in history a few days after I turned 13, I had a life changing conversation with a friend. He shared with me a short story he’d found called “Masks.” It was profound and the resulting conversation about honesty and being true to yourself left me in a cloud.

In fact, when I got home, people were afraid there had been a lot more than conversation going on, since I was so dazed and blissful.

I don’t remember the details of the story anymore, and I don’t remember the conversation either. What I remember is the attachment that came from listening and being heard. I remember the comfort of someone I admired spending time with me. I remember the sense of connection, fondness, and adoration.

It was still resonating enough at my graduation that 716 was the number on my grad t-shirt.

It still resonates enough that I’m writing this blog about it decades later.

So Happy Masks Anniversary. May you live your life unafraid to be yourself and to accept others as themselves. May you speak words of honesty with warmth.  May you be the kind of person who draws others to your sincerity and good humour.   May you be an inspiration that echoes through the decades.
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PS. If you know the story “Masks,” which was apparently from a youth writing anthology published in the late 70s, I’d appreciate knowing about it.  I would love to read it again.

 

love through it June 15, 2011

Filed under: Friendship — Shawn Bird @ 8:42 pm
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Cancer is everywhere these days, but since 1980 when Terry Fox set out on his Marathon of Hope, things have changed. In so many cases the treatments have helped many win the battle that would have been lost 30 years ago. Early detection, better treatment and improved follow up care have been the cure for many. Salmon Arm is a community with a big heart for cancer. Our Relay for Life consistently brings in more donations than the cities of Vernon (several times our size) and Kelowna (10 times our size). Sometimes the fight is general, but sometimes it has a precious focus.

At the moment, a member of Jamila Mai Bellydance is undergoing chemo for breast cancer. It is so great when a community gathers together to support one of its own in a time like this. Wrapped in pink ribbons, Jamila Mai celebrates Barb, the Chest Pop Queen.

Read about the event here.  As you admire the beautiful photos you will see the love shining through each person there.  Barb is very loving, and she is very loved.

 

the cute nerd May 1, 2011

Filed under: Friendship,Grace Awakening — Shawn Bird @ 3:43 pm
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I have just had a shocking epiphany. Once upon a time when I was in elementary school, I had a wild crush on a scrawny, goofy nerd. When I looked back at this memory while I was writing Grace Awakening, I had a sense of moral superiority over my affection for the kid. He had his talents, sure, and a sense of humour to boot, but he wasn’t building his biceps in the gym after school and he wasn’t going to be signed in any model search. In fact, I built the first meeting of Ben and Grace on the foundations of this premise: that her first sight of him has no impact because he’s “just another band dweeb to pass in the halls,” until he starts playing his music and she loses herself in the unexplicable connection as their destinies entwined.  It was important that there was no attraction before that moment.

Well, now I have to re-think everything.

I just saw a photo of said nerdy guy, at just the age when I first saw him.  He’s cute.  Nerdly cute, of course, but most definitely cute. What the heck?! I honestly don’t remember such cuteness!   But there it is.  Plainly, that year at least, if not in the following ones, there was decided cuteness.  It’s kind of a Justin Bieber in Drew Carey’s glasses thing.  Strange.  Cute.

I am agog. I can see that before such cuteness I would obviously have been helpless to resist.  Apparently I am far more shallow than I thought. How humbling.  I may have to re-think that entire first chapter of Grace Awakening.

Or maybe not.  Grace and Ben have their own history that doesn’t have anything to do with my history.  But still.  I built that chapter on a ‘germ of truth’ that turns out to be a ‘germ of untruth.’  It’s quite discombulated me.  When the germ of truth that became the story is wrong, all that’s left is story.  Grace is once again claiming her own reality and leaving me baffled.

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Here is an early first draft of this chapter, if you’re curious.

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PS.  I wish I could show you the photo, but that would probably get me into trouble.  So you’re  just going to have to trust me on this one:  cute. 

Well.  I might be able to show you the photo.  Email me if you remember the kid.  I might share.

;-)      ;-)      nudge   nudge

 

 
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